Christmas Dragonfly
by Mitsukai Kansei
Summary: They say that when a couple sees a dragonfly in Christmas, they'd destined to be together... RukaRU, NatSumIkan coMpLEtE!
1. School Blizzard

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA (Gakuen Alice)

A/N: Well, hello every humanses! This is my 4th time attempt to make a GA fic! ARGH!

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Chapter 1: School Blizzard

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White balls of cold and frozen water slowly fell from the sky. One by one the snow started to cover the whole campus but, it was different this time, it wasn't made by an Alice, it was a natural snow fall. The school was painted white this time and students were at their warmest clothes and tried their best not to run outside a room or something. But, it was something special. The white snow covered almost every part of the campus; the cold winter breeze will make you shiver. Though, everyone seem to be in a warm and cheery mood even if their in winter wonderland, cause 1 week from now, Christmas will greet them.

"You know what guys," a teen with long blue hair and eyes uttered. "They say that when a two people find a dragonfly on Christmas, it means their destined to be together! Romantic ain't it?"

"Really?" A teen with long brown hair asked eagerly. "That's cool!"

"You actually find something like that cool Mikan, what an idiot," a technical genius uttered looking at the big window with white snow slowly falling. "You're so childish."

"Hmph!" Mikan pouted. "Well, I'm not an idiot Hotaru-chan! And besides, you don't have to like it!"

"Yeah Hotaru, don't you think it's true?" Iinchou asked.

"Why would I believe a childish fairy tale?" She asked back coldly. "And besides, don't tell me you believe in it Iinchou?"

"Well," Iinchou rubbed the back of his head. "There's nothing wrong with it right?"

Hotaru looked at him for awhile and sighed. She stood up and walked away.

"Hotaru-chan, anata wa doko ni ikimasu ka?" Mikan asked, curiously. Hotaru pointed to her face a small pink gun.

"Shut up," she replied coldly. "And don't you come following or else."  
Mikan nodded like a small puppy as Hotaru walked away from class. She was still afraid of her baka gun for 3 years, she never changed. Hotaru was still cold, still smart and still serious. Mikan is still dumb, cheery and tries to help anyone in need. Iinchou still cheers up Mikan, still smart, still calm. Natsume's still dark, lonely and well, cold. Ruka still being blackmailed, still has that crush on Mikan, still quiet. Nothing has changed, ne? Or, has something changed that hasn't been seen?

"That Hotaru," Mikan pouted as she kept hitting her index fingers with each other with the same puppy look. "She's soo mean."

"Calm down Mikan," Iinchou said. "You know Hotaru she's always like that, remember?"

Mikan nodded slowly. Iinchou sighed and placed his hand over his head. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Step aside four eyes," a harsh male voice uttered and pushed Iinchou a bit.

"Natsume!" Mikan cried and stood up. "What are you doing here?" _What type of a question is that? _

Natsume looked at her sarcastically, "First you were an idiot, now, you're absentminded fool," And he placed his hands in his pocket. "Instead of getting better, you've gotten worse. Stupid little polka dotted girl." And with that, he walked past her and made his way to his seat.

"Why you……" Mikan murmured in rage. "I'm going to kill you Natsume!" She ran to him and started to shout over and over again. **"Who the heck do you think you are! You always act smart and cool and you're just a cold, selfish freak! Oh what I'll do to kill you right now! You insecure freak of nature! YOU'RE SUCH A JERK! YOU KNOW THAT! You fire PERVERT! Why the heck did I get matched up with some STUPID, INCONCIDERATE JERK! You're so RUDE, you know that! You're like a ruthless MANIAC! Oh what I'll do to punch you right now! Why you…"**

"Shut your traps little girl," Natsume replied calmly as he flipped the pages of his manga. "Can't you see I'm reading? Or are so absentminded you totally forgot everyone can hear you screaming?"

Mikan looked at her surroundings, everyone was staring at her and blabbering and making rumors that she's like this and bla bla bla…….. Mikan blushed red from humiliation but her rage got worse with the Fire Alice. She clenched her fists tight and faced Natsume again. "You know what?"

"What?"

Mikan sighed and mentally counted up to ten and gave out another heavy sigh. She regained her happy tune again and cheery features. "I just wanted to ask where Ruka-pyon is."

"Ruka?" Natsume voiced and stood up. "Actually, I haven't seen him since this morning. I dunno where he is." He raised his eye brows and asked. "What do you want from him anyways?"

"Oh nothing," she replied calmly. "He would always be with you at these times now. I was just wondering."

Natsume looked at her with cold eyes and shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever." He sat down and gazed at the falling snow.

"You know what," she stated again. She sat beside him and looked at the falling snow as well. "Christmas is coming very soon."

"Yeah, I know that." He replied simply. "So?"

Mikan smiled at him and held his shoulder, "I just wanted to ask what you'll want for Christmas!"

"For Christmas?" He asked as he blinked his eyes. "What is it with you?"

"What?" She asked back. "I just wanted to give you something this Christmas."

"Well, I don't want you to give me something," he replied coldly. "What would I want from a little polka-dotted girl anyways?"

Mikan fumed at him with smoke coming from her ears, "Well sorry! Sorry for asking!"

"Apology denied," Natsume replied rather like a robot. Mikan sighed and calmed herself back again with 1-10. She sighed heavily and replied.

"Whatever you say, I'm gonna give you something!"

"Hmph," he replied and looked at her. "You're weird you know that?"

Mikan puffed her cheek and crossed her arms, "Well, who says you're not?"

Natsume smirked and placed his legs on the table and his arms behind his head. "Whatever."

Mikan then smiled at him and rested her back on the chair. "Hmmm…………"

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It was freezing cold, but, for her she didn't mind it at all. She slowly walked under the cold winter feeling, her foot making prints on the white snow. She slowly walked step by step under the freezing weather.

Why the hell am I walking here anyways? (tsk) I almost forgot it's because of the loudest idiot in the world. I can't believe she'll always yell in the morning, moron.

I walked along the school ground looking at the imprinted footprints beneath me. Hmm, Christmas…… it's drawing nearer and nearer. I sighed and looked at the cherry blossom tree where Natsume would usually sit under as Mikan followed him. Tch why don't they just confess already?

Walking and walking, the snows started to fall real hard.

"Imai?" A male voice voiced. She faced him and saw a blonde boy with light blue eyes looking at her intently. She shook her head and sighed.

"What is it?" She asked coldly. Then, the snow was falling harder, she barely can see him. He walked to her and patted her shoulder, he was wearing a jacket.

"What are you doing here, trying to freeze to death!" He shouted.

"Why do you care Ruka?" She asked with her emotionless tone. "(cough) It's better here to be with that idiot in class."

Ruka sighed, even with his jacket; he could still feel the cold weather surrounding them both, what more her? She was wearing the thin cloth and mini-skirt of the school! "Come on Hotaru, we better go back, you'll freeze to death here. We better go back." He said worriedly. She looked at him, seeing that his eyes were fixed tightly unto hers. But, her vision started to go blurry and she couldn't bear to stand up.

So…

She fell into his arms.

Ruka blushed to see her in his hands, to see themselves into this condition. He looked at her, she was sleeping (_MK: Is that the right term?)_ Then, something hit his head….

"Imai!" He shouted to her. "Wake up Imai!"

But nothing came to reply…

He looked around him and it seemed hopeless to get back to class at this rate.

Cause all he can see

Is white snow covering everywhere, no signs of buildings etc.

"No," he muttered. Then, he looked into his arms, the teenager's face was turning more pale every second.

This was not his day……..

"Imai!"

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_A/N: Well people, I'm back. This is just a short story and I hoped you like it. Sorry for the luck readers, but I'll try my very best to continue it ok guys?  
R&R!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	2. Something new

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice

A/N: Well, people, R&R! Hope you like it! Hmm, Yuuri's right, making GA fics isn't my strong point…Wonder why…

Oh yeah, this is also a small Mikan and Natsume fic! Sorry for not saying!

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Chapter 2: Something new

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"Darn it." A blonde said and coughed really loud. "When the hell did this school became the Mt. Everest? Shit!" And then, he fell to his knees. Carrying a teenager on his back and walking in a school blizzard isn't an easy job for a 13 year old. He stood up slowly and continued walking in the seemingly endless snow.

"Ru-Ruka…" A faint voice called out for him. Suddenly, he regained strength. He stood straight and his eyes widened. "Ru-Ruka…" It called for him again. He glanced at his back and a pair of deep violet eyes met his. Her eyes for the first time….

Looked helpless…

She wasn't like the old Hotaru he knew with the emotionless eyes and voice

She was helpless and hurt this time

She wasn't what she was before

Her eyes tells all

"I-Imai?" He asked a bit shocked. Her eyes were half lidded and her face started to turn bluish from the cold gust of the wind.

"Ruka…" This time, her voice was fainter, like a soft whisper. He shook his head and asked nervously.

"Imai!" He exclaimed and knelt down the snow. "Daijoubu? How are you? Please hold on…"

"Ruka…" She said once more. Ruka looked at her intently with worried eyes.

"Darn it Imai!" He shouted. "Hold on! This isn't the placed for you to die! You have a lot of things in stored!"

"Mmm," she said and closed her eyes for awhile. He waited patiently for her to open them, then, she whispered. "Sometimes, sometimes…"

"Sometimes what?" He asked.

"You look somewhat…"

"Somewhat?" He asked softly though impatiently. He wanted to know, he was curious. She sighed lowly and opened her eyes, half lidded like before. Demo…

Her half lidded eyes looked different now. It's not like it moved or anything, but, it just seemed to show

A different emotion like before

Her cold eyes that looked helpless and feeble

Now looked comforted

Like there was hope that wrapped around her

She, she seemed…

Happy?

For some reason, he thought

She smiled at him

Through her deep violet eyes

"Ruka," she stated again. But, she completed his name, for some reason, it calmed him down.

"What is it?" He asked, though, he was still worried.

"We can still go ne?" She asked softly. "You can do it. I know you can." Her words stiffened him for some while, this wasn't Imai

This wasn't the girl he knew before

This wasn't the girl the black mailed him

This wasn't the girl that he would always follow

The girl that would point the baka gun at him

No…

From the words she said

She showed that this time

She wasn't Imai for him…

She was now, Hotaru…

"Hotaru." He whispered under the snow. Being close to him, Hotaru didn't seem to hear him and closed her eyes. She placed her head gently unto his back, she wasn't cold anymore. Ruka, gained warmth this time and she was glad, very glad. He stood up slowly

But, he wondered

Where did he get strength?

From determination? From his heart?

From Hotaru's words?

His eyes widened once more but then, he smiled softly with a trace of red on his pale face.

And then, he walked again

He hasn't notice that slowly, slowly….

The coldness, yes, still covered them but

He was starting to be covered by warmth

Her warmth

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"Ne, Natsume-kun, where did you think Ruka-pyon and Hotaru-chan went to?" Mikan voice worriedly as she walked left and right, pacing around the room.

"Calm down Polka-dots." He said calmly and looked at her. "And will you stop that, it makes me nuts."

"Come on now Natsume!" Mikan exclaimed to him and spread her hands up. "Ruka-pyon and Hotaru haven't showed up yet in all their classes! It's a wild blizzard outside and we haven't seen them! Why are you worried for them!"

Natsume faced the other way. She was right, they were gone for a long time now and it worried him too.

They were left in class, everyone has gone to their dorms because Narumi and the other teachers were discussing about something important and they advised the children to stay at their dorms. Even with the think walls, the snow seemed to have entered the classrooms and it was freezing!

Mikan wanted to stay and wait for Hotaru there, she was afraid to be alone so she pulled Natsume with her. They walked to both of Ruka's and Hotaru's dorms and no one was there. They went around the school but they didn't see the two. And now, they're in class waiting for them.

"Tch," Natsume replied calmly. "Why should I be worried polka-dots?"

Mikan's eyes widened in shock angrily pushed her hand on the table. "What do you mean why should you be worried! Ruka-pyon's you're best friend and there you don't even care where he is! Natsume, I know you're a JERK but it doesn't mean you should just let Ruka there! What type of friend are you!"

"Hey," he said still calm. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"What the heck!" Mikan replied furiously. "Natsu-!"

"Shut up will you?" Natsume replied and gazed at the snow. "I'm not worried about Ruka because I know who he is. I know he can handle himself. Sheesh, you don't listen don't you?"

Mikan calmed down a bit, she looked at Natsume with calm eyes. He was looking at the window watching the snow falling. She smiled lightly and sat with him.

"What now?" He asked as he noticed her sudden move.

"Ne, Natsume, you still hasn't answered my question." She said simply. He averted his eyes to her and raised and eye brow.

"And what that may be?" He asked simply as well.

"What do you want for Christmas?" She asked. He sighed.

"Idiot…"

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"Ne, Ruka-kun?" She voice again. The snow has stopped falling and the temperature rose a bit though the school was still painted white.

"What is it Hotaru?" He asked, not knowing what name he just used.

"Na-nani?" She gasped in surprise. Then, his eyes widened

He called her by

Hotaru…

It didn't bother him though, for some reason.

So, he shrugged it off. It actually felt nice

To him and to her as well

"Doshite?" He asked just. "Is it bad to call you that?"

"Iie," she said quietly to him. "It, feels nice too."

"That's good to hear." He smiled. Hotaru looked around her. She knew it was cold. She knew they were covered with snow, thick snow and for some reason, she

Felt warm in their position

Yes, very warm and because of that

She can't help but say

"Ne Ruka, you're so warm." She said. "Arigato…"

"Na-nani?" He asked and his face blushed red, deep red. "Oh, err…"

"You know what," she stated. "Nogi Ruka, I never thought… you'll do this…"

"Eh?" He asked, and blushed some more. She laid her head on his back and sighed.

"Am I right?" She asked. "I would always black mail you, cause you unwanted misfortunes but then, here you are, walking in the snow carrying me."

"Well," he chuckled a bit. "I do what I can."

"So, have you ever considered me as a friend?" She asked out of no where. He paused talking for awhile, she waited for his answer.

She knew this was this gonna happen

That he can't answer the question she'll ask out of the blue

Yeah

"Daijoubu Ruka it ok if…"

"Hai," he said with a calm tone. "I do consider you a friend."

"Na-nani?" Her eyes shot wide open.

He sighed and smiled, she was Hotaru right now.

He can tell her everything

Yes, everything

"Ho-how come?" She asked once more. He looked at her and smiled, she just looked at his light blue eyes. "Ruka?" He looked back to his front and continued.

"Because, you were always there for me Hotaru," he replied. "At times when Natsume wasn't there, times when he isn't there, away and causing me worry of what might happen. You were always there."

"What do you mean?" She asked. "I was always there to black mail you."

Then, he just laughed it off.

She can feel blush rush to her cheeks. This feeling was different. _"Laughter… His laughter… Ruka-kun…"_

She can feel her heart beat faster and faster

This is the first time she's felt something like this

For a certain someone

She blushed some more when he smiled at her again. She felt so warm and comfortable with him.

This is the first time

She's ever felt like this

"Yeah, you're right." He nodded. "You're always there to blackmail me and stuff. But, you were always there when I was having trouble with Mikan. Though, I always disappoint you of not telling what I feel for her for 3 years. You were always there to show and tell me I still had chance though its too obvious to see that she only sees me as a friend, that she likes…"

"Shh…" she whispered softly against his ears. "Ssh…"

He blushed from her sudden action

"That's all I need to hear, no other answers." She said and rested her head on his back. "Ne, don't burry yourself with thoughts like that."

"Ha-hai…" He answered, he can feel his heart beating so fast.

Like, when he saw Mikan

On the Alice Festival years ago

But this time, it felt like

It was saying:

"This time, you won't fail because this time…"

"_It'll be stronger than before…"_

_It won't hut you than before_

_This is better because_

_It's stronger_

Those words played in his head

And his heart pumped faster

"Ho-Hotaru…" He whispered.

"Mmm?"

"Nothing."

Thinking deeply, he doesn't notice

The foggy snow slowly went away and

The trees showed themselves…

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_A/N: Sorry guys if you don't like it! I'm not just good at making fanfics! Oh well! R&R everyone!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	3. Break the Silence

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakeun Alice

A/N: Well, guys…. Thanks for the reviews! Be waiting for more of them!

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Chapter 3: Break the silence

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"Ne Natsume-kun…" Mikan said with an eerie tone. "Why don't we look for them?"

Natsume looked at her and sighed. She was asking the same questions over and over again for the past hour. He looked at the snow and didn't reply.

"Natsume…"

He was getting impatient with her voice

"Natsume-kun!"

One more question

"Why don't we?"

He'll burn her hair

"Natsume, I think we should…"

For sure

"AAAH! MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!" She screamed and ran around the room. He looked at him with a smirk and watched her run around the room. "MY HAIR!" She repeated. She blew over it again and again and the fire got worst. "AAARGH!" She screamed. "DARN YOU NATSUME!"

"Urusei little girl," he mumbled.

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"Tch," Ruka exclaimed to himself. "Darn it." He hated to admit it, he felt weak and tired. He hated to admit it but

He wanted to give up right there and right now

But, even though little strength is left in him

He will do everything in his power

To save this girl

Seemed to meant everything for him this time

"Ne, Ruka…" Hotaru mumbled. "You, you do know I can stand up? Maybe it'll be better if I walk with you?" She asked worried, really worried. She has no idea of how time passed by or how long they have been like that.

She's worried

Really worried

"None sense Hotaru," he said, trying to make his voice sound fine and all. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me," she replied and sighed. "It'll be better if I walk, understand?"

"No!" He shouted at her. Her eyes widened in surprise and stiffened out. They were quiet for awhile, none decided to speak between them. No one decided to

But, she broke the silence

"What gave you the right to shout at me?" She asked sarcastically. Then, she held out a small pink gun and pointed it at the back of his head. "Put me down or else."

He felt shivers cover his back

She never fails to scare him

Even at times like this

"Ho-Hotaru…" He murmured.

"Stop being stubborn Ruka," she replied and pushed the end of the gun to his head.

"But…"

"Uruse!" She shouted at him. His eyes widened and he stopped walking. The foot prints imprinted on the snow stopped multiplying.

"Hotaru, but you…"

"Iie," she said calmly. "You're doing this for me and I had enough. You're weak Ruka, stop this, please… it's ok now, I'm fine, there's no need to carry me anymore." Her voice was getting softer, "Stop, it'll make you weak and the slower we can get out."

"Ho-Hotaru… you…"

"And besides," her tone turned cold. She pointed her gun next to his cheek. "Or else."

He shivered and just when he thought she was being nice! What a bummer! Well, that's just how her little crazy mind works, he sighed in himself.

"Ok," he gave up and sighed. He knelt down slowly and her feet touched the snowy floor. He stood up straight and stretched his body.

"I told you," she said and dusted her skirt. "It'll be better if I walk beside you."

"I guess so," he replied quietly. She looked at him and took out something from her pocket.

"Hey," she said and threw him some ear muffs with a panda face on it. "Take this."

"What the heck?" He asked and looked at it like some alien object or something. She smiled at bit and explained.

"If you're wondering where that came from, it came from my invention no. 504, "The keep things in a small box." She said and held out a small metallic box that can fit her pocket. "It reduces the size of anything by changing its molecular structure." (_MK: Hehehe…)_

"Oh…" he said simply.

"Put that on," she said as she put one like his on as well. "Coldness is actually felt because of the cold air passing through the ears. Putting that on might lessen the coldness."

"Ok…" He nodded and put them on as well. The weather suddenly subsided, well, he felt that. He looked around him and sighed… Then, "WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING THIS OUT EARLIER!"

"Moron," she said and walked away.

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"Ne, Natsume, we should look for them, I can't wait any longer." Mikan said as she followed Natsume, who was going back to his dorm.

"What are you talking about little girl?" He asked coldly. "Who ever said I was waiting for Ruka?"

"Ne, Natsume-kun, I'm getting very worried!" She exclaimed to him and tugged his shirt. "Let's go!"

"Get away from me," he said and pulled his shirt away from her grasp. "And haven't I told you why I'm not looking for Ruka?"

"Yeah, you did, it's just that…"

"Forget it little girl…" He said and walked away from her.

"Natsume!" She shouted and ran after him.

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_A/N: Siigh! I'm just too lazy to write again so I made it a bit smaller. Still review peoples….!_

-_Mitsukai Kansei_


	4. Arigato

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice

A/N: Well, here's the next chapter, read and enjoy! This is a Mikan Natsume chapter!

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Chapter 4: Arigato

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"Demo, Natsume-kun!" Mikan exclaimed to him. He glared at her for the thousandth time but it doesn't seem to be working. They finally reached his dorm and his hand was already in the door knob.

"Will you shut up?" He asked, he keeps burning her hair but she comes back with the same plea. She just doesn't listen! He opened his door and walked in. Mikan was about to placed her hand on his shoulder when she suddenly slipped and pushed them in.

"What the hell!" Natsume growled and stood up from the floor.

"Oww…" Mikan muttered and rubbed the back of her head. She sat up and her eyes widened from what she saw…

His room

"Na-nani?" She asked in awe. He looked at her and her eyes blinked, she was just a one star after all, she wasn't used in seeing rooms like his.

"Stop drooling in my room." He said seriously. Mikan shook her head and turned around.

"Natsume-kun! KIRE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Natsume covered his ears in irritation.

"Uruse!" He replied. She looked at him and smiled, she didn't care what he said. But his room was fitted for royalty. A king sized bed of black sheets was in the middle that was placed on top of two stairs. Two huge windows beside it, a small table with a lamp next to it, two doors placed left and right of the room. The walls were painted light blue and the lights lighted brightly. She ran up to the right door and opened it, wow

What a kitchen and dinning room! The kitchen was inside a small circular place rounded by glass walls in the middle, the dinning table and chairs were made of fine wood and another door was in it. She walked right to it and saw the bathroom. It was pure white and a huge tub was in it.

"Kire! I've never seen any room like this!" She exclaimed. She turned her back then suddenly bumped into someone.

"Watch it little girl," a cold voice rang into her ears. She shook her head and smiled at him.

"Nartsume!" She exclaimed to him loudly. "You're room's awesome!"

"Tch," Natsume faced the other way. Mikan started to jump up and down before him excited.

"Natsume you're so lucky! I wish I had a room like this!" She exclaimed to him.

"Shut up," he mumbled under his breath. She didn't seem to hear and blabbered some more.

"It's sooo cool! Awesome, what'll I do just to have a room like this! My room is so small and boring! But you're room is so nice! I can't believe it, there is something good about this academy! You know what…"

"Shut up!" He shouted and it made her stop.

"Natsu-"

"One more word, or I'll burn you to ashes." He said. He looked down and his long bangs covered his eyes of sadness.

"But…Na…"

"I told you to shut up!" He shouted and ran out of the room, slamming the door into her face.

"I just…" She lowered her head. "Natsume…"

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"Eh?" Ruka mumbled and turned his head.

"What is it?" Hotaru asked impatiently. "Our feet won't walk ourselves you know."

The cold gust of the wind passed on both of them and Ruka just shrugged his shoulders.

"Nothing," he voice and faced her. "Don't worry. It's nothing, sorry."

Hotaru looked at him, he said it's nothing but his face sure didn't show it, she thought. The wind passed through the once more and Hotaru walked beside him.

"Hotaru?" He asked. Her hair slowly danced with the cold wind and she closed her eyes for awhile, trying to figure something out.

But for Ruka

She looked different

He blushed at this sight; a female teen was beside him, feeling the slow breeze of the wind pass her. _She looked like an angel," he thought. _

She had grown more feminine and her hair grew longer it reached her waist and she braided it. _(MK: If you know Toru from Fruit's Basket her friend Hanna, the one with the long black hair and violet eyes, she kinda looks like that now.)_

She's grown more beautiful and attractive

And above all, she's grown to make him smile

He blushed deeper red when she looked at him straight in the eye.

"What is it?" She asked and placed her hand over his forehead and looked at him with worried eyes. "You look red."

Ruka looked at her, she was inches away from his face and this may cause his nose to bleed.

"_She looks so…" He thought. "Nice…"_

"It's nothing!" He jerked out and turned his back.

Suddenly

He heard something he thought he'll never hear in his whole life

Something he thought was impossible.

He even thought that it was just a dream

But, it was true

"Nani…" He turned his head.

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Mikan slowly walked towards a wooden chair and sat herself on it. She sighed once more and played with the strands of her hair that dangled in mid air. She sighed once more and thought.

"_Why did Natsume said that? His tone of voice was different, before he would just piss me off now, it seems it hurt me. It hurts me deep." She thought with a sigh. "He may be a heartless person outside but inside, he was always there for me. I never got to repay him…"_

_FLASHBACK_

"_Natsume-kun!" A girl of he age of 11 ran after a certain boy. "Matte!"_

_The boy looked at her with cold eyes as she caught up with him. "What is it Polka-dots?"_

"_Hey!" The girl shouted at him and placed her hands beside her hips. "HOW many time to I have to TELL you I have a name! IT'S MIKAN!"_

"_Whatever," he said and turned his back. "I hate seeing you're ugly face. Go away."_

"_Hey, don't be so mean!" She shouted back. "I just…"_

"_Just what?" He asked and turned to her. "Something wrong?"_

"_Eto…" She looked at her feet and clasped her hands together. _

"_What the hell is it idiot?" Natsume asked impatiently. "What is it?"  
_

"_Well, I just want…"_

"_Want what?" He asked and looked at her intently. She looked a bit sad and her tone of voice was a little low for her. He sighed, walked to a tree and sat under its shade. She looked at him and he gasped, tears were streaming from her face. "Tch," he shook his head and patted the grass near him, signaling her to sit near him. She nodded and wiped her tears away and sniffed. She walked up to him and sat down. _

"_What the heck happened to you?" He asked with a hint of concern. "You're getting uglier if you do that."  
_

"_De-demo, Tsubasa-sempai…" She murmured and wiped her tears away once more. _

"_What the heck did that Andou guy do to you?" He asked and looked at her. She wiped endless tears over and over again and sniffed. _

"_He, he told me that…" She sniffed once more. _

"_That what?" He asked. She blinked her eyes for some time then broke into tears on his shoulder. _

"_Oh Natsume-kun!" She exclaimed and cried more and more. Natsume looked at her and sighed, he let her be. _

"_Calm down," he replied, "Crying won't solve anything."  
_

"_But, Tsubasa-sem…"  
_

"_Stop thinking about him for now and calm down." He sighed and patted her head softly. "Calm down." She sobbed like a small child lost in the middle of nowhere. Then, he felt her sobs subside. "Now," he said calmly. "Tell me what's wrong with you."  
_

"_Tsubasa-sempai said that he didn't like me back…" She murmured and sniffed. "He-he said he liked Misaki-sempai and that she's gone be his girlfriend."_

_Natsume sighed and placed his left hand above her left shoulder and pushed her to him more. _

"_Natsume…" Mikan's eyes widened and looked at him. _

"_So, you like him do you?" He asked. _

"_Ha-hai…" She gave him a timid nod._

"_Sometimes," he replied as he looked at the scenery in front of him, not at Mikan. Mikan smiled and placed her head on his shoulder. "The person you like isn't the perfect one for you." He sounded like an older brother calming down his younger sister. He sighed and continued, "But, you mustn't loose hope because, that person may just be around the corner. He may not take that of a long time to search you know."  
_

"_Natsume-kun…" She whispered to the wind and closed her eyes. _

"_He's just in your heart," he muttered. "Waiting for you."_

"_Hai," she smiled and nodded. "Arigato, Natsume-kun…"_

"_Tch," Natsume smirked and glanced at her. "I told you, didn't I? I listen sometimes too."_

_Mikan looked up to see a pair of ruby eyes watching her like she was a small child. His eyes looked so warm, yes, his handsome features added more._

_She felt so nice with him_

_It's always been like this_

_He's so warm_

"_Hai," she smiled and calm down. _

_He was always there for her_

_Even though at first he wouldn't show it_

_Whenever she was down, he was somewhere by the corner_

_Just waiting for her to run after him_

_And shout out_

"_Natsume-kun! Matte!"_

_Yeah, Natsume _

_He was always the shoulder she would cry on_

_He was always the person that'll protect her_

_He was always the person who'd piss her off_

_But, most of all_

_He was always a help to her_

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"Natsume…" She whispered, not she had her head rested on the wooden table. "I should've guest it, all of these things were here because he was a top star. He was a top star because he's gotten through almost everything that could've killed him." She smiled sadly. "After all these years, I thought I've finally got to understand the real Natsume, I've finally got a clue of what he really is. But, I guess I was wrong…" She turned her head and tangled her fingers in her hair.

_You were always there_

_To help with your hand_

_But till now I didn't see_

_What you've been through…  
_

"Nice voice there Polka-dots," a familiar voice rang in her head. She lifted her head and faced where it came from.

"Natsume!" She exclaimed. He had his back laid coolly on the solid wall.

He raised and eye brow and crossed his arms, "This is my room you know. You sounded too surprised to see me."

"Oh," she muttered. She stood up and faced her left, "Hey Natsume… I…"

"I don't want to hear one of your idiotic speeches." He replied coldly. "So don't try to say it."

"Hey!" Mikan shouted at him angrily. "I wasn't finish yet!"

"That's why I told you to shut up," he said and turned his back. "That'll take forever."

"Darn you Natsume…" Mikan growled.

"Tch," he glanced at her. "So, what are you waiting for?"

"Eh?" Mikan blinked her eyes several times. He sighed and walked out of the room.

"Just get out of there ok? We're looking for Ruka and Hotaru." And with that, he closed the door.

Mikan stared at the black brown door he just closed before her. She stared at it for some while then smiled.

"Natsume, arigato…" She mumbled and walked out of the room.

_After all these years_

_He has never changed_

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"Ne, Natsume!" Mikan exclaimed and closed the door behind her.

"What is it?" He asked and looked at her. She walked to his closets and opened it.

"Do you have a sweater that can fit me?" She asked as she went on rummaging in his clothes. "It's really cold outside and I need…"

"What are you talking about?" He asked and grabbed her wrist.

"Eh?" Mikan asked surprised and looked at him. He was staring deep into her eyes, she blushed from his action and asked. "Na-naze?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked again and pulled her closer that only inches were the space from their faces. "My alice is Fire, don't you worry Polka-dots."

"Natsume…" She murmured. He held her hand tighter and sighed.

"Hold on to me and everything will be all right, ok?" He asked and moved his face away from her.

"Ok!" She smiled.

"Let's go." He said, he held his door knob and turned it when.

"Natsume, matte!" Mikan shouted.

"What is it?" He asked impatiently.

"Arigato." She smiled and hugged him tight. Natsume's eyes widened from her act and his heart started to beat faster

_And she never fails to make_

_Him feel like that_

"What the…" He murmured.

"Arigato, you've always been there for me Natsume, arigato…" She uttered to him. He smirked and sighed.

"Whenever you need me little girl," he replied. She smiled lightly and let him go slowly. She looked at him smiling. He just nodded and headed for the door.

"Let's go little girl," he said and the door opened. She held unto his hand and said.

"We'll go together right?" She asked and blushed. He looked at her and smiled, it made her blush madly.

"Yeah," he replied and closed the door behind him. "We'll go together."

Mikan smiled and held his arm and placed her head on it

_  
Natsume was always there for me_

_Until now he's by my side_

_I just don't know why he's doing it_

_And I don't care what the reason may be_

_All I care about is that he's with me_

_And I'm safe and calm_

_Nothing can harm me _

_Because he's here_

_I don't care why_

_I'm just glad to be like this_

_And I don't know _

_Maybe, somehow_

_I've fallen in love with him_

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_A/N: Sorry people! I'm not the romantic type of person so forgive me! Well, just watch out and R&R!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	5. Rukakun

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: I hoped you guys liked the previous chap…

Song fic, sorta

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Chapter 5: Ruka-kun…

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"Ho-Hota-ta-taru?" Ruka mumbled as he blinked his eyes over and over again

Can this be happening?

Is this even true?

She, she was

Laughing, giggling softly

Before him…

"Hmmm," she stopped laughing and smiled at him.

Her smile was so warm and comfortable

_She was enough_

"_Hotaru…" He thought. "Maybe, just maybe_

_You're the…_

"Ruka-kun," she said softly to him. He blushed crimson red and his heart beat faster

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

_One I've been looking for_

_All this time_

"Na-naze?" He asked nervously.

"What, what do you think happened to Mikan and Natsume?" She asked him. Ruka's blush faded away from her question.

"I don't know either," his tone of voice sounded serious. "But, you know, I felt something bad earlier. I just can't explain it though."

Hotaru sighed and looked at her palms, "I hope her hair still full when we get out of this place."

Ruka smiled at her and placed his hand over her shoulder.

"Daijoubu." He muttered to her.

She turned around to see his soft and calm baby blue eyes watching her intently; those eyes can melt any girl on the spot right now.

"Ruka-kun…" She murmured and tried to stop the red fiery color reach her pale skin.

"I'm sure they're fine." He grinned at her coolly. "Natsume may like to burn her hair but, they'll grow right back, ne?"

Hotaru nodded and sighed. "I guess so." She turned her back as she felt her blood reach her pale cheeks and she can feel her heart beating faster.

She has never felt anything like this

Can it be possible?

_Ruka, is the person_

"Ne, Hotaru, daijoubu?" He asked her worried. She shook her head and placed her hands behind her back.

"It's nothing." She faced him, trying to hide the remaining faint line of pink on her face. "Let's go, ne?"

Ruka nodded and they went on walking.

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"Ne, Ruka-kun," Hotaru voiced while looking at her feet, making prints of her shoes on the snow.

"What is it Hotaru?" Ruka asked. Hotaru lifted her head and looked straight.

"What were you doing outside earlier?" She asked.

Ruka bent his head and asked, "Huh?"

"I mean," Hotaru sighed and continued. "We saw each other earlier ne? I mean, when I fainted earlier, what were you doing outside?"

"Oh, that." Ruka thought for awhile. "I was hurrying back to class. But then, when I saw you, I totally forgot where to go, especially when you fainted. Everything was already painted white!"

"Oh," Hotaru glanced at him for awhile. "You-you mean you got stuck with me, be-because I fainted?"

"NO! That's not it!" Ruka denied and shook his hands before her. "It's not that, it's not you're fault!"

"Uhm, whatever you say." Hotaru replied. Ruka sighed looked at her.

Something was different about her

Was she feeling well?

She sounded shy earlier

And why would she as a question like that

"Oh, that's good to hear," she said with a sigh.

She herself doesn't know what's going on

Inside her heart and mind

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_Hotaru's POV_

What the hell is happening to me?

I feel so sweaty and un me with Ruka

This isn't right!

Something isn't right here

And it's something to do with me

"What's wrong?" He asked me and neared me by an inch.

DAMN IT!

He shouldn't have done that

Shit!

"Oh, well, uhm…Err, Ru-ruka…" I muttered. Why the hell am I stuttering, this never happened before?

"Well what?" He asked me. I can feel his breath nearing me. Oh, I want to push him away from me, I feel so nervous!

But then again

I…I just want him to

"_Stay there"_

_Sometimes I want to push you around_

_Sometimes I want to kick you away_

_But sometimes I want to hold you in my arms_

_Never gonna let you go_

Dammit! Dammit!

I can feel the blood rushing up to my cheeks. Go away from me

"Hey, are you tired out or something?" He asked, backing away from me. I didn't know how I'll reply.

"Well, to tell you the truth…" I mumbled out. "Yeah." _Lame excuse, yes, I know…_

"Hmm," he thought for awhile. Suddenly, he walked before me and bent his back.

"Eh?"

_But, what is this really?  
Some kind of a joke?_

_What is this really?_

_I'm not used to this feeling…_

"Hop on." He offered. He bent down and stretched his hands to hid back. I was surprised, he shouldn't be doing this and besides

He's carried me already and that's enough

He'll just hurt himself

He's such a hero

Damn you

_Yeah, what is this feeling?_

_My heart just beats like a thousand horses_

_Mm, what is this feeling?  
I want to push you around_

_I want to kick your face_

_But then again_

_I'm reading your eyes_

_And going back to the last phase_

"What are you talking about Ruka-kun?" I asked and stepped backward. "Don't worry, I'm fine, I can walk on my own."

I am fine really, I just made up a darn excuse. And now, he's being a hero he is, again

_Early in the morning_

_I receive your messages_

_Oh I want to erase them_

_But, I want to keep them_

"No, it's ok Hotaru," he said in a soft tone. "It's ok, you're tired out while I feel fine. I can't just let a fair lady like you walk, can I?"

Shit, double shit

This is why I hate gentlemen

"Iie," I shook my head. "This is absurd Ruka-kun! I can't do it. You've carried me for such time now, you should be the one resting not me."

"No, it's ok." He steadied in front of me. "And besides, I won't let you carry me."

My eyes widened and my heart pumped faster, I felt like I was gonna get a heart attack

He was nice, gentle

Everything…

"Iie Ruka-kun," I lowered my head and my long hair swayed by the wind. "Don't be stubborn, I can walk, ok? It's fine. You don't have to worry about me too much. You've done enough and well…" I was speaking my heart out to him.

I never did this to that idiotic Mikan

Nor to Yuu, Anna or Nonoko

I also never though that

_But, what is this really?  
Some kind of a joke?_

_What is this really?_

_I'm not used to this feeling…_

I'll say this to him, he was the least expected person I thought I can speak my heart out

But, now, my heart is beating so fast, like a stampede of all the animals in the world.

"I don't want to be, a burden anymore." I said, almost like a whisper. I doubt it if he heard it, I was talking to the wind at that time, it was impossible for him to head it. Then, he stood up, FINALLY and dusted himself from the snow. Yeah, maybe it was cold kneeling to a stubborn girl like me

But really

I didn't want him to carry me anymore; I didn't want him to be a hero for me anymore.

What he done was enough and that's all I could ask

He'll just stumble while carrying me, he's always walking and it's been more than an hour. He'll get sick

I'm just too worried for him

_Yeah, what is this feeling?_

_My heart just beats, like a thousand horses_

_Mm, what is this feeling?  
I want to push you around_

_I want to kick your face_

_But then again_

_I'm reading you eyes_

_And going back to the last phase_

"Are you sure?" He turned to me and asked. I lifted my head and looked at him

His blue eyes were filled with worry, his tone showed worry as well. "Ne?"

I shook my head and placed my hand over my chest.

"Daijoubu, Ruka-kun." I said to him, but, I can't bear to look.

I just feel that somehow

"Whatever you say, Hotaru." He turned his back.

He's someone very special to me

"I'm fine." I said once more to him.

That's his eyes showed me something

"Ok, but tell me if there's something wrong, don't hesitate to ask." He said, not looking back at me.

"Mm," I nodded my head and we started walking.

Something I haven't seen before

"Ne, Ruka?" I asked.

Something that I've been looking for

"What is it?" He asked and glanced at me.

For a long time but I didn't know that I was looking for it

"A-arigato," I murmured.

And I was happy

"What?" He asked me.

That I got a chance to look into his eyes

"I said…Ariga-Ari-ga…. Never mind, sorry."

Because his eyes showed me the feeling

"Come on, you can tell me anything Hotaru."

I was willing to wait for

"Oh, don't worry about it Ruka-kun, well, uhm," I looked at the snow for awhile. I was calling him that as long as right now. I never noticed it until now, when this strange feeling crept into me. "Err… you don't mind me calling you that, right?"

He glanced at me and maybe he thought I was acting strange and all.

Because I think so too

SIGH

"No prob!" He answered in a cheery tune. I sigh heavily once more. I lifted my head and looked at his back. He's grown from he boy I've used to blackmail to this teen before me who carried me earlier. "And you don't mind me calling you, well, Hotaru-chan?"

I paused and I can feel light tint shade of pink forming on my cheeks. I wonder why, I feel like this

"Uhm, ok."

"That's good."

I wonder why, I'm stuttering like this

Why I feel nervous with him

Why I feel so happy with him

I wonder

"Hotaru-chan," he then called out.

"Hai?" I asked, but, I was still thinking deeply.

"Arigato."

"Nani?" I asked and my eyes widened. My heart started to beat fast again, like it was skipping several beats. I looked up to him and he was looking at me.

I blushed

DAMMIT

I hope he didn't notice it

"I said thanks," he smiled. "Because, well, with you being here, everything was ok."

"What the hell?" I blinked my eyes at him and he just shrugged his shoulder and turned his back again.

_But, what is this really?  
Some kind of a joke?_

_What is this really?_

_I'm not used to this feeling…_

Why the heck am I feeling this way?

This isn't like me at all

But then, he took my line

The idiot, I should be the one thanking

**Damn idiot**

Not because he saved me

Because he let me see deep into his eyes

I'm happy for that only reason

And I, I was happy to spend some time with him

I felt satisfied with him around

And I'm very happy for him to have shown me

That thing I have been looking for

"Arigato Ruka-kun." I finally said. He paused walking then, shook his head. I wondered why. I was looking at the snow underneath me when I looked up, I saw him glanced at me.

And I could swear

I saw a small tint of pink on his cheeks right there

I SWEAR

_Yeah, what is this feeling?_

_My heart just beats, like a thousand horses_

_Mm, what is this feeling?  
I want to push you around_

_I want to kick your face_

_But then again_

_I'm reading you eyes_

_And going back to the last phase_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_A/N: Sorry for the Nastumikan fans, this fic is for Rukaru fans but I know there are millions of NxM fans out there so I added their pairing too. There will be more Rukaru and Natsumikan chaps coming up next_

_TRIVIA_

_-this fanfic will not end when Hotaru and Ruka finally gets out of the blizzard thing. Nope, and it has something to do with a silver dragonfly given_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	6. My Blackmailer

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice

A/N: Hey guys, well, I guess Hotaru is a bit OCC in the last chap, it doesn't really suit her, but, let's see what's happening on Ruka's head, shall we?

Song fic too!  
**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Chapter 5: My blackmailer

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Ruka's POV

First of all, she was giggling at me

Now, she's acting like a shy puppy.

What the heck is wrong with you Hotaru?

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I looked at my feet, printing footprints on the snow. SIGH, this wasn't my day

But, I was wondering, wondering deeply, deeply about everything

And I dunno why, but, Hotaru made me feel

The same way I felt about Mikan years ago

She made my heart beat fast, real fast, she made me feel nervous, and she made me feel sweaty

Could I be?

I shook my head abruptly, I was thinking none sense, that could never be it!

Iie, that could never be it. I was a fool to think that

But then again…

I shook my head once more, she must think I'm an idiot for doing that the 2nd time. I glanced at her and I can feel my heart beat faster every second my eyes roamed her face, her head, and her (gulp) body. She looked like, like, a goddess.

She was looking at her right and her hair flew with the wind, she had her hands on her chest and she small smile placed on her face. She looked beautiful. Her eyes looked warm and calm, her smile was remarkable. She's crowding my head!

And, I don't understand why…

"Doshite, Ruka-kun?" Her voice ran to my head. I blinked my eyes and saw her staring at me, right at my blue eyes. She had her hand closed over her lips and an innocent look on her face. She was like an angel…

"Well, I-uh, uh….well, err, I uhm…" I blushed furiously at her and turned my head. "Nandemonay!"

"Eh?" She asked worriedly. She walked to my side and looked at me. "Daijoubu, Ruka-kun?"

I blushed more at this and felt my heart beat faster. I shook my head and started to walk like a robot, what an idiot.

"Nothing!" I exclaimed to her. She must think I really look like an idiot. "It's ok."

She sighed and walked in front of me; she stopped and turned to me. I BLUSHED, I feel so warm and fuzzy with her right now. I don't even have the foggiest clue why!

"Come on now Ruka," she said emotionlessly. "Tell me. I'm not an idiot you know."

I shook my head over and over again, crossed my hands like an x and said, "I'm fine, don't worry!"

"Huh?" Now, she looked rather surprised at me. "Sure, whatever you say."

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes for awhile. I opened them and I almost fainted to death

Imai Hotaru, I swear you could kill me right now…

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_5 months ago…_

"_Good morning class," Mitsuki-sensei, a new teacher greeted as he entered the classroom. He has long auburn hair and blue eyes with glasses. He walked into the middle and smiled. _

"_Ohayo gozaimasu, Mitsuki-sensei." The students replied and stood up. He nodded and told them to go back to their seats. _

_They all sat down when suddenly, the door burst open and a raven haired girl stepped in. _

"_Imai-san?" Mitsuki-sensei asked surprised. Could she be late? That never happened. _

"_Go-gomen sensei," she replied and bowed her head. "I'm late."_

"_Imai?" Mitsuki-sensei blinked his eyes several times. "You, you're late?" _

_The whole class looked startled. She was never late, she can never be late. The whole class started to murmur and talk about her. She can never be late, that wouldn't be Imai Hotaru for sure. _

"_Tell me, I must be dreaming," he said to her. Hotaru sighed and looked at him with her cold piercing eyes. She had her hair reach 10 inches from her waist. _

"_Eto…" A male voice came from behind Hotaru. Then, a figure stepped out._

"_Nogi?" Mitsuki's eyes widened. Ruka lowered his head and tried to explain. _

"_Err, gomenasai sensei, demo…" He murmured. _

"_Demo?" Mitsuku's eye brow rose. "Naze, Ruka?"_

"_Sensei," Ruka sighed and looked straight to his teacher's eyes. "I, it was… It was…"_

"_Because of me." Hotary butted in. _

"_Of you?" Both men said in unison. Hotaru nodded and stepped a little forward to her teacher. _

"_Hai," she nodded. Though the same cold look in her eyes and non-caring gesture. "It's my fault."_

"_Na-nani?" Everyone said in unison. _

"_You, Imai? Are you joking us?" Mitsuki asked with sarcasm. Hotaru shook her head. "And, if you are late, what does it have to do with Nogi Ruka. Is there something more going on with you two?"_

_Ruka's face turned do deep crimson red and all his fan girls hissed at Hotaru. Hotaru didn't change her look. _

"_Iie, that's an idiotic answer," she replied to him. Mitsuki looked shocked and asked._

"_Ok, why?" _

"_Because, I have no time for those stupid acts," she walked to her seat. She looked at the teacher again and Ruka, "I know that you know me, Mitsuki-sensei. So don't ask me stupid questions."_

_Mitsuki, being a patient teacher, just sighed and shrugged it off. He fixed his glasses and looked at Ruka. "Nogi, you have anything to say?"_

_Ruka looked at Hotaru, she was still standing and was looking directly to him. He felt shivers run down in his spines then, she showed him something and it made him blush._

_It was a small, faint smile on her pale skin. It made him blush 50 shades of red and the teacher noticed this. _

"_Is there something wrong Nogi?" He asked and neared him. Ruka shook his head and Mitsuki just raised and eyebrow. _

"_Whatever you say," he crossed his arms and sighed. "You may go to your seat."_

_Ruka nodded and quickly walked back to his seat and both he and Hotaru sat down. Mitsuki sighed and decided not to ask about it any further, he might get a heart attack out of this. _

_Ruka was still in deep thought though, why the hell would Hotaru do that? Saving him from being late, because, he's been late for a week now and he's gonna be suspended for 2 weeks if he was late this time. He sighed and gazed at Hotaru. _

"_Imai-san, why?" He asked. He looked beside him and saw an empty seat. "He must be out, in a 2 day mission." He gazed at Mikan's chair and saw it was empty as well. "She must have her training." He sighed and shrugged everything off. _

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After all that, I still have no idea why she said that lie. I remember clearly that, she saved me that day not only once but twice!

"Something bothering you?" She asked me. I seemed to be spacing out big time. I shook my head and sighed.

"I-iie," I said uneasily to her. She was making me feel uncomfortable and we only had inches of space between us. We were walking side by side. "Don't worry."

"You sure?" She asked as she blinked her eyes. I managed to smile, even though I feel like it's ironically done and nodded.

"Don't worry." I repeated. "Thanks though." She didn't reply to that, I know that she isn't the talkative. I just went with the flow and sighed. Then, something suddenly came out of my mouth

Unexpected

"So, what happened to Xiao Rune?"

SHIT!

Double shit!

I felt her stop and I did the same. I looked at her and her eyes were wide open.

DAMN IT!  
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_A/N: Well, I don't want to continue it and I'll be thinking more about the next chapters! Just wait and find out!  
_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	7. My Blackmailer and I

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Hey people, here's the next chapter and enjoy! (Rated T for the words…)

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

Chapter 7: My Blackmailer and I

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"_So, what happened to Xiao Rune?" I asked. _

_SHIT!  
_

_Double shit!  
_

_I felt her stop and I did the same. I looked at her and her eyes were wide open. _

_DAMN IT!_  
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

She stopped at her tracks and looked at me, I saw the pain in her eyes, though, there were no tears.

"Wha-what?" She asked me with a slight shiver in her voice.

"Nothing," I shook my head and walked, pretending I didn't say a word.

It was the time I realized I was an idiot…

A **REALLY BIG** idiot…

As I walked, I felt she didn't follow me, though, I knew she was still close by. I stopped though, I didn't have the strength to turn and face her, especially her eyes.

Why did he come to my head anyway?

The incident that occurred with him and Hotaru are over! All over! All of that happened 5 months ago, when we both got late that they. It was my fault, and it had something to do with Xiao Rune

For all I know, he didn't deserve her

And that's why we were late that day

It was his fault

All his _fault…_

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_Minutes before the Mitsuki-sensei thing…_

"_Dammit! I'm going to be late! SHIT!" I said as I felt my blonde hair and my face fill with sweat. I ran as fast as I could and went to different directions. It wasn't really a big deal if I got late right, I would always cut classes and be late because of Natsume. Well, not now. _

_I'd get suspended if I get late this time, which is something I care about! My grades are failing, real low! Before I didn't usually care but this time everything changed for some reason. Natsume's out on his mission so I've got no excuse to be late. _

_SHIT!_

_I panted, I sweat, I can feel my legs want to stop there but I can't! _

_DAMMIT!_

_Suddenly, I was going up one more stair and I'll be in class when I heard something which made me stop_

"_Let go!" A female voice shouted. I stopped for awhile._

"_I know that voice," I said as I turned my head slowly. "I'll never get that voice out of my head." _

_Then, my eyes were wide open of what I saw_

_She, my blackmailer, was there, having her back rested on a tree with a teenager of 13 as well before her, his arms beside her head. He has short raven hair and piercing golden eyes. _

"_Imai-san?" I asked. She looked uncomfortable with him and I know for sure she won't go out with a guy like him. I walked three stairs downward and saw the guy clearly. _

_I know him! He's Xiao Rune, the next popular guy after Natsume and me. He's got the attitude as Natsume and an ice alice. I know I've heard different rumors that he likes Imai-san and like that, like this. I never thought it'll be true_

_But, I don't like what he's doing to her._

"_Don't worry," he's voice didn't sound good, it sounded very, sly. _

"_Shut up Xiao Rune," Imai, as always, said in a cold tone. Xiao Rune smirked and neared Imai-san's face. **I wanted to boil him right there. **Even though Imai-san wasn't the one I liked back then, she was still a friend to me. No matter what, the years that passed showed me how much she's been a help. _

_**I felt my anger rising as he smirked and that their noses were only a few centimeters apart. **_

"_Shit," I said and ran down the stairs. _

"_Get away from me Xiao Rune!" Imai-san shouted. He smirked and planted something on her that broke something important to her. _

"_Shit," I murmured as my tracks stopped. "Double fucking shit."_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her _

_He kissed her_

_He kissed her LIPS!_

_Those words repeated over and over again in my head which made my anger rise to the very top. I clenched my fist when suddenly… _

"_Get away from me!" Imai-san finally broke the kiss as she panted for air. Xiao Rune smirked as he held his hair. _

"_Whoa, you're a very nice kisser, Hotaru." He said with that shit of a fucking sly grin. _

_Hotaru turned to him angrily and slapped him. _

_I managed a smirk there. _

"_Shut up, you one heck of an asshole." She said coldly to him. "Don't ever go touching me bastard." Her eyes suddenly became soft and sad. She wasn't ready for it, she wasn't._

"_Hmph!" He smirked once more and faced her. "I'd get one more if I want, you bitch." _

_FUCK, he shouldn't have said that_

_I walked to him angrily and held his wrist when he was about to hold Imai-san's._

"_Hey, what the hell?" He asked irritated and turned to him. "What is it ass hole?"_

"_The academy doesn't need shit of a bastard like you," I reply with a glare. His anger rose and muttered. _

"_You big piece of shit!" He was about to punch me when I evaded easily. He wasn't much of a fighter I thought he was, I thought. He then aimed to his stomach and punched it. He evaded it with his arms crossed by I jumped a little and managed to kick his waist. He winced though he didn't give up. I looked at Imai-san, she had her eyes wide open from shock as she felt her lips. I felt angrier and ran to him. _

"_Arrgh! YOU ASSHOLE!" I shouted and punched his face and kicked his stomach. He fell to the ground._

"_Worthless piece of filth," I said to him. "Don't you ever think of doing something to Imai-san or else." I turned my back. "You bastard, I'll kill you if that happens. Good thing I still have a small pity left or else I would've killed you right now."_

_I turned to Imai-san and offered her a hand. She was staring blankly somewhere_

_I felt somewhat, sorry for her. _

_But, I smiled and she took it. I placed my hand over her shoulder and smiled, "It's ok, and it's all right now. Don't worry."_

_She didn't reply. Someone stole her first kiss forcibly and to think she was a girl, "I'm sorry."_

_She just shook her head and walked before me. "It's useless thinking about those things." She stopped and looked at me. "Let's go, we're late already."_

_I smiled in my though, I'm happy it didn't seem to affect her that much. I looked at the shit behind me getting up and I smirked. "Remember what I said," I said to him and ran with Hotaru back to the room. _

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Now you know who the hell Xiao Rune is. He was the bastard that planted something on Hotaru and he can never give it back. I want kill him, after that, he was still admitted to the school. Good thing he knows not to touch Hotaru anymore or else, he'll be so sorry we wished he was never born.

But then again,

I shouldn't have asked her that, should I?

But I didn't have the strength to face her or even turn my head to her

I felt so guilty

Suddenly, foot prints could be heard walking near to me.

Sometimes, I wish I could just disappear.

And an example is right now, I wish I could vanish into thin air

"Ruka?" She called out my name with a cold tone. "Ruka?"

I lowered my head and waited for her to speak again.

"It's ok," she said with her normal tone. "You didn't really have to react like that."

Still, I decided not to reply, maybe something stupider might come out of it.

"Hey, come one now." She told me. "It's ok, so stop with the drama."

I won't reply…

She sighed heavily and waits a minute pass by. Then, "Why the hell are you thinking of that bastard anyway?"

……..

"What? Xiao Rune, he's from my past," she replied. "Those 5 months is history so, don't bother your head about it." She paused and I waited her to say more. "To tell you the truth, I never liked the kiss." She sighed once more and gazed at me, I didn't look back.

"But, you know what?" She waited for me, though; I was worried of what I might say again to her. She waited for awhile and then sighed once more. "I never got to say thanks for what you did. I'm grateful that you didn't make much of what happened or even told Natsume about it. I'm happy you went with what I said with Mitsuki-sensei. And most of all," her tone become gentle, "I'm obliged to know you were there to help."

I can feel my cheeks burn and blush deep. I was somewhat happy of what she said. She made me feel better, different and happy. She made me feel a way I felt so much special in her eyes. Like, there was more than her being my friend

Yeah, I know

Just like that.

I smiled and lifted my head. I looked at her and she was looking straight at me.

I just can't help but blush

Now I know why she had many suitors

She's beautiful, talented and most of all

She'll do the most unexpected things

At the right time

And that's what made her what she is

Imai Hotaru

"So, what?" She asked back to her normal tone. Shook my head and looked forward, I saw white all white (sigh)

"Err…" I said when I spotted a tree, well, it doesn't have leaves anymore but it will be a good resting place, I thought. I looked at Hotaru and she might be quite tired right now.

"What about a rest?" I asked her. She looked straight and nodded.

"Sounds nice," she said. I smiled and giggled a bit. She raised an eye brow and just shrugged it of.

"Let's go then," I said as we walked…

She made me feel a way

A way that made me feel special and very grateful God made me

She made me smile and be happy in the most unexpected way

She made me somewhat like fluttering in the air with a butterflies

She made me feel nervous, uneasy, sweaty

But, she made me fine as well

She made me feel different

She made me feel

Like I meant someone to this world

Not only the Black Cat's best friend or something like that

She made me feel Nogi Ruka

Just simple Nogi Ruka

And I'm very, very, very glad she made me feel this way

I can feel my heart beat faster whenever you're around

Will it be?

Could it be?

Could it…

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_A/N: Hello peoples, I updated fast this time! Well, I'm happy with the results of my grades and wait for more!  
_

_Ja ne!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	8. I need your help!

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: What pairing will it be this time? Read and VOTE!

AUTHOR NEEDS HELP!

I want you guys to vote from the following pairings:

a. NatsumexMikan

b. RukaxHotaru

c. AnnaxKokoroyomi

d. TsubasaxMisaki

Please pick from the following:

I'll be there

One second of Refrainment

Love is Changing

In the quiet night

_Arigato mina-san! Please vote so I know what pairing I'll do next. _

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	9. Flames I

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Hey peoples! Thanks for the votes I really appreciate them and don't worry for those pairings that are not chosen, I'll try to make up with it somehow! Now this pairing is for reader's choice…

Pairing: NatsumexMikan

Song: I'll be there (English version)

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Chapter 9 (or 8): Flames I

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

_You were always there, the person I needed to comfort_

_To make you smile_

_To make you laugh_

_To make you irritated_

_To make sure you're safe_

_You always thought I was the one that you needed_

_You never knew how much change went into me_

_And I'm very happy I found you_

_And I'll make sure you're safe, happy and contented_

_And to do that_

_I'll make sure you won't get closer to me_

_So you wouldn't have to see the darkness inside_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_Let's do lots of_

_happy things and fun things together._

_Linked hand in hand_

_Exchanging promises_

"Natsume?" I heard her whisper. I held on her hand tight with fire balls dancing around us while we walk.

"Hn," I replied with a no care voice.

"Thank you," she responded.

"Thanks for what?" I asked. She lifted her head and smiled as she looked at the belt of fire balls I had made just to make it warm.

"For this, for everything." She replied. "I wouldn't have gone this far if I haven't met you."

"Stop with the mushy stuff," I said and sighed. _You don't know how thankful I am to find you…_

She chuckled and nodded. "Ok, whatever."

I sighed and placed my right hand over my chest. I've always had this feeling I should protect her, keep her safe from harm, and give her anything that would make her the happiest female in the world.

_When you're lonely, when you're hurting_

_Don't face your sorrow alone._

_Know that I'll always_

_Be there with you, without fail._

She keeps thanking for always being by her side, comforting her when the world seems to fall around her, protecting her. She just doesn't know how I feel.

But then again…

"Natsume?" She called for my name.

"Hn." I replied as calm as I can get.

"Are you feeling fine?" She asked me with a worried tone. "I mean, these flames around us, wouldn't that…"

"Shut up," I replied and pulled her hand a little bit. "Mind your own business." I knew one time she's gonna ask me that.

"But Natsume, I'm just worried." She voiced. "I just don't want you to…"

"Tch," I replied and looked intently at her. Her eyes showed the feeling or weariness and worry. I didn't want her to feel like that. She somewhat

Made her way to my heart

I shook my head fiercely and gazed at her.

"I won't die here ok?" I said assuring her it was ok. It was all for her, I'll do anything for her, for her happiness, for her sake.

"Iie," she shook her head and turned around, heading back. "It's better if we go back."

"Naze?" I asked her. "What the hell are you thinking?" She keeps dragging me to things I don't want to do.

She looked at me and lowered her head, "I know it's a bother getting you here and just pulling you back. But I'm just worried for you, I know that I…"

"Listen," I told her with a firm voice. "I won't let anything happen to you, to me, to Ruka and Hotaru. I told you that we'll be looking for them, and that's what we're gonna do."

"But Natsume…" She bit her lower lip. "Your alice, remember? If you keep using it, it will reduce your life span, who knows maybe…"

Yeah, she's right. I've been under the academy for 3 years and yet I can't seem to just die and fade away. I wonder why…

Before, I've always wanted to die, to forget about this damn world, I can never forgive myself for what I've done to my own town

_Strength is a very important thing,_

_But you need tears too._

_With a parched, dried-up heart,_

_You can't do anything at all;_

_You can't feel a thing._

Then, I met Ruka, my mere companion, I was happy he was always there

But, because of that, I had he stronger urge to die and fade away

My eyes were locked at him at all times, I saw him suffer the pain that was only meant for me. The pain that I was supposed to keep locked inside, the darkness I was the only one to see.

I could never forgive myself for what I did to him. He walked to me one day, reaching his hand out for me, asking for a friend. I took it and made sure he was always content. I knew I shouldn't have done that, I made him suffer; I let him see the darkness I never should've opened up to him in the first place.

"Tch, will you stop worrying about me and start worrying about yourself once in awhile?" I asked her. She looked back at me and her auburn orbs seemed to show the feeling of surprise.

"But, Natsume-kun…" She lowered her head and started to cry. She was always like this, like the first time I've seen her in the academy. She can't control her emotions; she just lets them free, flowing freely. Tch, that's why she's so weak and vulnerable,

That's why I'm here

But I have to make a line between, but, she's such and idiot. Every time I draw the line, she keeps on stepping on it and walks toward me. She just doesn't know how guilty I feel if she sees that darkness I've been trying to hide all these years.

"I just (sob), I just, (sob) don't want you… (sob) so feel this (sob) wa-way…I don't want (sob) You to-to (sob) die…" She said with sobs. She has always cared for me no matter how many times I push her away.

"Oh shut up," I murmured to her. Her eyes widened and looked at me. "I don't need your care or your help." I know that what I'm saying won't make her feel better even one bit. But for me, seeing her at a distance away from me is fine. That's what I've always intended to do. "So shut up," I made my voice clear and firm to her.

_Tell me, why do people_

_Hide what they really feel inside?_

_Take what you can do, what you want to do,_

_One step at a time._

"But I…" She whispered. I turned my back to her and replied.

"I don't need anyone's help. Remember that." I told her never wanting to see those damn brown eyes of hers.

"Natsu-…"

"I told you to shut up!" I shouted at her. I heard her gasp and walk backwards. "I don't need anyone's help, care or anything they'll offer me. I live my life alone, I never needed anyone's help. I stand on my own, I'm a black cat."

I knew that those words went straight to her heart, like flying darts attacking a timid prey. I wasn't that happy about it either.

A part of me smiled at those words I told her, I knew this was the right thing to do. I don't want her to end up like Ruka, no matter how hard she tried to go in me. I'm satisfied in just seeing her in a distance away from me. That's all I wanted

"But, I just wanted…"

"I never needed or asked right? So, just shut up and let my live my own."

I knew that I hurt her as much as it hurts me, but there's nothing I can do anymore. I've said those words, I've said those lies. If I hadn't done those things in the academy, if I wasn't the black cat, everything would be different from how things are right now.

But, those were only ifs… They all happened in reality and I can't change that right? I can never look back and see my past revolving around me again. I can never do that, it's impossible. Even the top students in the technical type haven't got a clue hot to start making those time machines and few alices here have that kind of alice.

_I love the way you don't care_

_How you have been programmed to live._

_I would follow you anywhere._

_I will never, ever, let go of you._

It's really hard to live in this world

You like the was things were already

"What are you saying!" I heard her sobs and cries many times now.

"Are you deaf or is your brain really that small not to even process simple words I've said." I replied and my bangs covered my eyes.

"You're such a jerk you know that!" She said as her tears fell from her auburn eyes freely.

Then something better comes up before you

But you can't change those things in the past anymore

I walked in front of me but I didn't bother to look back at her. I saw the tears that she shed fall to the ground.

"Why?" She asked me in a solemn voice. "I've always done everything for you to smile, but for once you never returned the favor!"

"It's because I never wanted to smile!" I shouted at her. She stopped with a soft gasp that released from her lips.

"Natsu-"

"I never wanted to smile, to laugh and to feel like what the normal person feels. Those damn feelings make one feel weak and vulnerable. I never want to be weak, with those feelings, a person always need someone to cling on and hold on for the whole life. That isn't what I wanted to end up."

But, you want to make that person happy

And the only way you know

"Naze? Natsume-kun… I don't understand…" She replied gently.

Is to push that person away from you

Away from your mysterious past, the darkness inside you

"You'll never understand me." I replied and clenched my fists.

"How could I understand if you won't tell me!" She shouted.

"I never asked you to understand me, did I?" I asked her back. She paused and I can feel the slight tremble in her body.

Even though it hurts you and that person

You know it's the right thing

"Why are you always like that!" She shouted with tears flowing more rapid. "I hate you! YOU JERK!"

Suddenly, the flames around us disappeared. I lifted my heard and looked left and right. The fire I made was gone. I looked at her and she was angry with tears. Her nullifying must have triggered my fire to stop, it's controlled by her emotion/

"I HATE YOU NATSUME!" She shouted to the whole world and ran away from me.

"Wait, you idiot!" I said and reached out my hand but she was too stubborn to even listen. She kept running and running until I can't see her back anymore.

That person is too precious for you, too priceless

That's why you'll let her slip away from you

"I'm sorry."

Just to make sure that person sees the light

And happiness really meant for him/her.

_Tell me, why do people_

_hide what they really feel inside?_

_Take what you can do, what you want to do,_

_one step at a time._

_I love the way you don't care_

_how you have been programmed to live._

_I would follow you anywhere._

_I will never, ever, let go of you._

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_A/N: That's just the first half guys; I wanted to see you're reactions and comments so I can do better. Please review! The song doesn't end there ok!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	10. Flames II

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and here's the continuation!

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

Chapter 10: Flames II

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

_Alas, I saw you slowly fading from my view_

_Running far away from me_

_I smiled half in me_

_What I've wanted to happen_

_Showed itself to me_

_But then, I had this sudden urge_

_To go after her_

_And say I'm sorry_

_I shook my head, I'll let her be_

_Suddenly I found myself running as well_

_Shouting her name across the land_

_Wishing I had never said those words to her_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_I love this excitement;_

_Let's make it grow._

_I can honestly believe_

_In this power I see._

"BAKA!" I shouted as I ran in the snowy field. Shit, she's such a pain! SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN. But, she has always been _my _pain, _my _idiot, _my _strength…

She never knew how much she made a difference in me, she never saw those changes I've gone through

She still thinks I'm the old Natsume she saw, that she hasn't changed me a bit,

And she keeps pushing herself in me, like its part of her job

And with that, she slowly looks at the dim flickering lights around me

I will never forgive myself, if she sees the pain, the agony I went through

I had enough; I caught everything that was supposed for everyone to feel

I felt like Christ for this time, but I guess I can never be God

"Ne, Kami-sama?" I murmured under my breath. "Sakura!" I shouted her last name. I can feel the worry rise up to my head, I felt crazy, so crazy. "Dammit! Why can't you see it, damn you little girl!"

Suddenly I stopped; I can't feel my legs right now. I trembled slowly; I can feel my strength suddenly disappear in me. I shook my head and knelt in the snow, I gathered what was left and tried to stand up.

"Argh!" I scowled to myself. Dammit Natsume, this is not the time! I tried to stand up, but I can't feel anything. It's like my veins weren't there.

Please God, I need to go on

For her

I did everything for her

I changed everything for her

What the hell is happening!

My lips were pale blue and I can see my breath escape from my lips. My eyes were hazed up so bad, my vision was blurry. I walked stepped by step, my fingers trembling slowly as it touched my pale features. My alice's eating up my life.

"Mi-Mikan…" I murmured. "Please, co-come ba-back…"

I didn't know what was going on, I walked slowly though my eyes didn't help me at all. This cannot be happening

She meant everything to me

I can't let her go just like that

No…

My eyes were almost visionless, my legs were trembling and my warmth was disappearing. I couldn't go on anymore, this was it.

I fell on the snow, looking at the sky, I can't go on

I felt like a rock

"Aah!" I yelled and angrily pushed some snow from the ground. "Dammit!" I shouted out loud, so loud I hoped she's hear me somehow. I turned my hands into fists and gave the snow a good blow from my hands.

My eyes brows crossed and my eyes were piercing through anything. I can't feel myself anymore, nor can I hear myself shouting in the snow while kneeling on it. I don't know what's gone into me

I just can't be myself without her

Mikan, where are you?

I kept shouting, shouting aloud, anticipating she's head me somehow, I kept torturing the snow, pushing them away, punching or even melting them on my hands. I want to see her badly every second of my cursed life

"Dammit! MIKAN WHERE ARE YOU!" I shouted. I can feel hot tears form on my eyes. I couldn't take it anymore

It was damn cold, it was freezing

Who the hell knows where she was or if she could ever survive this coldness with her alice

I needed her to be safe even if it costs my life, my death

I'd give her anything

She was everything to me and I'd rather be the one to vanish

Than her to be the sacrifice

"Why!" I faced the snow and I saw my tears fall. I'm not the old Natsume everyone knew

Thanks to her

I know I should hate her for it

But I couldn't

I never thought that the world I tried to run away from

Could make me feel this way

"Why her?" I asked softly as my tears kept flowing. "Why did it have to be her? Why not me?" I asked.

I can't feel my body anymore, I can't budge a bit. My eyes shot widen and I felt my whole body trembling, trembling hard. I can see my breath clearly and I can feel the coldness run through my body. I shivered as my spine did the same. My tears stopped and I felt my heart thump faster, like it was gonna burst out in front of me

"No-no…" I muttered and placed my right hand over my chest. "No- no, no-not know…" I fell on the snow still clutching on my chest. "Ple-please… she needs me now."

"No…" I murmured. I tried to keep my vision tacked but my heart beat faster, like there was no tomorrow. Dammit, I can't felt my legs, my head's getting heavier for some reason.

"Aah!" I turned to my left and intended to stand up, barely my right arm for support. Dammit, I'm now gonna make it

Thump!

I fell lying on the snow again. I can't feel my legs and I can feel my arms slowly fading away from my touch. "Urgh…" I whispered when suddenly I felt my lips tremble hard. "Aah!"

My heart

It hurts…

It hurts so much

It hurts, to much to bear….

_Let's kiss. Let's hold each other._

_Let's feel each other's warmth_

_We don't need words_

_We can feel the passion._

"Aah!" I shouted louder, please Mikan hear me. Look at me; I'm lying here half dead but still my mind searching to where you may be.

"AaH!" I felt death nearing me so slowly, giving me pain. I can feel my heart beat faster like it's gonna burst out. God, it hurts.

"Jesus Christ!" I shouted and my brain suddenly felt like it fall of from its place. It hurts… my body hurts so much

But through all this, she's the one in my head

Even though I can feel it almost vanish

Even through the feeling my heart wants to burst

She's still the on in it

Why?

"Mi-mikan…" I murmured. I suddenly felt my tears forming through my eyes, I can feel death near me, like it was only 3 steps away from me. Suddenly, my heart beat was faint; even I can no longer hear or feel it. My whole body was numb and I can feel the snow covering it slowly as it started to fall again.

"Is my heart still beating?" I had the verge to ask myself. My vision was blurry; I felt I was turning blind. My brain felt like it didn't function and can't function any more. My eyes were half lidded, my whole body was numb and cold, my heart can't even beat anymore and my head felt like air.

But my tears still flowed through all these, and these were all because of her

My tears kept flowing; I never thought I'd miss my life once I'm away from it

She made my life turn for once in a life time

My tears are for her, they are all for her

I can feel my body stop moving at all, my heartbeat getting fainter every second and the snow starting to cover my head. I can't move my fingers

I'll just wait for my death as it nears me

I'll wait for it patiently

But why are my tears still flowing?

I smiled one more time and closed my eyes

It was the end…

I was glad I've met her

"Thanks for everything, Mikan…" My eyes were closed and I awaited whatever may happen, "Thanks for the life…"

Suddenly, I felt nothing in me move

Nothing…  
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_We were born to meet,_

_Crossing over a very long time._

_Now more than ever,_

_the excitement spinning through my heart 1_

_can't be stopped by anyone._

"NATSUME!" A female voice screeched out loud with hot tears forming from her auburn eyes. She wanted to erase the harsh picture from her head. She shook it over and over again, wishing everything was a dream, a bad dream, never going to be a reality.

"NO NATSUME!" She shouted the name again. But nothing came to reply, not even a single movement. She bit her lower lip and ran to the cold body almost covered with snow. She knelt and her arms spread apart slightly.

"Natsume?" She smiled. She wrapped her arms around his head and placed it on her chest. "It's me Natsume, don't worry."

But, nothing came to reply

Not every the faintest voice

"Natsume?" Her voice trembled slightly as she swung her body left and right, as if cradling him. "Don't worry, I'm here already Natsume."

She was sounding like a total maniac

But this was for her, that's why he was lying there

Because he nodded to her stupid asking for them to look for their friends

"Natsume, listen," she neared her head to his and started to cry. Her hot tears fell on his head as she watched his face with pain. "I'm here already. Please don't go, I've waited…"

Still no reply

Her heart suddenly burst crying as her tears ran through faster

She placed his head on his lap caressing his head with her soft fingers

"It's me Natsume, please wake up…" She trembled as those words escaped from her mouth. Her fingers ran through his handsome features, she smiled a bit. She has longed to see him sleeping

"But I wanted you to wake up too…" She whispered to him, hoping he could hear her.

"Please Natsume," she could not hold back her tears anymore. Her heart was crying, she was in pain.

"God, I'd give anything…" She murmured. "Please, not Natsume. Let it be me not Natsume!" She shouted and hugged his body tight. Crying like there was no tomorrow for her.

"Natsume I need you!" She screamed and cried.

She wanted to die as well

She wanted to suffer with him

She wanted to feel lifeless with him

She wanted to be like him

Natsume… I love you… please wake up

She cried and cried, cried

Hoping her tears could somehow reach his heart and wake up

"Please Natsume…" She cried over and over again. She felt her heart break and break endlessly. She was sad, she was lonely without him. How she longed to see him everyday was beyond anyone's comprehension. She needed him more than anyone, he was everything to her

He was her life

He showed her the reality she was never brave enough to face

He protected her from everything she hated

He showed her that life wasn't always fantasies of dream land

But he showed her he could pass them all

She cried, feeling her eyes swell from all the tears she's shed, she felt as though they were not enough.

He meant everything for her

For some reason, she liked the way he teased her

She liked the was he acted as though he didn't care

She was always the fragile one for him

"But with all you had, you stayed with me," she cried. "You didn't have to do that!"

"Seeing you alive was enough…" She murmured close to his ears. "I wish I could die with you…"

Suddenly, a pair of warm arms wrapped around her

And her tears stopped

_Tell me, why don't people_

_Realize their true feelings?_

_Even though the things they like, the people they love_

_are all that matters._

_If we cover up our feelings, or pretend we don't see_

_nothing will change,_

_so let's live openly frankly, honestly,_

_our eyes looking far to the future._

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"Stop crying…" A shaky voice ran through her ears. She was too shocked to say anything but

She felt relieved

"Natsume!" She shouted and embraced those warms arms back. "Natsume!"

She cried over and over again

She called out his name over and over again

He was glad

"Ssshh…" He rubbed her back softly. "It's alright now…"

_I heard what you said_

_I could never let you die with me_

_And I'll do everything to stop that from happening_

_Hmm…_

_You big idiot_

_My big idiot…_

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_Tell me, why do people_

_hide what they really feel inside?_

_Take what you can do, what you want to do,_

_one step at a time._

_I love the way you don't care_

_how you have been programmed to live._

_I would follow you anywhere._

_I will never, ever, let go of you._

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_A/N: That's a wrap everyone! Wait for the next chapter and R&R!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	11. Leaving the snow

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: since it's time, we'll end it now…

(oh yeah, sorry Anime Avenger If I took too long to update!)

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Chapter 11: Leaving the Snow

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The snow fell hard on both of them

But it seems that being in each others company has lowered the level

They smiled

"Ne, Ruka-kun…" A soft voice made a certain blonde's head turn.

"Do-doshite?" He asked a bit nervous. He felt he's grown close to her in the mere time they were together. He felt those were years.

Hotaru looked at him with her pair of beautiful violet eyes; her long raven hair flew with the whispering wind as she stretched her hand to his face.

"Ho-hotaru?" He asked shocked as a rat. He blushed 50 shades of red and gulped. Hotaru smiled at him and this made him blush deeper.

"Don't worry," she pulled her hand away. "Ok?"

"(gulp) Ok…" Ruka whispered. How the hell was she making him feel this way?

"Uhm," she murmured under her breath. "Ruka-kun, I was just wondering…"

"Wondering what?" He asked as he blinked his light blue eyes. "Don't worry, you could tell me anything." He smiled.

She sighed and placed her hands behind her back and looked straight at him, her orbs seem to be shaking and he blushed at this situation

_God, she looked like a Goddess_

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_God, she looked like a Goddess_

_Hotaru, what the hell are you doing to me?  
_

_You make feel awkwardly comfortable_

_My heart is always beating so fast and my words stutter under my breath_

_Yet, it all feels nice_

"Well, I just wanted to Thank you," she placed her hand over her chest and smiled. "You've been everything to me this time. I never felt, so good."

"Wha-what?" He blushed. _What the hell are you talking about! _

"Well, err,um… how could I say this…" She thought for awhile as he waited for those words to come out her mouth.

_Hotaru…_

I smiled, no matter what blackmailing she's done to me

No matter the idiotic actions I've shown her

Here I am, standing in front of her, looking at her, amazed of how she looks

It's true as they say; _you don't notice the changes around you when they're just standing there. _

"Well," she bowed in front of me and said. "Thanks, thanks for everything."

I stood there, my eyes widened and my looks gazed at her. I blushed; I felt my heart pump faster, my head swirling with thoughts of her, my feelings for her rose. She meant everything…

For me?

I don't know! I don't get what I'm feeling, I feel so nervous, thinking of her several times and my heart only does these tricks when I'm with her. I feel she's always in my heart even if she's far away, I feel

I feel

I feel

I feel

I feel

I feel

"Ruka-kun?" I hear her say. I looked at her and her gaze was locked in my eyes. I looked down and saw her lips, I felt nervous again all of the sudden and my blushed deepened.

I felt like a pervert!

I feel

I feel

I feel

"Ruka? Are you ok?" She asked me worried. I shook my head and sighed.

"Don't worry," I told her. "I'm fine," I smiled lightly even though my blush can still be seen.

She sighed and sat down the cold snow, I did the same and she decided to strike up a conversation

And the subject is NOT my type

"Ne Ruka-kun, err… do you still, I mean, still like Mi-Mikan?" She stuttered out of the sudden. I looked at her to my surprise, her fingers were entwined with her long raven hair and her eyes seemed to be bothered with her own thoughts and questions.

But, I didn't blush at her question

Hearing the word 'like' and 'Mikan' doesn't affect me anyone until this day

Now, I feel that I don't care about her

I feel that I want to shout, "NO WAY!"

I feel glad I gave her up to Natsume and I don't feel hurt

"No, not anymore I guess." I answered her gently. She blinked her eyes several times and looked at me strangely. She kept staring at me like I did something wrong or a monster was behind me. I stared back with mixed expressions and 'what' and 'why.'

"What is it?" I asked her and raised an eye brow. She sighed and shook her head.

"It's nothing." She replied. She looked at me with her stunning violet eyes. "I was just a bit surprised, you answere my question, calmly."

"Oh that," I chuckled a bit and she did the same.

I loved her hearing her voice ring through my ears

I loved seeing her smile, laugh especially if it's because of me

I loved everything about her

**WAIT!!!!!!**

I did **NOT **just think of that

NO WAY!!!!

I gazed her from head to toe, she was smiling and her hair was no loose. She had skin pale as snow, her hair was dark as the night, her eyes were of cool shades of violet, she made me smile

She made me laugh

She made me feel in comfort

I blushed at those thoughts of her

She made me feel the way Mikan did years ago

I placed my hand over my chest and closed my eyes for awhile

I smiled, maybe I am…

"Ne, Ruka, does it mean you like someone else now?" She asked me out of the blue. I can sensed she seemed to be a little bit nervous, I wonder why.

I felt my heart suddenly pump faster

I felt my body sweat

I felt my head swirling with thoughts

"Err…." I murmured. Man, I feel so nervous and my blush got deeper every second. Why is this happening!

"It's ok, it's ok if-"

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"Yeah, I like someone," he answered me straight to the point. "Not only like, I love her more than anything." He lowered his head and shook it, "I was wondering why I only noticed it now, she was always there but I never paid attention to her."

He answered at me so calmly…

I actually feel nice

While I feel a little sad

"Really?" My voice was mixed of curiosity and sadness I can't explain.

"Hai," he looked directly into my eyes, his looks can kill me at any second.

I smiled at looked at my palms, and sighed

But mine can't do the same to him, can it?

I felt my heart beat faster and faster, I had this feeling of content and happiness whenever I'm with him. I never felt negative about things.

_I love him, but…_

_Can he ever feel the same about me?_

"What about you Hotaru," he voiced and looked straight into the winter wonderland in front of us. "Do you like someone?"

I smiled inwardly, I wanted to slap him and shout, "I love you, you idiot!"

But, that'll only break my heart, I can never be the one he loves. "Hai," I replied timidly. I looked at him and his eyes were at the state of shock.

Was it so impossible for me to like someone?

"Ruka-kun?" I voiced to him. He sighed and looked at me back.

"Hai?" He replied to me. I nodded and smiled to him, I wished I could run and hug him

Embrace and kiss him

And shout to the world how I love him so much

Oh, how I **wished **for those things to happen

"Well," I murmured and looked at my palms, "The Academy Christmas Party's coming up."

"Yeah, I guess so…"

"Who's gonna be your partner then?" I asked.

I bit my lower lip and decided to shut up.

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I gulped, my, my partner?

"Why, why ask?" I asked her, my heart pumping so fast. She looked at her fingers and meekly replied.

"Well, I… I don't…"

"I actually don't know," I told her, slightly panting. Why is she making me this uncomfortable and yet… nice, sweet, gentle…!

"Oh," she replied to me with a sigh. I managed to smile at her form, she was beautiful, she was elegant. She was… Imai Hotaru…

"Hotaru… You lo-look…"

"Ruka! Hotaru!" A female voice shouted as 4 figures came to view…

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_A/N: Sorry for the long update and short chapter, but then again… it's a surprise for the next chapter!!!!!!!! Watch out!_

_Here's a preview:_

"_Ho-Hotaru…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Would you go to the Christmas Party with me?"_

"_What?" Her eyes were filled with tears. She can't smile. _

_She can feel her heart break slowly… into pieces…_

"_Yes, I will…"_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	12. A New Friend

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Well, people… thanks for the reviews and I hope you like this one. Oh yeah, for HelenaLaVince, this isn't a Natsukan chapter! I'll try to push one or two more chapters about them! Sorry…

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Chapter 12: A new friend

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It's been 3 days and now… everything's back to normal

Narumi, Tsubasa, Mikan and Natsume found Hotaru and Ruka

And you know what happened next

But then again, certain occurrences make differences

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The wind was gushing softly as the trees and leaves swayed to it. The firmament was getting darker and lightning formed slowly.

"Hmm," a female slowly whispered. "It's gonna rain." She lowered her head and her thin, pale lips quivered into a frown. Things have changed very much, most of all, it changed their 'relationship.' They never spoke to each other, never minded each other at all.

In her, maybe it was the right thing to do. Look, she's a weirdo science freak and well, he's the most popular boy in school.

She can actually feel the warm tears flow from her eyes, her thin lips drawn to a small frown. She was left alone in the classroom, everyone has gone. She just wanted to be alone.

She actually felt, this sad. She was happy with him; she felt he was already a part of her… When taken away… hurts too much

She felt her was a big part in her LIFE…

"But, I guess some parts have to be taken away," She uttered to herself. Suddenly, she felt a presence by the door.

"Imai-san?" A voice called out.

Hotaru quickly shook her head and wiped her tears. She faced to where it was.

"You…"

"Go-gomenasai…"

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The soft brushing of the wind against her touch, the birds flying and nature swaying through the breeze's rhythm, she sighed. She never actually thought of leaving the room that early or walking with him like this…

Xiao Rune…

"How… How are you?" He stuttered for awhile. Hotaru smirked inwardly, _stutter, just like **him…** _

"Ok, fine, nothing happened…" She said. For her, something did happen. For her, meeting him, being with him in that place was already something.

For her, being him a part of her "lifeless" life

Was everything…

"Oh, that wasn't what I heard…" Xiao Rune replied. Hotaru looked up to him, he sure has changed. He wasn't wearing those large necklaces around his neck or his choker. He tied his hair a little nicer now and he's actually smiling, not smirking.

"What did you hear anyways?" She asked. Xiao Rune smiled, but not at her.

"Don't worry," he replied and paused walking for awhile and felt the gentle breeze. "Rumors are just rumors ok?"

"Whatever," she replied. She was standing right next to the guy that stole her first kiss forcibly. The guy that called her a bitch and the same guy she slapped. But then, she felt quite comfortable with him. She was, sorta happy?

Xiao Rune chuckled softly and started walking again. Hotaru sighed and walked beside him. "So, what else?" She asked.

"Nothing, I just wanted to ask things…" He replied in a mysterious way.

"What things?" She asked him and saw a flock of birds fly across the sky from the ground. He sat down in a bench near the fountain as she did the same. It was like a date… sorta…

"I actually dunno…" He giggled. Hotaru raised and eye brow and sighed once more.

"Why did you drag me here then?"

Xiao Rune faced her and sighed, Hotaru raised and eye brow.

"I've been longing to tell you this since the day you slapped me…"

"…"

"And the day Nogi Ruka punched me…"

Hotaru smiled a little and Xiao Rune grinned at her.

"I'm really, really, sorry for what I did," he told her calmly and gently. Hotaru's eyes widened when the calm breeze of the wind passed and her hair flew with its cadence. She can feel her heart beat faster, yes faster. She placed her hand over her chest and smiled warmly.

Xiao Rune lowered his head in shame, he never wanted to see Hotaru and Ruka, nor talk to them. But, his guilt was eating him; he changed everything about him, turned from bad boy to good boy, hoping his realization would stop. It didn't work; now… it's the right time… he had enough of countless nightmares…

"I'm really sorry," he continued. "I was such a bastard back then; I don't know why I did it. I'm not into good stuff back then, I've always thought that I'm a man and I know what to do. I never thought that I'll feel so, so stupid in the end."

"Xiao Rune…" Hotaru calmly said. No one has ever did this to her, she smiled more. No one has ever said those words to her; she was beautiful, gentle, calm, smart but then

Her love for technology and science made her different from others

She was a geek, somewhat more beautiful

Even though, few are her true friends… no one has ever said sorry to her like this

"I'm so, so, so sorry Imai-san," he bowed his head more.

Others have hurt her before but she kept her mask

She kept silent; she was waiting for someone to just feel

Feel her pain, the pain they gave her

"Xiao Rune…"

Sumire and the other girls, made her feel too different

Mikan would always say that their just jealous

But, they were right

Who would want someone like her? She was a techno-freak

Maybe that's why she felt she never belonged with him…

"I'm so sorry," he sighed and faced his right. "I hope these things somehow erase the past I left you. I never wanted to do that, I'm just an asshole. It's ok if you won't forgive me; I understand… how much I've taken away from you…"

They would never dare say sorry to her

But Xiao Rune made a difference

Xiao Rune was well-known. He was now smart, a gentleman, nice, kind, handsome. He was everything every girl wanted and now

He was saying sorry to her

"Thank you," Hotaru muttered and placed her hand over him shoulder. "Thanks a lot."

He made her feel different

She felt so comfortable… he was something

He was the first

"What?" He suddenly lifted his head and saw her fine-looking deep lilac eyes. He blushed a little and gulped. But, more than that, she was smiling ever so beautifully, it made him blush deeper

"Thank you," she repeated. "You don't know how much your sorry means to me."

"Really?"

"Yes, thank you very much," she closed her eyes for awhile and took his right hand. He felt his heart beat

Beat

Beat

Beat

Beat

Beat faster than normal

Beat

Beat

Beat

Beat

Normal… he was feeling sweaty… he looked at her as she placed his right hand over her chest, the part above her heart

"I-Imai-san?" He murmured. He never felt this way… he felt so… deep… he felt he was falling in her deep plum eyes. He felt like her was drowning in her looks, her face, her eyes, her smile… he felt deeper and deeper every second…

"Xiao Rune, arigato." She told him and let go of his hand.

He gulped and answered, "Doitashimaste."

Hotaru nodded, "Please call me Hotaru, ok?"

"Ok!"

"Hmm…"

They both didn't know, a pair of calm blue eyes was watching them from afar. He placed his hand over his chest

He suddenly felt something broke into pieces

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A week has passed and Hotaru and Xiao Rune have been good friends. They have been close after the 'sorry thing' in the park 7 days ago. Hotaru felt so much comfortable with Xiao Rune and she felt at home for once. Yes, maybe Mikan was once her home, but, she's growing up. She's falling deeper into Natsume, she won't be visiting her for awhile.

They talk almost everyday, every time. During lunch time and free times, they would talk, laugh and smile about different experiences. She learned more about him as he learned more about her.

"Really? I never knew you had a sister," Hotaru voiced with the same cold tone, Xiao Rune nodded.

"Yup, but, unfortunately, she didn't have an alice, that's what made us words apart, since the beginning." He replied. Hotaru raised an eye brow and looked at him weirdly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my sister, my imoto, she's just one year younger than me," he replied and let out a heavy sigh. "That one year seems to be 100 years apart!"

"You've got to be kidding me," Hotaru sighed and placed her back on the trunk of the tree. Xiao Rune glanced at her for awhile and did the same. They were sitting under a tree in the Northern Forest. They felt the calm, gentle breeze of the whispering wind and the sun was shinning brightly but 2 week from now, Christmas is coming.

"It bothers me why the academy used all the technology they had to stop the snow fall," Xiao Rune sighed heavily. "I've been waiting all year for the snow…"

"Hn," Hotaru looked up the sky and saw the birds flying together. "I have an idea why."

"Why then?"

"It's a secret."

"What the?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Come on! You've told me almost everything!" Xiao Rune exclaimed. "Why not this!"

"Because… this is my fault," she whispered under her breath. "I mean our fault…" She smiled and silently talked to the wind. Xiao Rune neared his ear and asked.

"Naze?" Hotaru asked him.

"It's because you were muttering something under your breath earlier," he replied and faced her. "I just wanted to know it."

Hotaru smiled a little and shook her head. They have been spending quality time like this a lot now, Hotaru has really been close to Xiao Rune. He changed everything about her, sometimes; she would lie down in bed and wish tomorrow to come quickly. She wanted to talk to him about everything, he was such a chatter box that he's a very nice friend to talk to. Sometimes, she would also feel this eerie feeling with him. She would feel her heart beat faster but then… just would fade away.

Xiao Rune neared her a little that there were only inches space between their shoulders. He looked at her; her eyes were looking up the blue sky. He never bothered to ask why, but he would always notice that whenever they were silent like this, her lilac eyes would always be averted upwards to the sky. He grinned and closed his eyes. He never thought that Imai Hotaru would be his friend. He never thought she'd open up to him.

He never thought he'll be sitting this close to her, for once in his life.

He can't deny it, he liked her before that's why he did that to her. Now, everything's different. He's got all the chance in the world, "I love you," he whispered that only he can hear. He's fallen for her the time when she's forgiven her.

And he'd do anything to win her heart

"Hotaru…" He murmured suddenly his thoughts stopped and his head fell

"Huh?" Hotaru looked at her right and let out a sigh. He suddenly fell asleep on her shoulders. She let him be, she actually liked it. She was at ease with him…

"Ok, go do that," she said as she caressed his face lightly. "Wake you up later."

A smile escaped from her lips as she ran her fingers through his cheeks. She stopped when suddenly a hand grabbed her hand.

"Stop, let me sleep ok?" Xiao Rune asked her. She took her hand from his grip and nodded. He smiled at her as she smiled back and he fell asleep.

"Xiao Rune-kun…"

Her eyes widened and a gasp escaped from her lips as she turned to her right…

Baby blue eyes looking at her solemnly

"Ruka-kun…"

Again, the broken pieces shattered more…

"Why is this happening to me?" He murmured and ran away.

"Ru-!" She was about to stand up and ran after him when she felt Xiao Rune bulged a bit. She looked at him and she felt all right again. She sat down and touched the grass slowly. She pondered into somehow, why Xiao Rune did made her feel this way

A way similar to how she felt to the blue-eyed teen she saw earlier

She suddenly felt her heart half into two

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_MK: Sorry guys for the wrong info in the last chapter. I just can't do that in this chapter because I needed to put an extra something before the surprise. Now you know who asked her out! Well, **SORRY, **I accept if you curse me because I'm not a reliable authoress. That info was to be for the next chapter!  
_

_**I'm REALLY, REALLY SORRY!**_

_Ja!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei _


	13. Asking out his smile

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Hey guys! SORRY FOR THE LONG NOT UPDATING thing… my computer just go infected with a damn virus. Shit… here's the next chapter then!

... oh yeah, to chellemi… , I've added you up in friendster and I'm so sorry I took long time to update! Please approve it!

... and to others you can also add me up, ok?!

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

Chapter 13: Asking Out; his smile

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"Hotaru!" A male voice called from behind. Hotaru turned her head and smiled a bit. She closed her thick book and pushed her hair behind her ears, the wind was getting a little harsh, she thought.

"Ohayo, Xiao Rune," she greeted. Xiao Rune smiled and sat beside her under the cherry blossom tree. It was Saturday, so they were both free the whole day.

"Ohayo, Hotaru," he smiled at her. He noticed her book and chuckled a bit

She's always been like that

"Naze? What's so funny?" She asked him, puzzled.

He shook his head and smiled at her, a smile that can wipe of every girl in the world. "Nothing," he replied and rubbed the back of his head. "Well, you remind me… so much… of…"

"Of who?" She raised an eye brow. He smiled at her weirdly and sighed heavily. They had always been like this after those long days, nights. They were always there for each other; they would always be each other's company. They were even rumored to be dating.

Even so… they were the type that didn't care

"Hmph, maybe I'm reminding you of your girlfriend then?" She teased him. Xiao Rune's eyes widened and looked at her.

"No way! I don't have a girlfriend!" He blurted out. She smirked at him and caressed her long, raven tresses.

"Yeah right," she mocked him. "You're the famous Xiao Rune, girls and **gays** go heels over you."

"Well, what makes you different?" He asked and pouted like a child. Hotaru paused for awhile, silence fell from the sky and covered them.

"Hotaru… i…"

"Hn," she replied simply and placed her hand over the thick book on her lap. "I am different from you."

"No you're not!" He said to her and stood up in front of her, covering her from the early rays of the sun.

"Xiao Rune…" She murmured under her breath. She looked at him, his eyes were of pure yellow(_Mk: is it yellow?)_, like the warm sun. His eyes can pierce into anything, everything. His hair was deep, like the midnight sky, endless. She felt so warm, so comfortable with his eyes. She felt her heart throb, throb and throb… she felt like…

She's staring to fall deeper…

Deeper, into his eyes

Into his heart…

"It's not true Hotaru," he said gently. Her eyes widened and he shook his head. "It's not true, it's a big white lie," he replied to her calmly.

"What are you talking about?" She asked him. He stretched his hand unto her and smiled.

"Come on," he said to her with a warm smiled. Hotaru closed her eyes for awhile…

Yes, her heart was at peace

Yes, everything was fine

Yes, she finally found someone that can catch her when she falls

That can walk to her, will talk to her

Will be everything for her

"Hai," she replied and took his hand.

She stood up and looked up the sky…

She suddenly… blurred out

She frowned a bit, knowing that the blue sky always made her remember someone

Someone she knew, she could never… ever… forget

"Hotaru? Daijoubu?" He asked her sincerely. She smiled, half fake, half not…

"Ha-Hai," she nodded and took his hand. Xiao Rune blushed at this and faced her.

"Hotaru… I…" He stuttered, sweating like a pipe. "I…"

"Xiao Rune please," she said to him. His eyes widened and he smiled, he placed his other hand over her head and gently

At times, they would like a loving couple

At times they would look like a caring brother and sister

"Hai, whatever it is, I will promise to do it," he replied to her. He didn't know why, but sometimes, at times like this, Hotaru would suddenly act strange, as if she was longing for something every time she does it. Her eyes starts to give him the feeling that she needs more… more…

He would just take her hand and smile at her, hoping that somehow this would calm her. He was breaking inside, he knew that things that bothered her whenever she was lost in her thoughts. He knew… it was 'him' again… every time she would look at the blue sky… pictures of him starts to appear…

"_Hotaru, why can't I be enough?" _He thought and frowned. _"Why can't I replace him, I love you so much… why is your love too hard to gain?"_

"Xiao Rune, please stay with me, ok?" She asked him, longingly.

"_Stay with you until the time comes that you fall for me?" He thought but, shook his head. "No. Stay with you until Nogi Ruka opens his eyes to see you and find you once more… that's why."_

"Don't worry, I won't…" He said his voice a bit uncertain. _Even though one day, I'll have to go away… and you'll even be the one standing there, watching me, and walking away… _

"Let's go now?" She asked him, suddenly, like nothing has happened.

Xiao Rune sighed heavily and nodded, "Hai, I'm starving!"

Hotaru giggled as they walked together.

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"Hotaru…"

The sound of tin can can be heard through the streets early in the morning.

A heavy sigh escaped from a teenager's lips as he ran his fingers through his blonde hair, subsiding into deep thoughts. He pushed his hand into his pockets and pulled out a small box, it was supposed to be given to her 3 days after the incident when he just suddenly noticed… she was drifting away from him… slowly…

"Why?" He asked and opened it, never minding the can left as garbage on the streets. It revealed a beautiful bracelet with chained white snowflakes. It was beautiful, any girl would accept this and he thought she too… will accept it

But then, he just noticed and knew one day… she was not there anymore. She was not there; the girl on his back was never there… she vanished.

He doesn't know why but, he never minded to notice her as well. He was an idiot, the guy always makes the first move right?

"Why didn't I!" He shouted to himself. He hated it, everything about it

He placed the bracelet back to its box and pushed it into his pockets. Sighing heavily, he puffed his cheeks and let it all out.

He never knew why he didn't bother talking to her, through everything they have been through

She captured his heart; she was the one with the key

But then… he couldn't fight for her

"She would never love me," he sighed and placed his back coolly on a solid wall. "I'm weak, she'd never love me."

While he was drowning himself with endless thoughts of her… remembering those times how she felt so weak unto his arms, the times where she accidentally captured his heart without knowing it

"I guess it is true that regret comes last," a voice told him. He looked to where it came from to see a female with long, deep azure hair with shades of black at the end of her side bangs, tied in a low pony, her eyes were of beautiful jade, piercing into anything it gazes. She was beautiful, but deadly, seeing that she has a control device on her right ear. It was a dangling silver cross.

"Yui?" He murmured and blinked his eyes several times. The teen just nodded her head. Sakamoto Yui is her name; she's got the Alice of Devil Eye. It means she can bring a person through his/her worst nightmare, it gives her the strength and stealth she has now. As well, she has the limiting alice.

"Nogi, what the hell is happening to you?" She asked him coldly. She was just like Natsume, she came to the Academy together with Xiao Rune 3 years ago.

"Why are you asking me that?" He frowned and faced the ground.

"Hyuuga told me to," she said.

"Why? Why do you follow then?" He asked her.

"He's my superior, Persona appointed him to be higher than me. I should obey him," her voice turned deadlier. "If I don't, things go ugly."

Ruka's eyes widened for awhile, but frowned. "Where is he now then?" He asked her.

"He's out in a mission, it'll take him more than one day to accomplish." She replied and crossed her arms. "He told me to take care of you, you've got some problems as I've heard him say."

"Problems?" He asked and looked at her deadly sea green eyes. "What does he mean?"

"It concerns a certain girl, Imai Hotaru right?" She asked him back. He sighed heavily and frowned.

"Oh."

"Hn," she replied. "So, what do you want me to do with the Xiao Rune guy?"

"What?"

"Hyuuga told me to do anything it takes to help you," she said. "So?"

"Don't touch him!" He yelled at her, making her step back. He turned his back and his bangs covered him baby blue eyes.

"Nani?" She asked him.

"If you touch him, she'll get hurt." He replied to her and walked away. "You would never understand."

Yui just watched him walk away from her sight and turned around, "Well, then, I'll guess I can't help you. You'll have to go through this, get hurt, and get bullied, in a harder way though." She walked away.

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"We're here!" Xiao Rune happily told her. It was a part in the northern forest, a calmer part that is.

It was majestic, wonderful, amazing. Beautiful

The green prairie was beautiful, the flowers and trees swaying along the rhythm of the soft wind. The blue and calm river, running, makes peaceful sounds of running water. It was calm, beautiful; the sky was beautiful, perfect.

Hotaru's eyes widened in surprise, everything was beautiful, she loved it. It was her fantasy…

"Wow!" She cried and walked beside the running river. She placed her hand in it and shivered a bit, it was cold at first.

"Great isn't it?" He asked and walked near her. She nodded like a small child and look at reflection in the crystal cerulean waters. "I'm glad you liked it!" He bent down and looked at her goddess-like face.

"Ne, Hotaru," he said. Hotaru glanced at him and asked.

"What is it?"

"I'm glad you're glad, know that?" He replied. Hotaru's heart felt so happy, and she smiled at him.

"Really? That's nice." She replied to him. "I feel the same way."

"Honto?" He asked her with great surprise. She nodded and placed both of her hands under the fresh blue river.

"Hai," she replied, with her voice calmer and gentle. "You don't know how lonely I was those last three days before I met and befriend you. You just don't know…"

"Oh, really?" He asked, fake. He knew the exact reason why, it was because Nogi Ruka. He was the only one in her head, mind and soul those times. Until now, he can never steal that place from him.

"Yeah." She smiled sadly. She looked at her reflection again, seeing the calm blue waters. "Blue…" Suddenly, an image passed her thoughts.

"Ruka…" She muttered. She looked at the water closely and saw a male with short blonde hair and gentle cobalt eyes. She was at shock because in that image, he was a part of her. Half herself and half him, and he was smiling at her. She felt her heart flutter when suddenly, he disappeared.

"Hotaru? Daijoubu?" He asked her. He knew what was up; blue water reminded her of him.

"Iie, nandemonay," she replied sadly and stood up. "I don't feel so well Xiao Rune, I, I have to go."

"Hotaru wait!" But, it was already too late; her figure was fading away from his view from afar. He stood up and clutched his pants angrily. He was frustrated, very frustrated and very solemn as well.

"Xiao Rune," a deadly female voice called to him.

"Eh?" He knew that voice from somewhere, he was sure. He turned his head to see… "Yui?"

"Hai, I'm glad you remember me somehow." She replied mockingly.

"Jeez, this is not the time Yui, ok?" He told her and placed his hand over his forehead and passed her. Yui looked at him with her cold green eyes and said.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" She asked. He stopped from his tracks and silence enveloped them both. Her hair slowly swayed with the late afternoon air.

"Why are you here, Yui?" He asked her. She just stared at his back, not wanting answer. Her eyes were piercing into anything it glances. "Why are you-…"

"It's none of your business." She replied seriously.

"Nor is my feelings is your as well," he replied to her. She smirked at him and crossed her arms.

"Your tongue will never change," she said to him. "I know you're hurt."

"And so?" He asked her.

"You both are idiots," she told him and jumped into a branch of a tree. "You and Nogi."

"What?" He blinked his eyes and looked at her, she was looking back at him. "What do you mean?"

"You told me it's none of my business right?" She asked him and started to jump branch from branch. He paused for awhile and followed her.

"Wait! What do you mean?" He asked, trying to keep up with the stealth of a limitation device holder. "Tell me!"

Yui paused and looked at him, "I thought it was none of my business."

"Hn," he told her. "You don't need a reason."

"Shut up," she told him and turned her back. "Remember, both of you are idiots. One let's go while the other holds on too tight. Got it?"

And with that, she jumped away.

"One let's go while the other holds on too tight?" He asked and the cold wind passed him. He stood there, his head bowed and his eyes blank. "Does that mean…"

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"Ruka, Ruka, Ruka…" A female muttered under her breath, mentally slapping herself. "Why can't I forget you? Why are you always the one in my mind?" She asked over and over again, lying on her bed like a rock. "I want to forget but I don't…"

She sat up immediately and buried her face on her palms. "This isn't logical! No, it isn't!" She shook her head over and over again. "I want to make up my mind!"

She paused from doing so, and lifted her head from her hands and smiled, "No, love isn't logical."

She lied back to her bed and felt her eyes being filled with warm tears.

"No, neither is pain logical…" She muttered and placed her hand over to where her heart beats. "It hurts too much."

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(3 days before the Christmas Thing of the Academy)

Hotaru was left in the classroom; Mikan was out for special training again. She sighed as she buried her head with the words, facts placed in her thick Science Book. She was left because all the other students helped with the decorations of the campus for the Christmas Part of the Academy. She didn't want to help because she didn't feel like so.

She sighed heavily and closed her book. She stood up when a voice from the door called her name.

"Hotaru?" He asked her. Hotaru smiled a bit and faced him.

"Is the decorating done, Xiao Rune?" She asked. He shook his head and walked to her.

"Nope, Alice Academy isn't just a school you know," he replied with a smile. "It's a city."

"I guess you're right," she told him. "Gomen if didn't help you."

He patted her shoulder and smiled, "Its ok. I know you don't want those kinds of jobs."

"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?" She asked and raised and eye brow. Xiao Rune shrugged his shoulders and smirked.

"I didn't say it meant anything," he replied.

"Hey!" She cried to him and slapped his shoulder playfully. The looked at each other and giggled.

The stopped at looked outside through the huge window of the classroom. It was almost sunset and the sky was painted with violet, orange and yellow. It was beautiful.

"Oh yeah," she told him. "I'm sorry if I ran off the other day. I didn't mean to."

"It's ok," he smiled at her. "But, you'll have to pay. It's lonely walking back alone you know!"

Hotaru giggled a bit and nodded, "Sure, what then?"

Xiao Rune gulped, it was now or never. He knelt down infront of her and held her hand gently.

"Xiao- Xiao Rune?" She asked with her eyes widened. "What is this?"

"Hotaru, willyougotothechristmaspartwithme?" He asked in a hurry. Hotaru raised an eye brow.

"What?" She asked him, bewildered from what he said. He gulped once more and closed his eyes…

"Will you go to the Christmas Party with me!" He asked.

Hotaru's eyes widened, her heart started to pound hard. Xiao Rune just closed his eyes, waiting for rejection he knew she would tell him.

She knew she was staring to fall for him… slowly… but…

Her eyes glanced at the door to see a pair of baby blue eyes staring at both of them, the figure at a state of shock. Her eyes widened and tears started to fall from her eyes…

No… her feelings for him will always be stronger…

Yes… stronger…

She was about to run to him when he smiled and walked away…

"Ruka… why?" She asked and looked at Xiao Rune.

"Hai… I'll go with you…" She murmured. Xiao Rune opened his eyes and smiled.

"Really!"

She nodded and gazed once more on the door. "Ruka…"

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It was midnight, but her eyes could not sleep.

"Why!" She cried and cried on her pillow, it was starting to get damp.

But, who cares? It hurts too much…

"Why did he look away and smiled?"

Now she knew, he never loved her at all…

She cried and cried, wishing that her tears would somehow tell him how much she loved him. Even though she felt something for Xiao Rune, her heart will always be his.

She loved him so much, too much…

He was her world, her life, her soul

But he left

She felt that everything was useless

Nothing will be right anymore

"Ruka…Ruka… Ruka…" She murmured over and over again… her tears never ending… her heart shattering endlessly…

But…

He can never love her back

He smiled at her and left

He was not the one to catch her when she falls

Even though every night she kneels and prays

Hoping her was the one

"I love you so much," she murmured and her eyes were already reddish from crying… "But why?"

Then, her tears drifter her off to sleep.

If only she could die right there and then

She would've

His smile killed her, stabbed her straight to her heart

She had enough…

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_A/N: Finally done! Please R&R! Oh yeah, what pairing do you think is better?_

_a. Xiao Rune and Hotaru?_

_b. Ruka and Hotaru?_

_c. Ruka and Yui?_

_d. Yui and Xiao Rune?_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	14. Seeing you with Him

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: I know I've got to make a thousand excuses to answer your question why I only updated right now…

I'm so sorry guys, I'm just… well… let's just say it came to a point where I was thinking if I would delete my fanfic account or this story, I dunno… I'm just glad my mind changed!

I do hope you did understand, I'm very sorry…

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Chapter 14: Seeing you with him

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_**His pain**_

_Love, I promise you_

_My love won't change_

_You'll always be the one I love_

That song played as people started to get on with the party. I looked outside, slowly, snow covered the pavement once more, though it did not stop the party.

I sighed heavily, I just can't go through this anymore…

I rubbed my sweaty forehead even though the temperature sunk down as minute passed. I felt so nervous, like something is about to happen… but then again

"I lost her," I uttered to myself, accepting complete defeat for the girl I loved and lost. I never fought for her and she would never love someone like me. She was strong-willed while I showed her how weak I was, I could never be the man she would dream of every night she laid herself into her slumbers.

_Even though you'll go away_

_And I'll get hurt _

_I promise you I will never change…_

"Damn that song," I cursed under my breath as I ran my fingers through my blonde hair. It reminds me so much of her, "I'll do whatever that darn song says. Even now, you hurt me and stay away, my love, why won't it change?" I asked myself and buried my face against my palms. Sitting down, alone in one corner as everyone was in their party spirits, I felt so down, I felt myself sink.

I opened my eyes to my surroundings, everything was in the party mode. People were smiling happily, they danced in the slow music like partners do, others were pigging themselves with the food, flirting with the people they find attractive, others just having plain party fun, lights turning into different colors. Sounds of laughter and songs, steps and dancing filled my head. There were party designs, balloons and colorful backgrounds around me and yet…

_My love is only for you_

_And my love_

_You have to know…_

Why can't I feel it?

Why can't I feel what I'm supposed to be feeling right now?

Why do I feel so solemn…? As much as I want to be a part of my ambiance

"Imai Hotaru…"

_Once_

_I'll love you only one_

_Once_

_I'll be there only once_

_Loving you for me is endless_

_Because only once means forever…_

She keeps crowding my head, she keeps me alive. She keeps my eyes straight, I have never been in-love like this since I met her and I know I can never be as long as it's only her. She's the only one I can give my heart out like this, she's given me so much that I just don't know… I just let go

"Once," I uttered. "This song really knows me." I smiled at the corner of my lips. I can only love her once, once is enough. Once is too long and too painful yet, the ride is always worth it. I'll suffer pain forever cause I loved her once, and once will always mean…

…for eternity…

forever…

"Nogi-san?" A familiar voice rang into my ears. I put on my mask quickly and faced her with a small smile.

"Hai, Nonoko-san?" I replied calmly, trying my best not to think of her, not to listen to that damn song playing.

_Once only in my life_

_Will I meet someone like you_

_Do you love me too?_

"_Damn that song," I thought trying to concentrate to whatever Nonoko is trying to tell me. _

"Are you feeling ok, Ruka?" She asked me and placed her hand against my forehead. "You don't look so well."

"_So she's noticed," I thoughts. _"Don't worry about me!" I said trying to make my voice sound cheerful. "I'm fine!"

"Well, ok…" She answered my, I sensed she didn't actually believe my senseless excuse.

"So, what brings you here?" I asked, escaping her thoughts of what's happening inside me.

"Nothing," she replied and waved her hand. "Gotta go, I just checked you out because you seemed to be out of yourself earlier."

"Oh, ok." I said and sighed.

"See you Ruka and I hope you are fine!" She said to me. "Kokoroyomi is waiting for me! Ja!" And with that she ran away.

"Can you believe it?" I shook my head and sighed heavily once more. "Even Kokoroyomi has a better love life than me!"

"Is that so?"

_My heart will always be with you_

_I promise you _

_You're the only one I pray for_

"Yui?" I answered and saw her.

"Why are you surprised to see me?" She asked me and raised an eye brow. "I did tell you Natsume told me to do so."

"So he's still not back." I inquired.

"Nope, he and Sakura Mikan," she replied and pushed her hair behind her ears, revealing her control device dangling from her ear. "They were reported to still be in action, but not an MIA. No worries, they are special trained Alices while I'll yet to become one."

"When do you think they'll come back?"

"Next week or so," she replied and crossed her arms. "The mission isn't actually in this country. I haven't got full details all in know is its in Europe, like escorting some ambassadors and sweeping up some clues about the Anti-Alice Organization there."

_My love is only for you_

_That's why my love_

_You have to know…_

"Damn that song!" I shouted barely only for the two of us to hear. She stared at me with wonder then smirked her thin lips.

"I get it now," she uttered and took the sit next to me, averting her eyes to the people on the floor, happy and in the party mode.

"Good for you," I answered and closed my eyes.

"Well Ruka, you can't blame the singer or the writer that he or she wrote the song or sang it that has something to do with your love life," she answered me calmly.

How could she answer me so calmly? Was it because she was trained to be hard, cold and like Natsume?

Or is it because I'm the only one feeling the pain and burden of love inside of me

_Once_

_I'll love you only one_

_Once_

_I'll be there only once_

_Loving you for me is endless_

_Because only once means forever…_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I felt my heart shatter, I wanted to kneel and break out, crying in front of everybody here. My knees went weak and my vision was vivid, the pain… it's so painful…

"Calm down," Yui voiced to me, tell me?

How can I calm down?

_My heart will always be with you_

_I promise you _

_You're the only one I pray for_

I feel so shattered inside, I feel so down

I can feel my eyes filled up with tears, everything inside me shattered to painfully, if I was an angel it was like my wings were taken from me, slowly…

I felt the feeling of breaking down, it's like I was lost in the snow…

I felt my body weak as I lay down slowly with the snowy weather

I felt like I tried running to catch her, take her hand and kneel down, say that I love her so much, that I don't want to let go

But I body bailed on me at the last minute…

"Hotaru…"

As the hallucination got worse, I felt everything coming true…

I can sense the cold breeze of the winter air go into my body… my body failing me as my eyes were half lidded…

"Hotaru…" Her name was the only one I can muster with my remaining strength.

I smiled as my pale hands touched the snow; the snow was the one that gave her to me…

_My love for you is endless…_

_Forever_

_I can only love you once_

_Once and that's enough  
Because one time means forever…_

I can feel my strength disappearing from my body, my body failing me as I felt the snow getting heavy against me. I want to see her eyes; I want to see her smile, a smile only for me…

"Hotaru…" Her name was the only name that kept me going, trying to win…

But then, she left me here in the snow because I never fought for her

This is what I deserved as a coward…

As the snow got me, my body failing and my senses freezing all I can see is her…

"I guess dreams can never come true…" I uttered as hot tears ran through my eyes. As half of my body stopped functioning, I can feel my eyes filled with endless tears… making me sees why I didn't fight for her…

I felt my heart burst, shatter slowly as my tears filled up faster, my heart almost stop beating as I can feel it break in me… I can never mend it now

"Hotaru… I…" I wish I could say the words I want to say to you… the words I've always wanted to say so badly…

"I lo-lo…"

The words that kept my heart in tack for all this time you captured my heart in a sudden chance..

"I love…"

But then everything ended so sudden… I can never see you again…

"I love yo-yo…"

Hoping somehow you'll

_Once_

_I'll love you only one_

_Once_

_I'll be there only once_

_Loving you for me is endless_

_Because only once means forever…_

"I love you…"

Somehow, you'll love me too…

My eyes were half lidded yet still full of undying tears, wishing somehow she was beside me to hear all of this pain…

"Hotaru… I've always loved you…" I uttered slowly as I felt my tears still flow but my eyes closing slowly. My whole body numbed and cold…

My heart broken into pieces as my heart still longed for her

Her smile

Her eyes

Her everything

I can still see myself running after her…

After her…

But she broke my heart too much as I can bear…

"I love you…"

I hope she loved me too…

Because loving you means living for you

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Suddenly… my eyes were wide open as I felt the wind suddenly run with great speed against my body

"Ruka?" A voice asked me, it was Yui, she was still there.

But why do I feel all alone?

Why do I feel like I'm the only one in this world anymore?

Yet I see so much around me, why do I feel so empty?

I touched my face and felt something wet and warm, "Tears?"

I was crying? How come, I don't know about it?

What happened? What is happening to me?

"Ruka?"

She called for me once again.

"Yes?" I answered, still confused with my tears.

"Are you ok?" She asked me.

"I dunno," I answered and placed my hand over my beating heart.

"…"

"Yui tell me," I said and looked at her straight. "I want to know."

"Know what?" She asked calmly and seriously. I knew she wanted everything to her straight forward.

"I want to know what happened, why?" I asked her and looked at my palms. "What happened? Did I cry? Did something happen? If yes, what then? Why do I feel so lonely, empty and alone? You've always been there beside me all this time. So what happened?"

"What?" She asked a little surprise.

"What is it?" I asked, getting a bit hysterical. I feel so alone

I feel so incomplete…

What did happen… I don't know or do I remember

"Yui tell me!" I asked aggravated as she just looked at me with her piercing jade eyes and a emotionless look. "tell me!"

"You're such a coward," she said and stood up. "What did you do?"

"What did I do!" I asked her. "I don't remember, so tell me!"

"Darn it Ruka!" She replied and I silenced. She paused for awhile, trying to calm down herself. "You erased you're memory."

What did she say?

_Once_

_I'll love you only one_

_Once_

_I'll be there only once_

_Loving you for me is endless_

_Because only once means forever…_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A/N: Well that's such a party bust! Well, I'm changing the mode of this fic now… since I didn't get to finish it in Christmas… New Year and New life!! HARHAR! If you don't get it… just read!

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	15. destressed author not really chap 15

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: My previous chapter wasn't that successful and now I've got one last question:

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

(Not included as one of the chapters!)

My dear readers, I want to know your exact reply with this, but please:

Do you want me to continue Christmas Dragonfly?

(Yes)

(No)

Please answer through review or whatever, just begging you!!

The truth is, I really didn't have the strength to finish it anymore, but I knew that I was an authoress and I needed to finish it so I guessed that I had the reputation and job to end this with a right ending you guys would love. But then, I feel like you don't want it anymore because of the long span of time I did not update. There's so many things that are happening in my life right now, I just try to push in writing Christmas Dragonfly because it's my hobby and I **love **writing stories **sooo much. **I do hope you understand.

_-totally distressed_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	16. Fast Cure

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Wanna know more how Ruka lost his memories? Read and find out! And you might ask me what's the previous title gotta do with the chapter 14, well, we'll see…

(I also know I have to make up for the long, long time of not updating the story… sorry…)

**But please people… I sooo need a review…. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO BEGGING YOU!!!!!!!**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

Chapter 15: Fast Cure

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

"What the hell?" I asked surprised as she continued.

"An Alice, when into great depression, frustration, anger or whatever strong feeling of negative aura sometimes looses his or her memory through a process known as Meta-Alice," she replied and crossed her arms, like nothing happened.

"What?" I asked. I have no idea what she is talking about. "How come I don't know that? The academy teaches us everything that we Alices go through. What are you talking about!"

"There are many things that teachers don't teach and tell to students like you that they tell to students like us," she replied. "We are the dark arts students, we have to know everything that may happen, that can happen or that can limit our abilities to dust. There are more you don't know that you can undergo to, the way you can strengthen or weaken your alice through other alices."

"But…" I murmured and stood up, my bangs covering my eyes. "I still don't understand."

"When the Alice is filled with the negative emotion too much, it's alice causes a break down eventually erasing the unwanted memory, a temporary cure because alices can be altered through emotion. Remember, you are an Alice and you have to know you alice better than anyone else."

"I still don't remember it…"

"Yet like I said, it's only for temporary…"

"What do you mean?" I asked her, feeling so confused and weary of everything happening. "If I've gone through this Meta-Alice you're telling me, what did it erase from my memory?"

"It erases anything that caused you pain, too much devastation that broke you down to it," Yui replied. "And I suppose you don't know what exactly it is?"

"Yeah," I replied and ran my fingers through my hair. My eyes widened in shock, if this was supposed to be a temporary cure why do I still feel

Incomplete?

Empty?

Longing for a certain something…

I felt I lost something in my heart

And yet, I don't know how and why I lost it…

I just feel that I can never be myself without, 'it'

I feel a longing to endlessly look for it, run and run as I reach out my hand and touch whatever I lost

"Cure?" I asked her and she nodded slightly, she knew that it wasn't the cure I was looking for. "And you do know…"

"I don't know how Hyuuga-sama will react to this," she uttered and slightly touched the dangling cross in her ear.

"You told me this was supposed to be cure," I told her and spread my arms wide, "Why don't I feel the cure? Why do I feel like it was better for me to remember what I lost than actually forget it!"

Yui just looked at me, I don't know whatever she's thinking or about to say but I demand an answer from her. I want to know what's happening, yes, I know about the Meta-Alice but I want to know why I can't feel the cure this Meta-Alice was supposed to make me feel. I wanted to know right now…

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**Yui's POv**

Great…

Just great…

How am I supposed to tell this idiot here what happened…

"Yui, tell me!" He insisted. I felt more eyes gaze at us each moment.

I want to speak up and just make him face the truth but I know that will make things worse. He's got a strong character, that's what I thought before. I never knew just a girl would make him break down to this. I also hear Persona-sensei tell me that I shouldn't let feelings like this ruin me.

Now I totally get what he meant

But then, how come Hyuuga-sama doesn't break down to this when it comes to Sakura

Or is it because she hasn't done this to him

I don't know and I don't care

"YUI! WOULD YOU JUST TELL ME!" He shouted so loud that everyone stopped dancing, flirting, talking and just averted their mystified eyes to us. I saw Ruka, he was so frustrated, he wanted to know what really is happening but can I tell him? I know it will bring more pain and suffering to him, though I don't care, I have to finish this because Hyuuga-sama appointed me to.

"YUI!" He shouted once again.

I looked at the clock and saw the time, it was just 12 noon, the party started for 9 am, it was a whole day party. Students can get in or out whenever they like.

"Yui please!" He begged and held unto my shoulders, I was totally surprised. But yet, my head was in a spin, would I tell him or not?

"PLEASE!" He begged more and shook me, I was just at a trance. Then suddenly, I decided I should stop this none sense

I was never trained for this…

"Shut up," I said coldly and swiftly pushed my palms behind his ears and with a quick finger movement; I manipulated his nerves and made him sleep softly.

As for the crowd, they went back to lives…

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Wake up," I uttered and splashed a glass of water against his face.

"What the he-!" He uttered and quickly stood up, shaking his head with a sigh.

"Hn."

Ruka sighed heavily and took the towel I threw to his face. Gently rubbing it against his façade, I sat down with him on the bench under the roof of the building, out from the snow. I wasn't the light type of person anyways, I grew and lived in the darkness in me and I longed for, the same darkness Hyuuga-sama had to go through as well.

Then, silence fell upon the heavens…

I felt the gentle breeze of the snow air brush against my skin as my long blue tresses dancing with its endless rhythm. I felt at tranquility as I breathed the cold air gently, feeling it against my sense of smell. I glanced at Ruka occasionally; I knew his nature would just barge in and ask me what really happened and if this was cure, why does he feel so empty.

I myself have no clue of how this thing work

His eyes were filled of perplexity and weakness to utter a word, his strength drifted away as I know that by himself he's trying to somehow fathom everything I told him, trying to somehow what caused that sudden hole in his life.

And me too, I still wonder and try to puzzle out what caused him this, for all I've heard from Persona, he's got a strong kind of Alice, meaning it couldn't just resort to something like this. His Alice is only different from Hyuuga-sama and the others because it's not limiting his life and it doesn't inflict pain.

And yet, pain was inflicted to him so much, causing such a massive break down of his Alice, erasing the memories of falling for Imai Hotaru. A strong Alice that doesn't hurt has been hurt, that's it. And I have a strong Alice that hurts and cannot be hurt. I still ponder though, why he keeps one pursuing her even though she had inflicted pain so much. Is this real strength Hyuuga-sama once told me, or the weakness Persona-sensei lectured me. I feel so lost like Ruka, drifting to where life shows me…

Then, I heard a voice that woke me up from my reverie

"Snow, I can never forget it."

I looked at him straight and plain, his hands were on his shoulders and his face facing the falling snow with a small smile.

_A smile? _I thought, wondering if this man was insane or not.

"Nani?" I asked.

He placed his back coolly on the solid wall and sighed, "For some reason, when I look at the snow, I feel as if I had something important with it."

"Is he starting to remember?" I asked against the cold breeze of the snow.

"I feel as if there was something with me back there, over there," he said, pointing out an unknown direction against the snow filled pavement. "I loved whatever it is, I feel as if it completed me so much."

"Ruka," I uttered and lowered my head.

"But then, whatever it is, I felt so hard and lost it. I feel like I've been in the snow trying to forget about what I lost and then…"

"Then what?" Yui asked as she waited.

"I felt the snow suddenly cover me, I felt my body numb and I couldn't move. I remember only muttering one name and one sentence before I closed my eyes and drifted off."

I stood up and crossed my arms

I guess I could never understand how this feeling works

"So, what do you think?" He asked me while I buried myself with other thoughts.

I guess I would never want to as well.

And yet, it brings me curiosity, how this feeling just brings someone so down and pulls it so unexpectedly. Giving that someone strength and might to go on, know more about that person and live his/her life for him/her

Like what he was doing right now, I guess that's not weakness now?

Now I understand what Persona-sensei is trying to tell me, I saw how Ruka felt the pain and how his blue eyes showed no emotion but just longing for her, like someone sick and about to die

"Ruka, listen," I uttered and pushed my hair behind my ears.

"What is it?" He asked me, his fingers playing against his knees.

"Listen…"

Now I also understand what Hyuuga-sensei was trying to tell me, I saw how Ruka was determined to know what he lost. What was the one filling that empty space, the longing gave him strength and unsurpassed determination.

"Yes?"

"Those words you last spoke, in the snow…"

"What is it about them?"

"It's…"

"Its?"

I guess that feeling would never arise with both, because pain emerges strength while strength brings too much pain. I still can't understand the other but I'm the relieved to have understood what my two teachers have told me

"I love you, Imai Hotaru…"

"Imai Hotaru," he uttered and his eyes shot wide open. I kept quiet and let his mind sort out everything in him, I close my eyes and let the flashbacks run through his head, it's his job now, I'm just here to see and watch

"What…"

And see what he can really prove

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**Ruka's POV**

What are these? Flashbacks running in my head like a rewinding video, playing backwards for me to see. I was lost in myself, I felt like walking in a gallery where I saw pictures of things that happened in the past my Alice erased from me.

"Nani?" I asked myself as I saw many pictures of Hotaru. I walked further and there was always snow behind me, I saw her pictures and it somehow slowly filled the void within me, I walked and saw a familiar scene…

"_Ruka," she stated again. But, she completed his name, for some reason, it calmed him down._

"_What is it?" He asked, though, he was still worried._

"_We can still go ne?" She asked softly. "You can do it. I know you can." Her words stiffened him for some while, this wasn't Imai_

_This wasn't the girl he knew before_

_This wasn't the girl the black mailed him_

_This wasn't the girl that he would always follow_

_The girl that would point the baka gun at him_

_No…_

_From the words she said_

_She showed that this time_

_She wasn't Imai for him…_

_She was now, Hotaru…_

"_Hotaru." He whispered under the snow. Being close to him, Hotaru didn't seem to hear him and closed her eyes. She placed her head gently unto his back, she wasn't cold anymore. Ruka, gained warmth this time and she was glad, very glad. He stood up slowly and walked for her…_

"When did this happen?" I uttered, I suddenly feel like more thoughts and memories slowly filled my head…

"_What? Xiao Rune, he's from my past," she replied. "Those 5 months is history so, don't bother your head about it." She paused and I waited her to say more. "To tell you the truth, I never liked the kiss." She sighed once more and gazed at me, I didn't look back._

"_But, you know what?" She waited for me, though; I was worried of what I might say again to her. She waited for awhile and then sighed once more. "I never got to say thanks for what you did. I'm grateful that you didn't make much of what happened or even told Natsume about it. I'm happy you went with what I said with Mitsuki-sensei. And most of all," her tone become gentle, "I'm obliged to know you were there to help."_

_I can feel my cheeks burn and blush deep. I was somewhat happy of what she said. She made me feel better, different and happy. She made me feel a way I felt so much special in her eyes. Like, there was more than her being my friend_

_Yeah, I know_

_Just like that._

_I smiled and lifted my head. I looked at her and she was looking straight at me._

_I just can't help but blush_

Then I felt that yes, "I remember that." I can feel more and more…

"_She would never love me," he sighed and placed his back coolly on a solid wall. "I'm weak, she'd never love me."_

_While he was drowning himself with endless thoughts of her… remembering those times how she felt so weak unto his arms, the times where she accidentally captured his heart without knowing it_

"_I guess it is true that regret comes last," a voice told him. He looked to where it came from to see a female with long, deep azure hair with shades of black at the end of her side bangs, tied in a low pony, her eyes were of beautiful jade, piercing into anything it gazes. She was beautiful, but deadly, seeing that she has a control device on her right ear. It was a dangling silver cross._

"_Yui?" He murmured and blinked his eyes several times. The teen just nodded her head. Sakamoto Yui is her name; she's got the Alice of Devil Eye. It means she can bring a person through his/her worst nightmare, it gives her the strength and stealth she has now. As well, she has the limiting alice. _

"_Nogi, what the hell is happening to you?" She asked him coldly. She was just like Natsume, she came to the Academy together with Xiao Rune 3 years ago. _

"_Why are you asking me that?" He frowned and faced the ground. _

"_Hyuuga told me to," she said. _

"I felt at lost…"

_I felt my heart burst, shatter slowly as my tears filled up faster, my heart almost stop beating as I can feel it break in me… I can never mend it now_

"_Hotaru… I…" I wish I could say the words I want to say to you… the words I've always wanted to say so badly…_

"_I lo-lo…"_

_The words that kept my heart in tack for all this time you captured my heart in a sudden chance.._

"_I love…"_

_But then everything ended so sudden… I can never see you again…_

"_I love yo-yo…"_

_Hoping somehow you'll_

"_I love you…"_

_Somehow, you'll love me too…_

_My eyes were half lidded yet still full of undying tears, wishing somehow she was beside me to hear all of this pain…_

"_Hotaru… I've always loved you…" I uttered slowly as I felt my tears still flow but my eyes closing slowly. My whole body numbed and cold… _

_My heart broken into pieces as my heart still longed for her_

_Her smile_

_Her eyes_

_Her everything_

_I can still see myself running after her…_

_After her…_

_But she broke my heart too much as I can bear…_

"_I love you…"_

"I remember now!" I uttered as tears flowed from my eyes. "I remember, I remember…"

"That's good to hear." Yui uttered and sat back with me

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_A/N: I finished 2 chapters in one day! Err... sorta… well!! I just hope you review and please… I really really need it! The next chapter will be different, here's a sneak of the lines…_

"_I want to fight for her so badly…" -Ruka_

"_Get a hold of yourself!" -Yui_

"_Yes!" Yui_

"_Xiao Rune and Nogi Ruka! Please come up in the stage." -announcer_

"_I won't lose her to you!" - Ruka_

"_Ruka… Please…" - Hotaru_

"_I did this for you…"- Ruka_

"_A Christmas dragonfly?" - Hotaru_

"_Xiao Rune… I know what you feel…" - Yui_

"_Yui, how?" – Xiao Rune_

_Well that's that! Gotta go and stay reading and reviewing!  
_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	17. A Girl to Win I: Realization

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Well, if you read the line preview at the last chapter, you'd probably have a clue of what's next! I know that there are people there that read and do not review! **REVIEW! **Then again, I don't want to disappoint you but the preview I gave you at the last chapter will not be shown here but at the following chapter. Some of them though, but not all. If I do, this chapter will be too long and boring. Not a good choice so here's the next chapter!

_**Mk**: Oh yeah! And I want to thank **Canrolii** for actually reviewing almost all of my chapters! Thanks and I promise to make it up to all of your questions. _

_**FIRST**: Xiao Rune, it's supposed to be a Chinese name. I never thought of it before because Xiao Rune was a name I used before in a story, though I never got to finish it. He's a cardcaptor and his cards were given to a Chinese family. So I guess it's Chinese, well, for me._

_**SECOND**: Yes, Mikan is in special training in the Alice Academy. Her nullification Alice is very rare, only once in a lifetime chance for the Academy to have someone like her so she's training with Natsume. Well, I actually did that so Ruka and Hotaru would be the main attraction in the story._

_**THIRD**: Hmm, the dragonfly part? If you read the chapter one, there's the story about the dragonfly. Well, at the last part, you'll see… it's a twist!_

**_And I also want to thank Xian-pyon for reviewing! And also Yuuri for being an avid reader!_**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

Chapter 16: A Girl to Win I, Realization

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"I remember now! I remember now!" The voice echoed against Yui's voice over and over again as the blonde sobbed his way out of his shell.

Yui kept silent as she glanced at Ruka, his palms covering his face and his body bent down. She watched what the 'strength' he had led to. She watched him intently, knowing that all the erased memories are starting to fill up his mind again, slowly torturing his heart, piercing with images of Imai and Xiao Rune.

After awhile, Ruka slowly took his hands from his face, eyes covered with tears and endless sorrow. Yui knew everything, from the sight of his dull eyes; she knew he full remembered everything.

"That's why…" He muttered and placed his body coolly against the wall, his eyes averted to the falling snow and tears just flowed by themselves. Endless tears that showed her endless sorrow, it was such a pity though. A strong alice bowing down for such an emotion like this. It was something no one can fathom.

"Pitiful," Yui muttered under her breath. Ruka kept his tears flowing; she knew that she could never stop it. Nothing in this world could stop his tears; it was only "her" job, Imai's job.

"Xiao Rune and Hotaru," he said dully. "I remember." Yui lowered her head and caressed her long jade tresses. She knew she had to keep quiet and let him be, even though her master told her to help him at any cost at all.

"I saw them together, earlier, in the party," he continued. "They were so happy, the also held hands and I guess…"

"I felt the pain just push through me," he added and more tears flowed. "Everything we went through, I felt her slowly slipping from my hands, like sand. Then she looked at me and frowned. I could never, ever…"

"Ever forget the way her eyes pierced through my soul…"

His heart was trapped in the snow, his body was there, sitting with Yui watching the snow fall. Though half of his mind was back, half of it was still entrapped in the snow. Still half of his eyes see the hallucinations of the falling snow over him as his eyes were still filled with tears. How he sees those illusions so clearly, he can still feel the sorrow deep, deep in his heart. How every detail punctured his soul, how he felt his life was nothing but filth in the air.

"Ruka… please…" She knew words would never stop his heart for breaking, from his wings fading, from his life being lifeless and dull. She knew that there was nothing to do, but to push him over the cliff and wake him up.

"Forget that," he sobbed and sighed. His eyes were turning red and his face pale from the draftiness of the ambience. "I could never, ever…" His words were broken, "Get her back." She watched him; she knew that she could never do anything but to end everything.

He felt so hurt; his heart felt like it was crushed into pieces. Frozen in endless time, his heart did not know where to go. What was left for him if the one the made him walk vanished? When the one that made him speak closed her mouth? When the one that made him smile frowned? When the one that made him breathe stop? When the one that made him live went away? What was left for him? There was nothing in this world he could wish more than to be with her. To walk, talk, eat and just simply be with the woman his heart desired for…

"Why is it!" He asked himself and ran his finger through his hair. "Is asking for her that big? Is being with her such a burden? Is being selfish only about her that vast! I want to know why the world left me at this time! Why did I have to be close to her and then they'll take her away. It's not fair… it's not…" His eyes filled again with tears, sorrowful tears…

"Shut up," Yui muttered to him, making him look at her surprised.

"What?" He asked and hushed his eyes in painful shock. Yui crossed her arms and let silence cover them for awhile.

"Hyuuga-sama," she stated. "He told me you were strong, but, what happened?" His eyes widened.

"Strong?" He uttered and shook his head. "I was never-…"

"He told me this would be easy, because he said that the moment you would wake up and see the truth," she replied. "You would fight and win the battle because first of all, you always had the upper hand."

"Yui, you don't understand…"

"I smirked at Hyuuga-sama and bowed, I knew he was telling me the truth because he would never tell a lie when it comes to someone like you." She looked at him with her deadly eyes and said. "But you proved him wrong."

"What?" Ruka's eyes widened in shock. "Yui please, I don't…"

"Don't what?" She asked. Ruka shook his head and sighed.

"You don't understand?" She mocked. "Or is it because you don't want to?"

Ruka lowered his head, she just watched. She wanted everything to go piercing into his heart and mind. She wanted him to see why should he give up on her? He's just too dense to know that she has always been waiting for him but every time he makes a step, all he sees is Xiao Rune. Why doesn't he try? Why does he give up suddenly? Yui wanted to thrust those thoughts to him rigid, to make him wake up from this senseless trance.

_He needs more push, Yui though frustrated. _"What now Ruka?" She asked him coldly. "Are you just gonna prove to me how a liar Hyuuga-sama is?"

_Natsume, I don't want to disappoint him but… Ruka thought. _His head filled with thoughts. He knew Yui was making complete sense. He knew that she was right, everything that she said was right.

"Hyuuga-sama trusted you and respected you, he cares that's why he sent me to this 'mission'," she emphasized the word mission. "He wanted to show me a different lecture, not wanting me to end up like him before."

"He never changed…" He replied to himself with a small smile. "But still…"

"But still what Ruka!" She lifted her tone of voice. "Show me! Show me what Hyuuga-sama wanted me to know, to learn about? I didn't come here to see that I should be weak, that I shouldn't FIGHT for what I believe and want, right? That I should just sit here and watch everything I lived and dreamed off walk away from me. I didn't come here to learn that!"

"Fight?" Ruka's eyes widened as that word struck his heart the most. He knew Hotaru was a strong girl; she would fight for what she wants. How he wanted to tell Yui he wanted to fight as well, how he wanted to give everything for her but he couldn't. He felt so weak at this time. He felt so useless, he felt so defeated. He wanted to stop.

"Yes, fight?" She replied firmly. "Don't you know that I face missions everyday and fight? I get wounds but I try to get through. I know that it's slightly different from you right now, but I try. Because I know that if I try, I will always win."

"You'll never understand me Yui," Ruka replied and faced away. "My case is…"

"Is what?" Yui asked derisively. "Different? What difference does it make to ordinary people and Alices around you? We also go through that sort of battle and fight, are you the only person that has? What about Hyuuga-sama and Sakura? Don't you think they did undergo that stage to? They both fought and won? What is it with you!"

"You're right…" Ruka murmured in defeat. He knew she was very, very right. Natsume and Mikan did fight, and now they are happy. Mikan knew and went into Natsume's darkness, whatever it costs her because she never knew when to give up. She knew she can make a difference in Natsume's heart and change him. Natsume, helped her find the light in him and now their together, though their endless fighting will never change.

"I know you want to fight Ruka," Yui uttered. "You just don't try." He nodded in affirmation.

"Yes, I do want to fight for her. I want to fight for her so badly. But I don't know; if I fight meaning I can hurt her. I think she likes Xiao Rune and to fight means I have…"

"You don't have to hurt her," Yui sighed. "To fight means you'll show her how much you love her. And I assure you, if you fight you'll win."

"How can I-…"

"Get a hold of yourself Ruka!" Yui practically shouted. "FIGHT!"

Ruka smiled at her, his tears finally ended and his spirits up. Yui finally sighed heavily, smirked and stood up, handing him her hand.

"Learned you lesson?" She asked. Ruka stared at her hand and nodded as he took it and stood up as well.

"I sure did."

"Good because you've got a girl to win." She smirked at him.

"Hai!"

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	18. Deceptions to Precisions

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Well people… here's the next chapter and pLEASE review… and I think the time is right for Xiao Rune to have the guts as well, ne?

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Chapter 17: A girl to win: Deceptions and Precision

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"Let's go inside, it's starting to freeze here." Yui muttered. I nodded my head; I do feel the cold winter breeze passing in through my skin.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied. I gazed at Yui, she represents Natsume so much. Her eyes and actions cold as what he used to do, but then when she talks and comforts, the same way as he does. It's like the way he masks himself away from people. I'm glad I've met her.

"Something wrong?" She asked and crossed her arms. I smiled and shook my head. I was at the end of the cliff, I was about to fall into deep sorrow but she took my hand. Even though I resisted, she made me realize that I can still fight. Even though I forced my eyes closed, she slapped me awake into reality. She made me see what I can do, what I can achieve if I fight. I never felt it was mandatory.

"God I owe you one," I uttered to her. She smirked, like Natsume, and looked at me. "Yeah, I know."

I sweat-dropped and laughed nervously. "But don't worry," she told me. "There's one way you can atone for what you did."

"What is it then?" I asked. I owe her so much. If she wasn't there, it may have transpired to me to do suicide tomorrow. If she didn't wake me up, I would've been lost in the abyss of our past. If she wasn't there, Hotaru was long gone.

"Do you know the story?" She asked me as we went back to the party. I looked at the clock; it was 4:00 pm.

"What story?" I asked her. She sat down on a chair near a huge window, showing the endless snow covering against the earth. I sat beside her but her eyes only gaped outside.

"The story, Christmas Dragonfly," she replied simply.

"Christmas what?" I asked curiously.

"I guess you haven't heard about it," she said to me. I nodded my head.

"What about it anyways?" I asked her. What's Christmas Dragonfly gotta do with me? I know its Christmas and everything, but…

"That's exactly how you're going to repay me." She smirked.

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Silence

Emptiness

Endless

Zilch

Lifeless

Sorrow

I could sense all of those things in her. I felt so contrary to her. She would smile weakly only to me, and even her smiles would be sham. I just couldn't understand why, how Ruka found such a deep hole in her heart and somehow fit in and filled it. How my inclination and conjecture about it filled me. I wanted to know about it so much.

Somehow I guess, hoping I could do the same as well.

"Hotaru," I called her name. I know why she came with me, it wasn't because she liked to. "Are you ok?" I knew she wasn't, I knew she would just say yes without meaning.

She looked surprised, like waking up from her stupor. What was she thinking? I felt my heart sank to my stomach, I frowned. I could never do anything to alleviate her pain; I could never give her all she wanted.

It was because I was not the one she wanted.

"Xiao Rune, naze?" She asked me. Wasn't I supposed to be one asking that? Why can't she forget him? Why can't she just let go?

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" I faked a smile like she does. "You seemed to be in a daze. Are you ok? Do you need rest or something?"

She smiled at me, she was beautiful. She was a goddess for me; she was the only one I could see that could smile like that. Her hair looked like silk; her skin was pale as snow, I always go fanatical when she smiles. Even though it was spurious, I told myself that it was real. I felt like I was the one in the daze. I felt so dense.

"Oh, don't worry about it." Her voice showed a tint of uncertainty. She could never hide anything from me.

"Oh, is that so?" I asked her. She shook her head and sighed.

"I guess not," she replied. I was somewhat glad; she told me the truth for once.

"Tell me everything Hotaru," I pleaded her. I had enough, even though a part of me didn't want to know it. I know it is what is right; I know that it is what I should know.

I know that I have to wake up from my delusion someday

And the sooner, the better

"What?" She asked in shock. I bit my lower lip; I felt my tears filling up my eyes. No, this can't be right can it? It all feels so awkward yet, it all feels so right. I want this to end; I don't want to live in this senseless dreams and hallucinations. I want to wake up; I want to see the world once more. I want to amble away, I want to stop

As I held my tears, I held her hand as well, "Please Hotaru…" I begged her. She meant so much to me. She meant everything to me. My life, my dream, my love… "I want to know the truth."

"Xiao Rune, I… I," she stuttered apprehensively. The more times I hear her soft voice, the more my tears fill my eyes. The more I want to let them fall endlessly, the more I want to just break down in front of her and cry. "I don't know what you mean…"

"Hotaru," I gathered my strength. I sighed heavily; it was no more but a mask. I want to make it fall, I had enough, and I can't take it anymore. I… I just can't…

"I love you…"

I felt the tears from my eyes suddenly burst

Arigato

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Silence, it surrounded as like it was a gift from heaven

Everything seemed to calm, so untouched, so serene

Both of our eyes never met, our lips quivered because of the draftiness around us. My fingers were entwined with each other, my eyes filled with sorrow and despondency, but I had a better reason to smile. I finally gathered my strength to tell her my feelings. She just led me outside here; we watched the snow fall in front of our very eyes.

I gazed at her, her eyes unreadable to me, as always. Her eyes were just looking, simply staring at the view in front of us. Neither of us wanted to speak, wanted to break the silence

Silence…

Silence…

Then…

"Xiao Rune," her tiny voice called my name. I smiled wider and closed my eyes. I didn't want to speak. It was her turn; I wanted to know the truth.

"Hn," I replied.

"I… I…" She murmured. Why can't she just say it? I closed my eyes tighter, I don't want to look at her, and I don't want to see her face. I don't want to see the way she looks now; I don't want to see it…

"I'm so sorry…" Her voice seemed to be like harmony, slowly fading away. I felt my heart break, I felt the feeling I never wanted to.

I felt like I finally found everything that would make me happy

And just find out that it wasn't actually for me…

My eyes were closed but my tears wouldn't stop… I can't… I can't… I can't stop my heart from breaking… I can't stop my eyes from swelling…

I can't stop myself from loving her…

I can't…

"Xiao Rune, please," her voice sounded sobbing. "Stop crying…"

I smiled but it can never stop my tears, my eyes were closed and yet, I felt as if they were wide open. I felt as if my eyes were waterfalls...

My heart hurts so much… so much…

"Xiao Rune, I'm so sorry," she repeated. I can sense that she's crying, just like me. I smirked.

"Why should you be sorry?" I asked her. "Why should you cry like me?"

"Because, it's because…" she paused and took a deep breath, "It's because…"

"Hush…"

"I hurt you so much," she told me and sobbed. "I never wanted to hurt you. I, I just… I just…"

I smiled and opened my eyes, I saw everything. I saw how she looked at me. I saw how her eyes swelled because of tears I made. I smiled and wiped her tears away.

"It doesn't matter anymore," I told her. I took her hand and smiled, "Don't worry."

"But, but Xiao Rune…"

"Hotaru," I told her. "All I want you to do is please… please… be honest with me."

She nodded her head in reply.

"Do you love Nogi Ruka?"

"Hai…"

I smiled; it feels like I finally found the rest I was looking for

Even though my heart ache hurt so much

I was glad she finally freed from my delusion

Arigato…

"Don't worry; I'm sure he does too…"

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_A/N: Well, that's that. I'm sorry if this chapter's real boring and blabla but I need it for the next chapter. I also wanted to tell you guys that I'll have a hard time updating because exams coming up… I'll still try! _

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	19. Put the Plan in Action

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Hello people… I'm really sorry for the long updates and I know most of you won't even bother to read this but please… please… I promised that I'll finish it so I would. This damn computer attracted viruses 3 times… argh,…. I'm really sorry…. I just want to finish this…

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox**

Chapter 19: Put the Plan in Action

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"Christmas Dragonfly…" A teen with short blonde hair muttered under his breath. "I literally have to fight with Xiao Rune?"

Yui told him the legend of the Christmas Dragonfly…

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"_Christmas Dragonfly," Yui uttered emotionlessly. She had her back coolly placed against the cold wall of the room. Ruka was silent, his head curious from what the cold teenager was about to tell him. _

_The warm breath from her mouth let out small sigh, she crossed her slender arms together, her impassive eyes seems to be gazing into an abyss in the spirit filled crowd. Ruka could only stay silent and tangle his long fingers against each other. _

"_They say that when Christmas comes and a couple sees a Dragonfly, they're destined to be together." She stated coldly. _

"_So I've heard, from some of my classmates," Ruka replied. "But I don't know the real story behind it." He grinned at her, she could only stare. _

"_What's up with the grin?" She asked, feeling a little uneasy. How could he have the strength to grin like that when only a little while earlier he was filled with so much melancholy causing him to loose almost everything about the woman he would live his life for? How could he have the strength to listen to love stories like this when he almost risked his insanity for it? _

"_Nothing really," he giggled a little. Yui raised an eye brow, her jade eyes filled with an urge to know more about this "love" thing. _

"_Could love really make someone so strong yet so vulnerable?" She thought to herself. She has been wondering all this time, this love triangle got her head all messed up. She was never into this thing, she was just asked by Hyuuga Natsume to do so. But now, she's so in it that she feels she can't rise above it without actually helping Ruka. _

_And by helping him_

_She learns more…_

"_I just can't believe you, Yui." Ruka's voice awakened her from her thoughts. _

"_What's not to believe?" She asked. Ruka smiled at her, yet his eyes filled with sorrow. Yui's head was getting more and more confused. Could love give someone so much strength at the same time a flaw equally great? How could strength be equal to a limitation?_

"_That you actually know a love story," he mocked her. Yui twitched but bit her lower lip. _

"_There's some things that can't be helped you know." She simply replied. _

_Ruka lowered his head and said in a low, solemn tone, "Yes, I guess so. Some things just can't be helped."_

_Yui raised an eye brow and kept silent. She knew what he meant, "So, love can't be helped?"_

_Ruka let out a huge sigh escape from his lips, "Yeah, I can't be helped. Neither is the pain with it."_

"_Pain?" Yui asked. "Isn't love supposed to be happiness?" She was confused; she lived in a world of darkness, a world where laughter, happiness and liveliness was banished forever, where pain and blankness covered everything. She was taught never to open herself as she is now. She was taught to stay as a shell to everyone, feelings made her weak, she was taught that she must live and always be unaccompanied by anyone else. _

_But now, this mission taught her something diverse…_

_  
And she has the advocate to learn more…_

"_I guess so," Ruka replied bitterly. "Love is a very complex word, one word that can be given millions of meaning."_

"_Millions ne?" She stated. "I can see so…" She murmured against the wind. _

_Ruka shook and lifted his head, "So, you were saying?"_

_Yui gave him a last glance and continued, "There were two Alice, who were in love with each other, but their Alices pulled them apart. The girl had the Alice to change into different animals. While, the boy suffered the fate of having a life limiting Alice, he has the Alice to crush or destroy anything he applies force with." _

"_Natsume…" Ruka murmured to himself after hearing the boy in Yui's story. He sighed... "Natsume and Yui suffered the same fate…"_

_Yui glanced at him, he seemed to be planted on his seat, his eyes watching his playful hands play with each other. "As usual, with the Alice of the boy, he was sent to different places with different missions. And whenever he got back, he was banned to see anyone. But the girl, she couldn't accept it. Because of the boy's missions and trainings, they could barely see each other. As time passed, the boy's banishment from the public got worse. He was prohibited to talk with anyone at all, have company with anyone or etc." _

"_Why?" Ruka asked. The story was just like Natsume's life. He somewhat shared the same fate like the boy. But, he's happy with Mikan now. He's life everyday with her in missions is being reduced. "Natsume…"_

"_Because they said that the boy's Alice was getting more powerful and sometimes he himself can't control it." Yui replied like it was the simplest thing in the world. Ruka just nodded in reply. _

_Yui continued, "And because of that, he and the girl never got a second to talk or be with each other. Whenever they pass each other in public places, they could only have a small chance to look at each other and smile. The girl couldn't take it so every night she would transform herself into a dragonfly and fly to the boy's room. Then, they would share the night together and when the sun breaks from its slumber, the girl would hurry and fly back to her room and start the day all over again."_

"_The one Christmas day, the girl visited the boy in the morning. It was freezing cold and the teachers were preparing for a Christmas Party later that night so they had no classes. The girl was happy to actually spend more time with the boy. But when she came, she found him lying in his bed, in deep pain. She tried to comfort him in any way possible but the pain was starting to get the better of him. He started to shout and scream in pain while the girl could only watch him and hold his hand with tears in her eyes." Yui paused for awhile, she wanted to know how much this legend would affect him. _

"_Then, what happened?" Ruka asked inquisitively. He felt so into Yui's story, a strong gravity from his current position and the boy's story. A love that seemed to be hopeless. He was deeply affected._

_Yui smirked, she saw the answer deep in his baby blue eyes, yup, and he was affected all right. "Instead of things getting better, everything got worse. The boy's Alice started to slowly destroy everything around him. The tables started to explode, vases suddenly burst. The girl stiffened for awhile but she has no choice, she transformed back into a dragonfly and flew away, with no other feeling but deep pain. Then, the darkness came. The school had a Christmas Party just like this. The girl went for no reason at all, as she walked through the room with no particular motive she saw the boy pass her and dissolve into the crowd. She turned into a dragonfly as quick as she can and followed him through the crowd. She thought that if she followed him as a dragonfly, he would remember her."_

"_As she passed through the crowd and followed his trace, she found him alone in the night watching the flowing river. As she flew next to him and he caught her, not actually knowing she was her. He faced her with tears and said how much he loved the girl, how sorry he was to just scare her away earlier. He told her so much that deep inside the girl/dragonfly could only cry."_

"_When he was about to transform back into a girl, they boys eyes started to be filled with tears as he told her that he was about to die soon. At this very Christmas his life would end. The girl quickly transformed back to a girl and comforted him on his last days. Then, the boy's life came to an end. The girl could only cry and cry when a group of dragonflies flew to them, somehow watching the girl's tears just flow. Then, the girl felt no more urge to live anymore. Then, a ray of light flew from her body covering every dragonfly suddenly…"_

"_The next morning, their bodies were found dead, together with each other. They were both dead." Yui ended her story with a small sigh from her lips. Ruka could only stare down, a tragic love story, could his life end the same as well? _

"_So, what's up with you?" Yui asked, feeling the awkward silence from her companion. "Like it, tragic isn't it?"_

_With a long moment of silence, Ruka opened his lips and uttered, "Yes, tragic." _

"_Hmm, so you've noticed." She said. She sat down with him, feeling the stillness that enclosed them for awhile. Tragic, yes, the boy's and girl's lives were both tragic. _

"_Yet, what do the dragonflies have to do with it?" Ruka asked out of the blue. _

"_They say that the light that came from the girl covered the butterflies, a long symbol of love and passion. Their bodies were found in a spot with different colored dragonflies together." She explained. _

_Ruka stayed in silence and Yui stood up and started to walk away._

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Yet, he still can't understand. What does a legend about dragonflies and tragedy have to do with fighting for Hotaru? When he asked her where she was going, all she said was:

"I thought you wanted to fight for her?"

"What the heck does she mean by that?" He muttered under his breath.

The room was still filled with the Party Spirit, everyone was a having a wonderful time, he felt that he wasn't one of them. He was slowly drifting away from the world, thinking deeply into his head…

Suddenly… A voice made the crowd quiet…

A emotionless, deadly voice…

"Listen everyone," a teen with a silver cross dangling from her right ear, longs strands of azure hair flying with the soft gush of the wind, deadly jade eyes looking straight forward.

"Yui!?" Ruka voiced at shock. What the heck will the Ice Queen be doing there! He ran nearer to the stage and watched her do her thing.

Yui stared down at everyone from the platform, eyes staring into her, some looking from top bottom. She sighed and looked at Ruka, her little blonde pet looking very surprised to see her exposing her soul to everyone. She was surprised herself; she didn't know how or why she got so deeply attached to Ruka's problem

Was it only because Natsume told her to?

Or she felt curious…

Whatever the damn reason was, she wanted to stop it. She wanted to stop the foolishness that came through her to stand in front of everybody and get back into living her own life. A life of darkness and emptiness…

_Tch… _

The silence in the room was starting to thin, she noticed she caught their attention a little to longer to make them quiet. Small voices are starting be heard. She took one last glance at Ruka and continued this stupidity

"The Academy has a certain promo this Christmas," she lied. This was never in the program, at first the guard wouldn't let her in the control room and into the stage but after a short time of convincing that didn't really work. Her patience with them ran out and made them see nightmares they could've never imagined. She couldn't believe she risked a part of her life just to do this idiotic work.

She looked at everyone once more; they looked more interested to listen this time, that's good. She continued, "The Academy has chosen to give a prize to whoever wins the contest."

The crowd was getting more excited, whatever the prize was or whatever the contest was about.

As for Ruka, he felt more awkward about what Yui's currently doing.

"And the prize is," Yui held out something from her pocket which made everything stare at awe. It was a silver necklace, chained with a thin silver line, it's pendant…

"A silver…" Ruka's eyes widened. "Dragonfly…"

"This pendant will be the prize to anyone who wins the contest." Yui explained. "They say that if you give this to the one you love, you will be destined lovers."

Everyone was suddenly filled with the Valentines Spirit in the middle of Christmas. Others could only stare, others want to jump and have the necklace as quick as possible.

"The academy has already chosen the contestants…" Yui took a deep breath before she told their names. Everyone waited with excitement.

"Nogi Ruka and Shen Xiao Rune."

"**AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **

"**RUKA-KUN!!!"**

"**XIAO RUNE-KUN!"**

"**AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"  
**

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_A/n: I hope you like and forgive me for the reall late update_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	20. The Real Fight

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Here's the next chapter… This is a sorta weird chapter… Harhar! It's a sudden twist…

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox**

Chapter 20: The Real Fight

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Every single female in the room screamed, juniors, seniors, freshmen and even those with an unstable gender as the whole room shook in terror. Yui's eyes twitched… she didn't like noise… she never did…

"Ai! Ruka-kun!"

"XIAO RUNE-SAMA!"

"Ruka's cuter!"

"Xiao Rune's cutest!"

"WAii!!! They're both cute and awesome!"

"I LOVE YOU RUKA!"

"I"LL DIE FOR XIAO RUNE!"

"AI! I LOVE YOU BOTH!"

"Shen-sama! Nogi-sama!"

"Shen-sempai! KAWAIII!!!!!!!"

"Nogi-sempai!"

Yui's eye twitched some more, the noise didn't want to subside at all…

"Ehehe…" Xiao Rune and Ruka both laughed nervously as the reached the center of the stage. Every singly female shouting their names, screaming their souls off their bodies, some already making their way to the stage, having little fights who will go first, to just have a glimpse of get their hands on the two males. Others were praising them, worshiping them like they were gods. Others rammed near the stage, just to get a better glance of the two. Others were already in the back stage, just fighting whoever "owns" them or who was better between the two of them. Others started popping from different places just to get near them. The screaming won't stop and it seemed it wasn't ready to stop yet…

Ruka loosened his collar and gulp, things couldn't get uglier… The seemingly spacious hall was filled with millions of girls in a second. Filled from the sound of their names from the stage and it seemed that every single male were covered and crushed in the equivalent second. Power of the female magnetism to cute and hot guys… _(MK: BLeh!) _

He hated whatever he had. No one can fathom how much he'll give away just to have a simple, ostracized life. Away from the screaming agitation of every single psyche of each female in the campus, he'd do anything just to shake them off. He's had enough of the running around, trying to elude from the girls.

And just when he thought things couldn't get uglier…

"Yui!?" Xiao Rune and backed away from the fuming teen. His golden eyes widened in horror, his body stiffened from the dangerous girl's aura than pushed through him. He felt his body weaken just from the sight, adding to that the endless call of girls for him and his name. This wasn't the best Christmas in his life.

Ruka's eyes widened…

He was wrong

He was dead wrong

Things were getting uglier…

And he's going to be dead after it

"Yui!!" Ruka shouted, he wanted to get near her but fear got the better of him. He can see her eyes, her eyes started to change color, from deadly green to a forbidding color of crimson with black slash marks. As her aura got stronger, so did the crowd's yelling and screams. Ruka took one step forward when he suddenly fell to the ground.

"Ouch," he murmured as he rubbed his bottom. He suddenly fell from the vibration from the girls' screams.

"Ooof!" Xiao Rune suddenly sat down from the enormous force that covered Yui. A black shadow suddenly started to cover her body. Ruka looked nervous; he didn't want to die here! Suddenly…

"Ruka-kun!"

"Xiao Rune-kun!"

"Kawaii!!"

"HEAVEN IN MY HANDS!"

"WAII!!!"

"KAWAI!!!!!"

"AISHITERU!"

"MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!"

"Nani!?" Xiao Rune and Ruka shouted in unison as all their hairs rose to their ends. Girls were running after them in the stage, screaming and worshiping their names, their arms wide open like they were some huge stuff toys given away for free.

"What are we going to do now?" Xiao Rune asked, he could barely stand as the females were getting to them, the stage shook and it seemed impossible to stand, adding it with Yui's dangerous aura shadowing the place. He could die in to reasons: Getting trodden by a swarm of dying hard fans or actually having the probability to visit hell in just a second because of Yui's Devil Eye Alice!

"Uhm…" Ruka had no time to think, he looked at Yui, and none have seemed to notice her eyes because her form was in the shadows of the stage, the dreadful change. He looked to his left; he saw his fans running toward him and Xiao Rune. He took one last glimpse at Yui before he turned to Xiao Rune. "Just take care of the girls for me!" He hurriedly answers in reply and runs to Yui. He had to eat his fear or he'll die here.

"What!" Xiao Rune finally stood up and turned around to see the girls only inches from him. He had no choice and stood up, it was to act like clown than to totally get crush or visit hell. It was to act like a stand up comedian or die. "ARGH! NOGI! YOU OWE ME!"

Ruka shook his head and never tried to look back. Whatever Xiao Rune was doing, it was his fault.

He reached Yui and his body stiffened for awhile. Her atmosphere felt like it crushed every single organ in him in just a second. Unspeakable fear and pain covered him because of Yui's Alice. He shook his head and sighed, he was about to grab her shoulders when…

"Ouch!" He stepped back and bit his lower lip. He just got electrified! The spark of electricity from Yui ran through his body in seconds and felt like it slashed through his nerves. His hands felt numb and when he tried to move them, "Argh!" Pain was quickly transported to his brain.

"Yui!" He shouted. But there was no avail, he was afraid to touch her again; strength was drained from his body through fear. **WHAT THE HECK WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO? **If he'd touch her, he'll die in a second, he didn't want to die! He looked at her eyes and stiffened… Her eyes…

They were pure red; it was like you can see hell through them. Dark slash marks that makes her eyes more intimidating. He felt his body froze, his feet planted to the ground, he couldn't move an inch. He's eyes were getting painful but he couldn't close them, Yui's eyes… It felt like it was eating his soul. Like, it was a gateway to hell itself. He felt pain run through his body, but his eyes were wide awake. He couldn't move and he was getting more pain through his body. Suddenly, he felt like his soul was getting sold to the devil when…

"AIII!! AISHITERU SHEN-SAMA!"

"KAWAII!!"

"AI!"

Ruka shook his head, waking up from hid deadly daze; he thought that his head was going to explode. He breathed heavily placing his hand over his chest, he felt like he was walking through hell's gate already, and the twinge was horrendous. He can still feel his mind throbbing. But…

He looked around him; the girls didn't reach him there. Finally feeling something good happened today. He sighed heavily and run his fingers through his sweaty head. He turned around and saw…

"Ai! You're so wonderful Xiao Rune-kun!"

"I like you better than Nogi!"

"**YUP!" EVERY girl screamed, shifting the stage a little. **

He twitched when he saw Xiao Rune doing his "magic" with the girls. His golden eyes hiding the hatred and disgust of what he was currently doing because Ruka told him to. He was forming hearts, flowers and other girly things for every single girl on stage with his ice Alice, and with that a killer smile that knock every girl from their feet to heaven. Ruka could only stare, this was his "creation" or "fault" was the better term for it actually.

"As you wish my ladies…" Xiao Rune voiced with a gentle, manly tone as he gave some girl a frozen figure of a heart and a magical smile that made the girl almost faint. Even though deep inside he wanted to just run out or even fly away from his current position.

Ruka sighed and looked at Yui's form. She was going to erupt soon because of the girl's screaming… he had to stop it…

Subsequently, he saw two familiar items Yui had in her hands a bit earlier. He stared at them both, wondering why he had a deep connection to it, he had the sudden urge to take it and do something real stupid with it.

"Ruka…" A small, timid voice ran through his head. He turned around; all he saw was the cracking walls, crushed men and his dying hard fans.

"Ruka…" The voice called him again. He knew that voice so well, it belonged to the girl that drove him crazy all this time. His eyes searched through the crowd, he couldn't find her. His heart started to thump faster, like the feeling when he fell in love with her.

A swift wind averted his gaze to the microphone and the silver dragonfly necklace. His feelings were mystified and even his thoughts. He has this unbearable urge and felt his feet moving without control. Suddenly…

A abrupt thought came through his head

Could it be?

Does Yui want him to actually…

Is this what she meant by fight?

That he has to get through his screaming fan girls and do not be afraid

So his enemy isn't Xiao Rune at all…

"It was me all along…" He whispered. Xiao Rune, he couldn't have been the one taking Hotaru away from him at all. Xiao Rune was like him, though he was stronger. What was keeping him away from Hotaru was…

His weakness, he was weak and even though he knew it from the very start, he thought that he already conquered it. But no, he was wrong. Yui never wanted him to fight Xiao Rune, that's she meant by:

**XOXOX**

"_Yes, I do want to fight for her. I want to fight for her so badly. But I don't know; if I fight meaning I can hurt her. I think she likes Xiao Rune and to fight means I have…"_

"_You don't have to hurt her," Yui sighed. "To fight means you'll show her how much you love her. And I assure you, if you fight you'll win."_

"_Get a hold of yourself Ruka!" Yui practically shouted. "FIGHT!"_

**XOXOX**

She wasn't going to get hurt at all! That's what she meant, if he fights, he'll win. It doesn't mean he beats up Xiao Rune but it means… He'll win her somehow… he won't loose. He'll just have to beat himself up and shout to the whole world how much he loves her.

"Thanks, thanks a lot." He murmured to Yui and took the microphone and buried the necklace into his pockets. He neared his lips to the microphone and took one last breath, like his last breath would escape from his body.

"I…" He said, it was like a only a silent whisper. No one actually took notice, he was holding the microphone in his hands but he felt so scared. He felt like it was better to see hell than actually win this fight Yui told him.

"I…" He voiced a little louder. While standing there, he felt everything flashbacking through his head. He can feel his body shiver.

"_Love is a complex word…" He remembered himself saying. He knew he was right… totally right… _

But… he has nothing else…

He has to be free

And he has to win…

"I lo…" He felt like backing out. He felt like loosing. He felt like it was better just to keep everything to him; he felt the cold sweat running across his pale skin. He couldn't do this! He was weakling… He couldn't win anything… He wasted so many times just to tell Mikan about his silly crush but now! To tell his own BLACKMAILER he loved her is something he felt like dying before he could actually do it.

"_I thought you want to fight for her?" Yui's cold voice passed through his head. _His eyes widened in shock, Yui did everything to help him. She was never into it in the first place. Natsume told her so. And Natsume, even though he isn't here now, what Yui is doing is what he told her to do! People, people around him has been telling him to fight without him noticing.

He can't just let them down…

But…

He knew he could never deserve someone like her

She was a goddess while he was a mere useless and fearful human…

**XOXOXO**

"_Ne Ruka-kun, err… do you still, I mean, still like Mi-Mikan?" She stuttered out of the sudden. I looked at her to my surprise, her fingers were entwined with her long raven hair and her eyes seemed to be bothered with her own thoughts and questions._

_But, I didn't blush at her question_

_Hearing the word 'like' and 'Mikan' doesn't affect me anyone until this day_

_Now, I feel that I don't care about her_

_I feel that I want to shout, "NO WAY!"_

_I feel glad I gave her up to Natsume and I don't feel hurt_

"_No, not anymore I guess." I answered her gently. She blinked her eyes several times and looked at me strangely. She kept staring at me like I did something wrong or a monster was behind me. I stared back with mixed expressions and 'what' and 'why.'_

"_What is it?" I asked her and raised an eye brow. She sighed and shook her head._

"_It's nothing." She replied. She looked at me with her stunning violet eyes. "I was just a bit surprised, you answered my question, calmly."_

"_Oh that," I chuckled a bit and she did the same._

_I loved her hearing her voice ring through my ears_

_I loved seeing her smile, laugh especially if it's because of me_

_I loved everything about her_

_**WAIT!!!!!!**_

_I did **NOT **just think of that_

_NO WAY!!!!_

_I gazed her from head to toe, she was smiling and her hair was no loose. She had skin pale as snow, her hair was dark as the night, her eyes were of cool shades of violet, and she made me smile_

_She made me laugh_

_She made me feel in comfort_

_I blushed at those thoughts of her_

_She made me feel the way Mikan did years ago_

_I placed my hand over my chest and closed my eyes for awhile_

_I smiled, maybe I am…_

"_Ne, Ruka, does it mean you like someone else now?" She asked me out of the blue. I can sense she seemed to be a little bit nervous, I wonder why._

_I felt my heart suddenly pump faster_

_I felt my body sweat_

_I felt my head swirling with thoughts_

"_Err…." I murmured. Man, I feel so nervous and my blush got deeper every second. Why is this happening!_

"_It's ok, it's ok if-"_

"_Yeah, I like someone," I answered her straight to the point. "Not only like, I love her more than anything." I lowered my head and shook it, "I was wondering why I only noticed it now, she was always there but I never paid attention to her." _

**XOXOXO**

_And I guess I never told her who it was…_

_This is my chance to say something true to her_…

_For once_

"I… Love…"

"_The faster the better!" He mentally slapped himself. _Ruka closed his eyes like a small child hiding from the so called monsters. He bit his lower lip and mustered everything strength he had…

"I love you Imai Hotaru!"

The room stood in shock and silence covered them, like an angel fro heaven passed them. Ruka looked around, his blue eyes starting to fill with warm tears. He found Hotaru, in the state of shock, her eyes filled with tears as well. Ruka couldn't do anything but stare at her, he couldn't move his eyes. He wanted to see her everyday. He felt like they were alone, like they were the only to people in this world.

Everything's finished now…

Everything's done…

He won the fight, he wasn't weak

He told her what was in him at last…

He slowly walked to the end of the platform. His legs shaking, he announced to the whole academy his love to a 3-star, a well known Ice Queen and the sister of the president of the Student Council. He didn't care, there was nothing to care about but winning the fight, it was for Yui, Natsume and the others. It was for her as well. He didn't care whatever or how the news shook people in their minds and hearts. He didn't care; his eyes were already filled with tears suddenly…

"Wait Hotaru!" He ran after her after jumping from the stage. Running after her into the snow…

_**Could love give someone so much strength at the same time a flaw equally great? How could strength be equal to a limitation?**_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox

_A/N: Well, this suddenly came up and popped into my head. Still hope you like it… (PS: **The girls didn't notice Yui because they were too occupied by Ruka and Xiao Rune)**_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	21. Back in the Snow

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Well people… Ruka "Won" and did a sudden revelation… harhar…

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox**

Chapter 20: Back in the Snow

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox**

**XOXOX**

"_I love you Imai Hotaru!"_

_The room stood in shock and silence covered them, like an angel fro heaven passed them. Ruka looked around, his blue eyes starting to fill with warm tears. He found Hotaru, in the state of shock, her eyes filled with tears as well. Ruka couldn't do anything but stare at her, he couldn't move his eyes. He wanted to see her everyday. He felt like they were alone, like they were the only to people in this world. _

_Everything's finished now… _

_Everything's done…_

_He won the fight, he wasn't weak_

_He told her what was in him at last… _

_He slowly walked to the end of the platform. His legs shaking, he announced to the whole academy his love to a 3-star, a well known Ice Queen and the sister of the president of the Student Council. He didn't care, there was nothing to care about but winning the fight, it was for Yui, Natsume and the others. It was for her especially. He didn't care whatever or how the news shook people in their minds and hearts. He didn't care; his eyes were already filled with tears suddenly… _

"_Wait Hotaru!" He ran after her after jumping from the stage. Running after her into the snow… _

**XOXOXO**

A sudden surprise, a revelation of the heart. She could not feel anything but confusion running, banging her head. She never knew what she was going to feel… everything… everything was a blur in her heart… She wondered why but her mind can't process anything anymore… She was too shaken…

"Hotaru!" A male voice called her name. "Hotaru." His warm voice shook her heart; everything about him shapes her heart in different ways. She couldn't comprehend what she was feeling, a concoction of different emotions. She loved him and she knew it; it was the reason why she was running away from him in the first place. She didn't know what to say to him, how she would face him. They were in world poles apart… He lived to be loved by people while she lived only hoping to be loved and now… Now… She shook her head and kept her eyes closed and ran she could feel the cold breeze of Christmas but she passed everything, her eyes were filled with warm tears…

Se loved him…

She'll do anything

But all in her head was

They were poles apart… People would never accept them

He'll be scorned and hated because he loved someone like her

A girl who was cold as ice, a girl who was never actually seen, only as an empty shell

Was it a joke or something?

She couldn't comprehend

Science, mathematics, logic… Her intellect couldn't process it at all…

She was for once… perplexed, deeply baffled

"Hotaru, please, wait!" Ruka yelled out, his hand reaching for her. He wondered why she ran, did he hurt her? His conscience was getting the better of his thoughts, he kept pushing to himself that telling almost everyone in the Academy he loved her wasn't a good idea. His mind kept telling him how idiotic he was, he could've done something better. She must've thought it was a joke, he barely notices her and now he tells the whole world he loves her! He felt so stupid, so useless; she must've thought everything as a lie. He knew Hotaru and how the other girls treated her and because of his stupidity things might get worse!

Is this winning a fight?

Why does it feel like it was better to loose

Than actually vanquishing your opponent

Even so, he ran after her. This was it; he couldn't turn back and just change what he did. It was a situation he left his heart with, he let his heart decide. Even though he thinks he shouldn't have done that… he made his idiotic choice and blurted his heart out. Now, it was his duty… It was now or never

Ruka chased her, Ruka couldn't do anything, and his words wouldn't stop her at all. Even so, he knew that he'd still chase her, even to the end of the world. His love for her… It was strong… How he wished it'll somehow reach her…

Please… let it reach her

Please hear me

Please just once

Please… Listen to me…

"Hotaru, please! Please… Please listen to me! Why are you running away?!" He asked frustrated. He, he just wanted her to feel his love, even if she doesn't have the same feelings

And don't return them back

Hotaru's genius mind went blank, she couldn't think of any reason to answer. She was intellectual; everyone thought she could answer anything. But, now… everything in her head faded away, just like leaves flown away by the wind… She could answer arithmetic in seconds but she couldn't answer a simple question of why. She could explain every law in physics but she can't even understand how she feels…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

She feels so…

Stupid…

**STUPID!**

"_Love isn't logical…" _A thought popped into her head. She suddenly felt weak and her feet ran slower every minute, her eyes were wide open. Her feet started to get heavy and eventually she…

She stopped running

And her eyes were wide open and filled with warm tears… She couldn't explain love… How could she have been so…

So…

Stupid

"Hotaru, please look at me, please listen…" Ruka uttered softly. Hearing his voice made her heart jump, jump with happiness. She bit her lower lip, she was happy yet, why are tears falling from her eyes? Are these tears of joy? She wanted him to say her name every time. She wanted to see him every second of her empty life. He was the only one who filled the big hole in her heart. She placed her hand over her chest and felt a tint of crimson ran against her cheeks…

She will listen to him

Because she loves him too much

"Hotaru…" Ruka neared her step by step. He wanted to touch her badly, to embrace her and calm her down. He wanted to mutter everything in his heart softly against her ears. He wanted to make her smile and make her happy. He wanted her to see what she meant to him, how she gave meaning to his life.

_Everyone saw his life like it was a star_

"Hotaru please listen…" He said and opened his arms as he slowly, step by step walked to her. He can feel the tears run from his blue eyes. He'd do anything for this girl, he'd kill, die, steal… Anything for his blackmailer… "Before, when we were young I never… noticed you."

_Everyone loved him, but…_

It was true, he never actually saw her. Sure, he sees her everyday but in his heart, she was just a shadow passing by his life. "I saw Mikan, I didn't see you. And I thought I won't even dare."

_He couldn't find someone to love himself_

Yes, it was true. Ruka disliked her, for him he was his blackmailer. She could never bring him things that brought him joy. He felt and thought she was just an empty shell, he thought of her nothing but a classmate. Mikan was the only girl in his head and heart at that time. He found no other joy and meaning in his life but Mikan

_Then he found a girl_

"Mikan's smile took me away quickly." He muttered. Hotaru could only bite her lower lip, she… she couldn't muster the strength to turn around and see his face

"But things changed Hotaru…" He murmured as more tears ran from his eyes. "When we got caught in the snow… You showed me who you really were."

_A girl with a warm smile and fell in love_

She showed him her soft side; she showed him her majestic smile. She told him to never give up when he almost did, she taught him to love without getting hurt. She told him that there was nothing he couldn't face, that with her laughs and smiles everything will be all right. She taught him there was someone more special than Mikan, that falling in love never required any competition with Natsume. That there was someone for everyone. She taught him how to love, how to love someone so deep that you'll do anything for it.

_But, things didn't work out_

"I never noticed you, but you've helped me so much. When you and I got trapped, you told me things I never thought I'd hear from you." He bit his lower lip as more tears ran from his eyes; he wanted to tell her everything he could ever tell. Every single word that will escape his lips was for her… "You taught me that I could love again."

_And she loved someone else_

Hotaru's eyes widened… she… she never knew how much… she meant for him… She wanted to jump into his arms and say everything he said to him. What he feels for her is the same how she viewed him when he entered her life…

_Then, he found a cold, lonesome girl_

"You taught me things I never thought I'll need…" He voiced with small sobs. "Because of you, I see things differently. I don't fall down because of Mikan anymore… You told me there was someone better for me…" His voice quivered, yes, he did love Mikan but… Natsume took her faster than he could. He was weak back then, and Hotaru tried to change that but, she taught him that he could do it. But it all ended in him falling in love with her…

_He never thought he'll fall in love with her_

Hotaru's lips couldn't mutter a word as more tears fell from her eyes, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never intended to show or teach him these things. For her, it was him who gave the light into her dull light. Mikan and the others were just some temporary cover for her deep sorrow, she's been alone and everyone around the school sees her nothing but an empty shell. She knew that she never worth anything big for anyone here. That's why she tries her best and studies hard. She knows that the Academy was the only one that could see her importance, living in a delusion; she knew they saw the importance of her Alice, not her. But, she kept it like that… That was her only way…

_He knew he wouldn't…_

"_But you came; you gave light to my life…" _Hotaru's thin lips formed a small smile, her tears never stopped falling. "You came to my life," she muttered to herself. "I've always thought love made people weak and that no one was there to fill this big hole in me. Then, you saw me, you caught me when I was falling, you gave me my wings… I could've fallen into deep sorrow, I relied in the Academy because I thought they were the only one who nurtured me… But I knew it was only because of my Alice…"

_But things changed between them_

"Huh?" Hotaru felt strong, warm arms around her petite waist. Her plum eyes widened, she couldn't muster a word. She felt like she was standing in front of Heaven's gate. She felt crying some more, as more tears found their way out of her happy plum eyes. Is this a dream? If it is… She doesn't want to wake up, she'll stay like this for all eternity… She felt weak in his touch, his warm body wrapped around her weak form…

_He found it hard to let go of her_

"I love you…" A masculine voice ran in her ears making her heart jump for joy. "I love you Hotaru and I'll repeat it over and over again… Because what I' feeling is true…" Ruka felt so free…

_He fell in love in a minute_

"Ruka…" Her small voice muttered as she turned around, she felt she was going to melt in his touch by his words. "I… I love… I… I love you… too…" She voiced weakly but it was loud enough for him to hear. She closed her eyes, never wanting him to let go. She could stay like that forever, she was glad someone loved her back. She now doesn't need to rely on the Academy to see her importance, no, because… Ruka told her different. He showed her whoever she was never bothered him, she was someone… someone for him…

_But again… He thought she never loved him back_

Ruka's lips formed a smirk and asked, "Really now?" Hotaru looked at his handsome face, she blushed when their faces were inches apart. But, Ruka had other things in his mind. "If you do," he dared, "Show me."

_She was cold _

Hotaru's eyes widened, but then, she smiled at the thought. She never lets go of a dare, whatever it is. She won't give up, and she knew… She was going to like it… "You know me, I don't back out." She answered with a sly grin. Ruka's smirk grew. Hotaru only raised her eye brow and pressed her gentle lips against his…

_But, he was dead wrong_

"_So this is a kiss?" They both asked themselves before loosing their senses in the kiss. _

_Because she loved him too_

The kiss was like Heaven. Ruka could feel her soft lips against his, a wonderful taste of Heaven dropped itself upon his mouth. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed deeper. He was intoxicated, it felt so good. Her lips were warm; it felt like sweet cherries melting on his lips. He heard her moan lightly, "Ruka…" She murmured between her breaths. Ruka liked it, her moans turned his mind endlessly, and he felt so warm…

_And it was his happy ending_

Hotaru broke the kiss and brushed her light hand against Ruka's pale features with a warm smile across her face.

_People always thought that he had the perfect life_

"I love you." She whispered. Ruka smiled and took the silver necklace from his pocket and wrapped it around Hotaru's neck. Hotaru touched it's pendant with a small smile painted on her lips. This was the HAPPIEST DAY of her life… yes… it is

_Everyone envied him_

"This means I love you too," he whispered and kissed her once more. She gave in happily and wrapped her arms around his neck. She liked the taste of his lips; they tasted like chocolate, melting slowly against her tongue. She felt so happy with tears of joy running from her eyes.

_But deep inside he; was lonely_

Suddenly, a light object found its way on Hotaru's shoulder. They broke the kiss and widened in what they saw…

_But when he found her_

A beautiful colored dragonfly…

_He found all the reason _

In Christmas…

_Why he should smile_

Ruka and Hotaru looked at each other, both sailing deep into each others eyes. They smiled at each other, a smile filled with love…

_Why he should laugh and breathe_

"We are meant for each other," Hotaru chuckled.

_A reason why he was to live in this world_

"Yes… We are…" He replied calmly and took the dragonfly in his hands. Hotaru looked at it with a smile on her features…

_It was all because of her…_

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox

_A/N: Harhar…the story's not finished yet… there's still something else.._

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	22. The Truth Behind Everything I

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Like I told you people, that last chapter's not the end… no one goes empty handed here! Uhm… yeaH, I forgot, Yui has blue hair and green eyes! Sorry!   
**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox**

Chapter 21: The truth behind everything I

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxox**

Everyone stood frozen, implanted on the ground…

A sudden exposure of the truth turned almost everyone into ice…

"You'll be happy now," Xiao Rune murmured to himself with a small smile even though inside of him, he could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. He knew that it would take forever to each piece back, his heart was a huge jigsaw puzzle now… No one in this world can put back into form… "Hotaru…"

Xiao Rune exited the place coolly, as if nothing really happened; he noticed Yui has gone out as well. He could only form a weak smile as he walked unto the end of the platform, he saw everyone's eyes in total wonder, gossips started to wander around but he knew those couldn't stop Ruka and Hotaru. He turned his back to view his dying hard fans, others were crying, as if the whole world fell unto their shoulders. Others were already ready to spread the news, while others fainted in surprise. Xiao Rune let off a huge sigh as he jumped off the platform and walked pass every staggered person in the place. Walking serenely while deep inside of him, he had lost the urge to live…

He reached outside and closed the door; he could see the footprints Ruka and Hotaru left implanted on the snow. "Everything must've been fine now." He whispered to himself. But in him, nothing was fine… He felt his reason of living slowly passed away… dissolved from his hands. Even though he knew what he did was right, why did he feel it was so wrong? Xiao Rune shook his head, he couldn't change things now, a frown forming on his lips, and nothing could ever change things now…

He was glad she found her right one, even though it wasn't him. "I'd do anything for her." Xiao Rune covered his eyes with his bangs, everything around him was so quiet, and everything was fine. But, why is it in him, everything was a haze, all he can hear is the shattering of his heart, the lost of the reason to live, the decisive cause for tears to slide down his cheeks, he couldn't feel life in him at all. Everything meant nothing now, but, he promised himself he'd do anything to make her smile, a true smile for once and now she's smiling, he knows. He knew in his head he was right, but his heart told him otherwise…

Then…

"Ugh!" A small, female voice rang into his ears, a sound full of pain. He turned his head and looked around, waking up from his sad stupor, after a small moment, his golden eyes widened from what he saw; it was droplet of… of…

"Blood…" Xiao Rue told himself and followed them, feeling awkward and a little scared, and in the corner he saw a female form, curled up in the darkness her body was weak from exhaustion, sweat ran through her body like droplets of the rain, her eyes were wide open and her breathing was heavy. She held her body tightly, trying to stop the pain throbbing inside her form inside. Xiao Rune suddenly paused after seeing her, her long tresses in disarray as if she was tackled by some animal. Her legs were shaking and she kept moaning pain, her eyes were blank as if life was already sucked from her body and her lips have tint of blood on them. "Yui!" Xiao Rune voiced worriedly and knelt down to her. He placed his hand over her forehead and was shocked.

"Yui! You're… You're burning up!" Xiao Rune said worriedly. Yui let out a dry cough, coughing of blood with it as well. Xiao Rune's eyes were painted with a mixture of worry and shock, "Yui!" He voiced as he put his arms beneath her form. "You have to go the clinic!"

Yui shifted her body a little bit making him loose his hold on her. Twitching her eyes in pain, "Are you kiddi-" She coughed some more blood. "I don't… Ahhh!!!!" She screamed and turned her body, shivering terribly as she kept screaming, she held her body tightly but it was no use. Yet, she still refused to go with him. "Ahh! Ouch!!!!!!" She screamed as more blood escaped from her thin lips.

Xiao Rune had no choice, "You're going with me, whether you like it or not!" He said and carried her weakened form on his arms as he wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt so light, like in any second, she could just dissolve in his hands like sand.

"Who told you to boss me!" Yui hissed angrily and tried to move her weakened body from his hold. "I am only obliged to… (cough!) (cough!)" Yui was coughing endlessly as more blood escaped her. In his arms, He can feel Yui's abnormal rising of body temperature. He was so worried, her blank eyes were loosing its dark color and her face was getting paler every second.

"Don't be stubborn!" Xiao Rune exclaimed and ran to the Academy Clinic, he didn't mind running in the empty halls as the bitter winds of winter kept brushing itself against his body, but he needed to save her as soon as possible. The halls were inert, there was no one to help him and the cold temperature kept pushing itself in him, but, his mind was set… This time, he was obliged to save her.

Yui was shocked, no one has ever done this to her. She was a pariah in the eyes of everyone, even in her family. She never belonged because of her Alice, her eyes were the eyes of the demon, and her mother shouted at her and slapped her with a bouquet of flowers before she got sent to the Academy. Her Alice is a gift, the Academy told her, but for her it was a curse she had to live with all of her existence.

"Xia- Xiao Rune…" She murmured feeling her strength slowly being drained from her body. Her eyes were half-lidded but she can still feel Xiao Rune running to the clinic, running because of her… She knew she was not worth it.

"Hush Yui, hush!" He voiced angrily. "You're not in the condition to speak!"

"Xiao Rune…" Her voice was getting fainter; she felt her head getting lighter by the minute. "You… You don't have to…" Her voice was weak but it was still cold and deadly.

"Yes I have to!" Xiao Rune replied hastily, shocking Yui. No one has ever told her that, people despised her, she was branded by thoughts that no one was there for her. She never believed in friendship and cooperation because she has lived on her own all her life. She was placed in a cold, deserted island, trained day and night, every single minute of her empty life before she was sent here to the Academy. She knew that people will get hurt with her around; she banished herself from everyone… But now…. Someone took her….

"W-Why?" She asked weakly. Her voice was dry and blood was flowing by itself from her insipid lips making Xiao Rune worry more. He can feel her getting lighter and body temperature felt like it was burning him. "I'm… I'm ju-just…"

"You're my friend, you got that!" Xiao Rune shouted out to the whole world. "And NOTHING is going to change that!"

All Yui could remember afterwards was being in a state of shock, she could remember the worry in Xiao Rune's eyes just for a recluse like her, she could remember dying in just a moment when he told her…

She was his friend

And that nothing, nothing could… No…

Nothing IS GOING to change it

Yes, nothing at all

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"Mr. Shen, Mr. Shen?" A worried, older female voice called out, waking Xiao Rune from his apprehensive trance. He was seated on a small bench outside the clinic. He could remember that he brought Yui here, her body was battered, her lips were bloody and her eyes were blank but open. Xiao Rune looked up and saw the nurse with a grimace on her face. Xiao Rune could only sigh; he knew her grimace couldn't mean anything good.

"Yes, Ms. Akinawa?" He asked her. Ms. Akinawa fixed her rectangular spectacles and pushed some strands of her auburn hair behind her ear, trying to push away the draftiness of the ambience around them. She saw what Yui looked like, her eyes were open but, they were blank. Her jade eyes were with a mixture of deep gray that Ms. Akinawa couldn't fathom. She felt so scared, the way Yui's eyes shook her body trembled her.

"Dr. Mikami wants to see you," she voiced like a small whisper. Xiao Rune only nodded in reply and walked in the clinic. He saw Dr. Mikami, a 21 year old female doctor, her fingers on her face; her eyes couldn't look more worried. The huge white cloth behind her covered the patients when they were taken in. He knew Yui was behind her, suffering more than her body can handle.

"Dr. Mikami?" Xiao Rune called, trying to sound a little less worried for Yui. "You wanted, you wanted to see me?"

Dr. Mikami faced him with all the worry she could make him see, Xiao Rune knew that this was not the best sign. Dr. Mikami let out a huge sigh and patted a chair next to her, "Yes Mr. Shen, please, seat down."

Xiao Rune nodded and sat down; he clasped his fingers together, trying to ready himself from what he was going to hear. "Mr. Shen, you do know Yui's Alice do you?" Dr. Mikami's voice sounded serious, dead serious.

Xiao Rune nodded in reply; he couldn't bear to speak about her Alice. She was a Dangerous Type; she could kill anyone at a second, with a price of her life. Xiao Rune lowered his head; she just used her Alice as a decoy earlier, to help Ruka with his feelings toward Hotaru. He watched her, she was dangerous, and by just looking at her you can feel your weakness covering you in a minute. Her eyes could suck the life out off you in seconds.

"Mr. Shen, Yui's Alice can reduce her life little by little just by using them." Dr. Mikami continued. "And just this morning, she was brought here by Mr. Narumi, looking just like that." Xiao Rune's eyes widened, if she was brought her earlier with the same fate, it means she wasn't that strong enough to actually use her Alice just to put her plan in action earlier. And by doing so, she fell in this situation. "As you see, Yui's body hasn't recovered enough from earlier and now she enters my office with the same providence."

"Listen, Dr. Mikami…" Xiao Rune replied, "I know that this sounds, awkward. But please, could you help her?" He couldn't do anything anymore. He was weak but, Yui showed him her strength. With her plan, even he was helped. He was helped to let go of Hotaru, that Ruka was already waiting for her, he… was just living a stupid delusion…

"Yes, I can." Dr. Mikami nodded, "But, her Alice is far greater than my healing Alice. I could only make the pain go away, but it's her job to recover." Xiao Rune's face showed a disappointed grimace; somehow it had a big affect on him. She risked her life just of Ruka, why? Does she like him or something? Why'd she do that? Is there something going on? Why'd she ask for his help earlier?

"Listen," Dr. Mikami's voice woken him from his stupor. "We have an important meeting; you don't mind watching Yui right?"

Xiao Rune simply nodded, his lips shut tight. Dr. Mikami frowned but she can't do anything anymore, she stood up with a heavy sigh and left, leaving Xiao Rune and Yui alone in the room. Xiao Rune was still in a deep trance, why would Yui risk her life? He knows her and he's sure she wouldn't do something so stupidly just for someone like that. And besides, she wouldn't need his help; she would never ask anyone's help.

"Could it possible be?" He asked himself. "Could Yui actually like Ruka?" He asked some more. He knew Yui, everyone knows her and she's not the most likely person to fall in love. But, to risk something so much for just a single person? "It's got to be it!" He exclaimed to himself. Yet, he can't push that thought deeper into him, Yui, she's just not the girl, not the girl to…

Xiao Rune mentally slapped himself, Yui's over there, fighting in the verge of life and death and here he is making something stupid about what happened earlier. He let out a huge sigh and slowly walked to the other side of the huge cover, his eyes were still filled with worry he couldn't fathom at all. He reached the other side and was shaken from what he saw.

"Yui?" He muttered to himself. Is this what she looks like every time she's sent to different mission? Is this what her Alice does to her body, making it weak and crumpled while it feed on her life? He, he couldn't believe this at all. Her body was laid down on the divan, her right arm injected with a long needle connected to tube that lets medicine pass into her body, her other arm was connected to a another machine that regulates her heart beat and pulse, her mouth and nose covered by an oxygen mask (_MK: Sorry, I'm not really familiar with these things so please bear with me!), _her breathing was heavy. Other parts in her arms, neck and face have small needles pushed through them connected to another machine.

"It's like her body is toyed by machines," he murmured to himself in shock. He walked slowly to her bed, his legs shivered at the sight, machines day and night kept her life every after mission. He reached a small chair near it and suddenly sat down, his golden eyes filled with worry, pity and an urge to kill himself.

"Yui!" He voiced and wrapped his right hand on her left hand, "I-I'm so sorry." He muttered and rested his head on the bed with her. This was his fault, Yui would have never suffered some stupid fate like this if he just let go of Hotaru that quickly. If he never flirted with her while Ruka watched, Yui would have never went to all this trouble to push Ruka.

"This is my fault Yui…" He voiced. He knew right from the start Hotaru's eyes would only see him as a friend but he kept pushing, driving Ruka and trying to take that place in Hotaru's heart from him. He was living in a damn lie back then; Yui tried her best to put things back in the right place. She did her best to wake everyone up from the trance and brought Ruka and Hotaru together. "If I've given Hotaru up earlier, you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't even have done this but I… I… I was such… a jerk."

He could feel his guilt eating him all up, but, he accepted it. He knew in him it was all his fault, Ruka and Hotaru could have been happier days ago but he came and ruined it. Yui would just be Yui not ending up like this if he just let Hotaru go. "I'm sorry… Yui… I'm… I'm so sorry…"

He knew whatever he would say, she couldn't hear it. He knew that in just a second she could die and disappear from this world. He knew it was all his fault… "If I could take your place…"

His guilt ate his soul, his heart. He couldn't think of anything else but killing himself for what happened to Yui. He couldn't think of any other way to take every single mark of his guilt out of his heart. After a moment…

He fell asleep, but his mind is still hazed up, his guilt was still banging him back to reality. His sleep was like a nightmare… a damned nightmare…

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"_Xiao Rune?" A cold teenage voice called from him. The male teen turned his head and saw…_

"_Yui?" He asked in shock. Yui raised an eye brow, her long tresses flowing against her cheeks, her deadly jade eyes always seemed to be gazing in an endless stupor as she took one step closer to him. "What is it?"_

_Yui looked deep into his eyes, her gazes scared the hell out of him. She was deadly, in the way she talks, walks and especially the way she looks deep into people's eyes. He stood frozen but she stood calmly. Her jade eyes filled with nothing, blankness. She took one heavy sigh and crossed her slender arms. "You're been crying haven't you?"_

_Xiao Rune bit his lower lip and shook his head, was it that noticeable? That was impossible, last time he checked, it seemed to even himself that he hasn't even cried and now she notices it! "N-No," he stammered making her smirk. "I-I didn't ok?" She just looked at him with a smirk, a cold smirk telling him she wasn't satisfied with his lame excuse. Xiao Rune puffed his cheeked and replied, "I didn't ok! And what makes you think I'll cry anyways! I'm a MAN will ya? I haven't got the guts to be seen with tears falling from my eyes, got that! Use your head Yui!" Xiao Rune let of an irritated sigh and crossed his arms, not facing Yui. _

"_You've got to be kiddin' me." Yui thought to herself with a bored look on her face. "Don't kid me Xiao Rune." She uttered calmly. "I know you did." _

_Xiao Rune got pissed off and faced her goaded, "I said I DID NOT! Get of my back will ya?!" He breathed heavily like a huge animal. Yui stilled gazed at him, her deadly jade eyes makes you feel as if she's piercing into your soul. She let out a unsatisfied sigh. _

"_You're not a good liar are you?" She asked calmly. Xiao Rune's eyes twitched, then, sighed afterwards. "You can't lie from me, Xiao Rune." She was right, he couldn't lie to her. Ever since they went to the Academy, she had that 6__th__ sense about lies. She could know right away what a lie was and what was the truth, people thought before that that was her Alice. And her eyes, when you look into her eyes, there was no getting out of them…_

"_Yeah, I did." He replied and placed his back on the solid wall. "What are you going to do about it?" _

"_Nothing," Yui replied. "All I need is your help."_

"_My help?" Xiao Rune asked like it was the most impossible thing in the world. "Are you kiddin' me or what?"_

_Yui sighed and locked her eyes to him, Xiao Rune suddenly felt the cold breeze pass his body and gulped. "I'm not playing games." She replied with a low tone._

"_Ok, ok!" Xiao Rune replied, scared obviously. "What do you want?"_

_Yui smirked and answered, "Simple. I know how you feel about Imai Hotaru."_

"_How?"_

"_It's now how Xiao Rune." Yui replied and walked closer to him. "It's simply what." _

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"W-what…" A male voice muttered, finally waking up from his dreaded nightmare of guilt.

"Oh, you're awake now." A cold female voice said. Xiao Rune shook his head lightly, finally having the strength to process everything in his head. As his memory of the happenings before this, Yui watched him slowly getting up from his trance. What the hell is the matter with this guy? What's he doing here? There so much to do and now he's here, wasting his time with a dangerous and worthless person like her. Yui couldn't fathom Xiao Rune's actions towards her at all.

Xiao Rune finally found himself awake, his golden eyes staring at the cold walls of the room. Giving his eyes one last rub, he voiced, "So, how are you?" Yui faced the ceiling, her jade eyes turning blank again. Xiao Rune quietly waited for an answer, but, he knew he was never to get one. Xiao Rune just let the moment pass by, silence covered them.

Every thing around them was blank, a zilch. Nothing was moving other than them, no one was there, it was empty, only their unfulfilled souls covered the place. The draftiness of the winter found its way to the room, making the place more serene and still. Everyone was out there, having fun, laughing, doing something stupid or simply confused about their lives. They stayed there, as the clock slowly ticks, no one has muttered a word.

Yui laid down there, her face with a stupid mask and her body was like an experiment, filled with tubes, needles that the Academy says will help her. She knew lies when she hears one, and that was definitely a lie. Nothing can help her now; these needles in her body are just stupid decoys to make the other students see they try their best to help Alices like her. Stupid lies to give the Academy a clean reputation, but Yui saw the dark side of the Academy. She lived her life with that side, she could never see the other side of it, and she will live in the darkness of the Academy. She knows she belongs there. And one day she'll just die, vanish without anyone actually caring about her lifeless corpse…

Xiao Rune kept giving Yui small glances, her eyes were blank, and she looked like a corpse the school tried to keep alive. Her long azure hair above her head and her petite body filled with needles and tubes, "Is this actually going to help her?" He asked himself. She looked like a dying teenager that the school just won't put to rest. Her body always used in missions that cost her every single minute, day, second of her life. He pitied her, and because of him, she wasted another day of her existence to help Ruka and Hotaru. Because of him, she had to risk a part of her life. If he had just accepted the truth, she needed not a plan to kill her.

If he just let go of his stupid delusions, he, himself could have saved a portion of her life. Later that night, he knows they'll take her and make her as a killing puppet again, strings attached to her back as she kills everyone in her way, with or without her Alice. That's the ways he lives and now he makes it worse. Her Alice was to be used in missions that could actually help numbers of people. But, she let go a portion of her life just to save Ruka and Hotaru from actually just letting go. Why? Because he was such a baby… He never wanted to wake up, and he woke up late, when Hotaru and Ruka felt like they were worlds apart…

"This is my entire fault!" He blurted quietly to himself. He was so selfish! He kept everything to himself; he never even bothered to see that Hotaru was getting hurt of what he was doing.

"What's up with you?" An emotionless voice shook him from his trance. Xiao Rune let out a sigh; he couldn't turn and change things now. He'll just be better off eaten by his own guilt, feeling the pain he made everyone suffer. "If you're wondering if I'm ok," Yui added. "Don't worry, I am."

Xiao Rune was taken back a little but simply replied not looking at her, "I'm glad to hear that."

Yui was a little taken back, what got into that empty head of his! He's done enough, enough is enough! She knew that he'll only get hurt to see the dark side she's been walking through her lif.e. No one must go near, she was to draw the line. .She wasn't looking at him either; she still had her eyes fixed on the ceiling and Xiao Rune's eyes playing with the floor, both their thoughts eaten up by circumstances. Their eyes didn't meet at all.

"I'm getting out of here." Yui voiced with a composed tone and sat up.

"Are you out of you're mind!" Xiao Rune voice and stood up, his hands on the bed. His voice called Yui's attention, "You're badly hurt and now you're just going to…"

"I never asked for any opinion," she replied coldly. She took the mask from her face and was about to take the long syringe on her right arm when…

"Don't do that!" Xiao Rune replied, harshly taking her hand making her surprised. "You're going to get hurt!"

"I'm always hurt," she replied in a monotone voice and took her hand back by a sudden move. Xiao Rune took it once more, he got her into this, he got her to get hurt like this, he won't risk it again… He wont' be stupid, he won't act like a child anymore.

"No!" He's tone of voice slightly higher. "You're hurt and you have to stay like this!" Yui bit her lower lip, she wanted to just get away from him, or better yet, get him to see that he has to leave her there.

"Who told you to mind me?" She asked and took her hand again. Xiao Rune was about to take it again when Yui looked at him, her eyes were simply deadly, dangerous. Xiao Rune stepped back, his whole body covered with fear, like earlier in the platform. He was shaken back then, he couldn't even move a finger and he felt like history was repeating itself.

Yui had the upper hand; no one can escape the fear in her eyes, the death it brings. That's the same reason why her family pushed her away. Yui shook her head and gave Xiao Rune one last glance, he was frozen still, his golden eyes still in the state of shock. Then, she turned her head to her right arm, she raised her hand and then…

"Ugh!" She blurted out to herself, twitching her eyes in pain. She forcibly took the needle from her arm.

"Why the heck did you do that! You're hurting yourself!" Xiao Rune voiced and looked at her right arm; it had blood gushing from it. Yui just stared at him at shock, he… He was able to escape the death in her eyes in a few seconds; no… no one has ever done that so fast! She couldn't believe this, was she getting weak? Was he getting stronger? It didn't make any sense at all.

"Tch! I can't believe this!" Xiao Rune voiced and wiped the blood away from his left hand. "You better not do that again!" Yui just stared, simply in the state of shock. She couldn't say anything nor move, what the hell was he doing! He was wiping the blood of, cleaning it! This could not be happening, she didn't deserve this nor did she ask for his help. She needed to get away from him, the faster, and the better.

"There!" He voiced after putting a band aid on her scratch. Yui woke up from her stupor, her eyebrows met.

"Stop that will you," she replied, her voice a little irritated.

"You had better stop this!" Xiao Rune replied. "What the heck are you doing? You're hurting yourself! You're hurt and now you want to get outta here!"

Yui didn't reply and started to take all the needles from her skin, "What the heck are you doing! Stop that!" Xiao Rune shouted and took her hand. Yui glared at him and pushed him, making him hit the wall. (_MK: Yui is STRONG, she's trained remember!) _

"Get off my back," she murmured to him. Xiao Rune rubbed the back of his head and stood up, that was one push but it was excruciating for a moment. Her hands pushed his shoulders with a sudden impact, his shoulders felt sore all of the sudden. Shaking away the painful thoughts from his head, he walked near to Yui, she was already standing, ready to leave in a second.

"Hey!" Xiao Rune voiced, stood up and ran to her quickly.

Yui faced him and replied, "Just buzz off will you?"

"I won't!" He took her arm. "You're badly hurt and you have to rest!"

"I don't need rest!" Yui replied, glaring at him.

"Yes you do!" Xiao Rune replied, trying his best not to chicken out form the look of Yui's eyes.

"I don't! I know myself better than anyone and I say I don't need rest!" She voiced, utterly irritated.

"When I saw you earlier, you were in a dark corner and you were in pain. Now, you need rest to recover!"

"I already had my rest so back off will you?" Yui replied trying to keep her composure. But, Xiao Rune was not ready to give up, he did this, he has to make her rest.

"I won't until you get the rest you need!" He replied. Yui sighed, this guy isn't ready to give up at all. She has no way out, she shrugged her shoulders and hissed.

"Stop it ok?" She replied and took her arm from his grip. "This isn't going anywhere. If we fight here, nothing is going to happen-"

"So just stay here and rest!" Xiao Rune cut her off.

Yui bit her lip, this guy's hard headed and he won't stop until he actually sees him lying on the stupid bed with all the tubes in her body. She had no choice, "Shut up and listen will you! Let's bust out off here, I… I don't want it in here."

"Why? You need this pla-"

"No I don't," she cut him off. Xiao Rune looked at her, his face filled with the question "WHY." Yui lowered her head, "You would never understand me, so don't even try."

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Silence

Yui faced him when he uttered, "I don't like it in here too. Let's go."

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_What the hell is he doing?_

_He shouldn't be hanging around with me!  
_

_Things shouldn't have been this way_

_I should've knocked some senses at him earlier!  
_

_I should've just left him!  
_

_Dammit! Why didn't I?_

_Yeah, why didn't I?_

_  
Is it because he helped me?_

_Or is it because he called me a friend?_

_It doesn't make any sense at all! _

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_A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, I wanted to know if you want me to continue this chapter, harhar! Uhm… and there's a following 2 or 3 more chapters after this, that'll be the last, or do you want it to stay as is? Please REVIEW!_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_

_(Thanks for bei for being a nice reviewer, I'll try my best, don't worry!) _


	23. The Truth Behind Everything II

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Hello people, I haven't updated because I was engrossed with a novel my mom made me read. I wanted to finish it so I finished it in2 ½ days exactly. And now… I'm back into being an authoress!

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Chapter 23: The Truth behind Everything II

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The stillness

The blankness

Everything was so serene; everything around us was calm, soft gushes of the wind made small mutters across the room, everything was empty…

Nothing seemed to be in place anymore, nothing seemed to be in its correct arrangement. Has the world gone mad? Has change in the surrounding affected innocent people's thinking? Has the wall I built around me just come crashing down? I… I don't understand it at all… Everything was fine, I was banished.

I was alone, I was shackled, both of my feet chained against the wall and by hands crossed against my chest, I was no one to begin with. And I'll die one as well; I knew everything around me was right, I knew that things were right but now… What has happened now? A sudden flash of light came before me, while I was weakly constrained unto the cold walls of my solitude. Then, he came; he was starting to take everything away… I won't let that happen… I won't…

"Yui?" A masculine voice rang through my ears. I woke up from the coldness of my stupor and shook my head lightly. "Yui?" He voiced once more. I lowered my head and didn't bother to reply. He knew me, he knew me enough that I don't like answering small questions.

"Ugh!" I voiced to myself while shaking my right hand, my trance was getting the better of me, I can see. "Dammit…" I wiped the spilled tea from the table and tossed the rag against the sink. I was getting out of my head once again; my thoughts flying from my current position the I jus let the tea slip from my hands.

"Yui, are you all right over there?" He asked me from the living room.

Hn, my savior, my idiotic savior, I thought dryly and carried the snacks to my the specific room. He was in my room, the boy's dormitory was farther away than the girls, and besides, and my head's pounding itself against the wall. I wanted to get things straightened.

Things like…

I don't need a friend

And he doesn't want a friend like me.

As I walked across the room, carrying the tray on my hands, I could feel his heavy glance at me. I didn't care, I was used to such glances, better off to be called perusal by people around me, like they've just seen the devil walk pass them. I placed the tray on the small, glass table in front of him and took a seat at his left side. Sure, I can see that there's more space in the sofa for the two of us, but I knew I needed to keep my distance.

"Are you sure you're all right?" He asked me once again. I sighed heavily, I feel like in just once minute he'll pull me back into that clinic.

"I'm fine," I replied. _I guess… _

"Oh…" He sounded like he really wanted to pull me back to that white bed with all the tubes back in my body. I didn't bother looking at him, but I can see through my peripheral vision that he took one tea in his hands, I smirked for no reason. No worries, I didn't plan on poisoning him anyways.

After a long moment of silence, I made up my mind. I needed to make the adjustments between us as quick as possible. I wanted to stay as myself, shackled against the walls of my empty life, I didn't ask for his help so I have to push him out.

"Liste-"

"Yui," He cut me off, as if he knew right exactly when I was about to speak. "I, I- I'm sorry."

My eyes blinked, lost again, what the hell was he talking about. "Sorry for what?" I can't help but ask. I needed him away but all he keeps doing is pushing him in the abyssal zilch in my life. What the heck is running through his empty head?

He took one deep sigh, "For earlier. You, you could've lost your life in the party-"

"I did it and you had nothing to do with it." I replied coldly. He wouldn't understand me anyways, any way I'd put my words no one would understand.

He shook his head and continued. "No, that's not what I meant. I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

If you call people saving lives as empty as mine jerks, the whole world has gone crazy. "What the heck?" I was still befuddled; I couldn't read his eyes because I haven't got the stupid strength to face him at all.

"What I mean was; I was such a child." He explained. "I couldn't get myself to accept the fact that Hotaru couldn't see me more as a friend. I kept pushing myself in a stupid delusion thinking I could replace Ruka in her heart. And because of that, Ruka felt that Hotaru doesn't like him and that's what I really want him to feel. I didn't know that I was also suffocating Hotaru too."

"What does this have to do with me?" I asked again, I couldn't understand him.

"Because of how I acted, Ruka lost everything and you needed to help him using your Alice. And by doing so, you… you… you have to loose…"

"I made that decision; no one told me how I should do my job." I replied. He doesn't have to think about things to deep… He has to stay away… He just needs to stay away…

"Job?" He asked. I stopped running my cold fingers against my hair and straightened up. I took one deep sigh and faced him; his eyes were emptily staring at the tea in his hands. Tch… I feel sorry for the guy… He needed to know the truth and everything… everything will be over…

"Yes, job." I paused; I could feel an awkward feeling running though my body for some reason. But, the legitimacy will get things straight. I had to do it. I shook of that discomfited feeling from my head and continued. "Natsume Hyuuga, he told me to do it. He told me to do everything in my power to help his best friend get through this."

I could sense the feeling of shock run through him, I watched him. His hands started to tremble, "Why follow him?"

"Because Persona told me too." I replied. "Hyuuga-sama seems to be his favorite and gave me as his little apprentice, like a small gift."

"So you have to do everything and follow him?" _Isn't that obvious enough!_

"Yes, basically, yes." I nodded. "And if you're wondering what will happen if I don't do so, it's best not to know." _Things could get ugly… very ugly…_

Xiao Rune gave off a heavy sigh; his hands seemed to have stopped trembling. The silence covered us once again, and every time I had the urge to speak about what I want to stop, I can see him taking small bite on the tuna sandwich I made. I would suddenly loose my strength and tremble back to my thoughts.

It seems that deep inside me, I was contented. I thought I never needed someone and that was true. I managed to live as this without anyone. But I knew everything in me was empty and I felt no one could have an emptier life than mine. But, this small time with Xiao Rune made me realize one thing I kept hidden…

Deeply hidden for no reason at all…

Having someone with me

Was much better than just lying alone…

It surely is better…

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It seemed that the silence could just kill us both for no reason…

I found myself making small excuses of not muttering a single word by biting on the tuna sandwich she made. Every time I would try to open my mouth, the tuna sandwich makes its way first in my mouth than the words could come out of them. I felt so weak and have this gauche, unknown feeling running through me every time I try to make a conversation with her.

I still give a small moment of pause from actually devouring the tuna sandwiches she made to look at her, her long azure hair running against her slender figure. She was quiet and her eyes spoke of nothing, her lips were sealed tight. She was elegant from the view I had of her in my spot.

I placed my hand on the tray, trying to feel if there was still tuna sandwiches, but to my dismay, I've gobbled everything single one of them without noticing. I gulped; I had nothing else as a pretext for me not to talk. I ran my hand against my neck, this bizarre feeling working in me deeper…

"Yu-Yui…" I said, nearly sounded like I just slipped her name from my mouth. Ugh, nice one Xiao Rune…

"What is it?" She voiced with the same chilly tune she always uses.

"Uhm, err… Something bothering you?" I asked, well, guessed actually, I didn't actually know what to say. She seemed to be surprised, like I had the right words running out of my mouth.

"Actually, there is," she answered me plainly. I nodded and took a sip of the tea she made.

"You think I can help?" I asked, even though the stupid answer is simply NO. I know Yui enough to realize she won't open her mouth about something to someone like me. I'm no one to her… And to think… I called her my friend earlier…

"Yes, I know you can." She replied. I felt like bursting the tea I just drank from my mouth all over the place. Am I actually hearing the truth? Argh! Snap out of it Xiao Rune, I could practically kill myself right now for no reason…

"Uhmm, ok, how then?" I asked, with small chokes at the middle. She bit her lower lip and turned her gaze to me, her jade eyes still creeps me out.

"Simple," she replied and stood up. "Get out of my life."

I sat there, I felt like I'd go unconscious in any minute and I have no idea what I'll do if I'd wake up. I felt my knees trembling and my head processing blank, empty thoughts. I couldn't feel my strength, I couldn't feel anything. I felt so blank, I felt so empty. My knees and fingers kept tremulous like I'd just let this cup of tea slip from my hold.

What the hell did she mean by that?! I couldn't understand these things around me, I couldn't fathom, comprehend the situations running around in my life! I couldn't find myself, where I should place this empty life of mine. I couldn't get it…

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A momentarily slip

Makes the most changes

I crossed my arms; I had my back turned away from him. Why? I don't know why. I'm used to seeing people's sadness before me, I'm used to seeing the deep, dark sorrow or anger they had because of me, and naturally I didn't care. But now, I couldn't look into his eyes, I didn't have the strength.

Why? Why do feel this way?

Is it because he makes good company?

I knew I should've pushed him away earlier on, this wouldn't have to happen.

Hn, but I did it now, there's nothing I could do to change those words I said to him. I had to make him see he doesn't belong to be staying with me, he doesn't have to stay with a pariah like me, I've banished myself, my whole soul locked up in a dark room, shackles against the wall and I want things to stay that way. No one has to come and see it; no one needs to suffer the same fate I have…

"Now why would I want to do that?" He voiced at me calmly.

My eyes widened, doesn't he get the damn point? Why wouldn't he just stay away, I don't want to be weak neither does he have to see the dungeon I've been trapped in all my life. "You don't need a reason," I replied coldly, my eyes still playing around not bothering to look at him. "Just do it."

I heard him place the cup back on the tray, "I don't want to do things for no reason." He answered. "I don't want to be an idiot anymore."

Hn, he is becoming an idiot right now. Why couldn't he just see people like me don't deserve to be with other people, I deserve the banishment I placed on myself right now? "Just stay away, idiot…"

"I won't!" He exclaimed and stood up. I suddenly felt taken back; I could feel his heavy gaze upon my form. "I won't until I know why!"

"Why do you have to know?" I asked him and took all the strength I had to face him. With one last sigh, I looked at him straightly, trying to avoid the unnecessary feelings rummaging through my thoughts. "Things are better left unsaid.

"No!" He replied and took one step forward, I kept my cool gaze on him, I didn't want to budge, and I needed to show him I never cared. "You're my friend Yui and we should stay-"

Here he goes with the friendship thing, it makes me sick.

"We're not friends got it?" I replied with a raise of tone. "So… So just get out!" But instead, I ran away. I opened the door and ran away…

"Yui! Yui!"

I heard his voice after me; I could here his footsteps running after me. I didn't deserve these things. I never wanted these things.

"Just leave me you fool!" I replied and ran faster. I knew he couldn't keep up with me at this rate, my Alice gives me the strength and stealth I need. It'll take him forever to reach me…

I kept running, running, taking this corner, this turn, I didn't know exactly where I was going…

I couldn't feel the answer of why I was running walking through my head but, I had enough of things, I had enough. I… I just want… I just…

"Oof!!" I exclaimed and fell to my bottom. Rubbing it sorely, I had the greatest urge to kill that person I have bumped to into nothing but dust. I stared at him angrily and suddenly mentally slapped myself.

"What happened to you Yui?" He asked; his voice cold as mine. I stood up and shook my head hurriedly. His deep plum hair swaying with the cold gushes of the wind through the hallway, his deep scarlet heavily placed against my form, I was weak and defenseless when I was with him. I was nothing compared to him, I was just dirt in his palms.

"Don't lie to me Yui," he voiced and took one step forward. I kept my composure, my head still lowered; I didn't know what to answer. I didn't know what words I should make out from my thin lips. I gazed away from him, I had no choice.

Persona will kill me if I don't tell him, things would get worse. I needed to tell him, I had the weirdest urge to just spill it out on him.

"Hai, Hyuuga-sama," I replied.

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Everything earlier seemed to be such a vague memory, I can't quite remember how I got here but, as I can see, I'm in our classroom, together with my superior, Hyuuga Natsume.

Sitting in the corner of the room with him made me feel uneasy, I have never been close like this with the black cat, in fact, I've never known him, and he was just my master that I'm willing to serve.

"So, what's the mission report Yui?" He asked me, his tone of voice was deep yet, there could be no emotion that can be read from it at all.

"Finished," I replied simply.

"What's the cost?" He asked me. I bit my lower lip, what am I supposed to say, I risked a part of life just for it? I don't know Hyuuga-sama that much but I've got a bad feeling if I tell him that I used my Alice to make Ruka blurt his feelings to Hotaru.

"Nothing too badly I guess," I said. I was right, no one would care if I die, I'll just be a corpse flowing in the river, animals may eat me, others may burn me but no one would care, no one would bother to see the girl with the dreadful Alice fade away from this world.

He nodded in reply. I kept feeling this uneasy feeling now that I'm close to him. I have this strange urge to open my mouth and say something. But what will I say? Hyuuga-sama isn't that open to me, all I know is his name, his Alice and that I have to obey everything he says, even if it costs me my life. It's another way of training me that no one would care if I'll die; all I'd do is follow orders, somehow saying I have some worth after all…

"Yui," he voiced. "Have you learned something from the mission?" He asked me. I remember pondering deeply about love; I can't really answer his question. But, I have to…

"Yes," I answered. "I learned that love equals to great strength and limitation."

He looked at me as if he wanted a more sure answer, but, I wasn't sure myself. All this times were clear to my eyes but a huge blur in my head. I can't quite figure how I got stuck in this situation. Everything, I can't process it in my head, everything's such a blur.

"Tell me," he said. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"_How could I tell you if I don't even know what it is?"_ I asked myself. I gazed to the window; I could see the deep looks in his eyes through his reflection from the glass. I could still see the snow slowly falling from heaven, reminds me of sheer stupidity of someone that taught me things I couldn't understand. I lowered my head, never bothering to look at me superior.

"Yui, you are to follow me," he told me firmly. I nodded meekly, I felt so low with him I felt so small in his gazes. His strength was nothing compared to mine, I know I should answer him, but how can I? I'm may be smart (_MK: I forgot to mention she's a three-star, hehe) _but I feel so empty, I just don't know what to put in my head and release from my mouth.

"And now I'm telling you," he stood up and jump in front of my, I gazed in marvel, I didn't hear him, I didn't feel him but he… he jumped in front of me without a sound… I couldn't match up with him… "Tell me what's bothering you…"

I took one heavy sigh and replied, "Everything's bothering me Hyuuga-sama." He raised his eye brow. "I don't know what to do anymore, everything I believed in seemed to be such a blur."

"What are those things you believed in?" My master, the black cat asked me.

"That I should stay alone all my life," I stated and stood up, my bangs covering my eyes. "That no one should be there to shoulder what I do and what I am. That if I die, no one will be there to see me fade." I clenched my fists hard, "That I don't need any friends."

He simply smirked at my statement, why? I'm sure he suffered the same fate as me, what's to smirk about my situation?

"You know what," he uttered. "We used to share the same thoughts, but now, things have brightened up on me."

I looked at him and was taken back, my master… My master… was smiling; his smile was small yet very noticeable for someone like him. It was a smirk, a sly grin or anything like that, he… he was smiling…

It looked like it feels nice…

"Yui," he stated and patted me on the shoulder. "What you're thinking is wrong."

"Ho-How?" I asked him. I've lived with this thought all my life, I thought it was the truth, actually, I KNEW back then it was the truth but now… I, I just don't und- understand!

"Yui," he explained. "I was once thinking like and up to now, I'm still having doubts about it but, deep in me I knew those things were wrong."

I didn't know what to say, what to react… In me, I could feel myself just screaming, as if the cold walls of my dungeon blew into small pieces and I saw a tall, dark figure walking to me, with a flame in his hands… Light…

"I lived my life like you did; I drank, slept, in the darkness I found in me. Then, someone stupid came into my life," he stated with a small smirk. "I tried to push her away; I thought she was the stupidest person in the world. But I suddenly found myself lying alone, thinking how stupid I was…"

I stayed quiet, his soft palm against my thin shoulder. I wanted to learn more, I WANT to know…

"She showed me that I didn't have to face everything alone," he voiced. "She knew, we both knew I could die soon and it's as if she told me to enjoy the last days, months or possibly days still left for me. And you know what… I fell in love with her."

My eyes widened, my master? Fell in love with an idiot? How… How could this be?

"The world is full of the stupidest things Yui," he said to me, as if lecturing a small innocent child, I only bit my lower lip and closed my eyes. I didn't want to accept his words, but they kept running through my body. "Yui, trust me on this." Yes, I would. I know from his strength he was telling the truth, he has older than me in these things, but I couldn't open my eyes, to the world nor to the reality. "Don't be scared to open yourself, and if others may get hurt, you'll be there to protect them."

I nodded, I nodded meekly. I felt the light running through my empty soul. Hyuuga-sama was right, he's always right. And whether he's right or wrong…

I'm ready to follow him, to obey his words.

Because those words are the only things that make me see the worth I have in this world…

Yes…

He lifted my face and I saw his deep crimson eyes, they were telling me to trust him. I nodded more firmly now, I do trust him.

"Hai, Hyuuga-sama," I replied and bowed before him. He looked at me as I sighed and ran out of the door. But, curiosity got the better of me and I turned back to ask, "Hyuuga-sama?"

"Hai, Yui?" He replied.

"Who's the idiot anyways?" I asked him. He made a mocking smile and told me. I could only laugh inside myself. "Do you want any help with her?"

He thought for awhile, "Yeah, I'll ask it if I need it."

I nodded and bowed down to my master. After that, I ran back to my room… Hoping to see Xiao Rune still there

Being an idiot for running into my life

Being my idiotic friend

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I heard the door open

I could only sigh heavily, never bothered to see who came in the room

"What happened to you?" A familiar voice asked me. My eyes widened, could it possibly be? I shook my thoughts and lifted my head and stood up from what I saw.

"Yu-Yui?" I exclaimed.

She smirked, "What? This is my room. It's like you've seen a ghost or something."

I chuckled form her reply; she seemed awfully different from the girl I ran after earlier. She seemed to be feeling lighter and better this time. Her jade eyes were still cold, yet, I could see a small spark of light in them. Her figure looked very nice, her long azure tresses flowing by itself across her shoulders down to her petite waist, her skin was pale as the snow and I had to admit she was beautiful.

"Oh, that." I smiled at her. I felt so light to see her like this, as if things about Hotaru flew out of my head and I was glad it did. I couldn't help but feel refreshed and brand new the way Yui looked before me. "Sorry."

"Don't bother," she replied and walked nearer. "And don't bother not walking out of my life."

I was shocked for a few seconds but I smiled and nodded. "I won't, don't worry."

She lazily sat herself down the sofa, her eyes deeply looking at the ceiling, like in the clinic. I smiled at her and sat down next to her.

"What happened to you?" I asked, returning her previous question.

"Don't take this for granted," she replied, her eyes still on the ceiling. "Hyuuga-sama told me."

"I should really come to know that Hyuuga person," I replied with a small chuckle. She simply smirked and nodded.

"I guess you should," she replied to me. I nodded and held out my hand. She faced me with a confused look.

"So friends?" I asked. She kept staring at me, after a moment, I could feel my hands getting a bit tired and I just sighed in my mind, this was definitely too good to be true. I was about to put it down when she caught it and smiled, for once…

"Sure, why not?" She replied. My eyes were just wide open, she was beautiful, she was smiling at me

And most of all…

She was my friend now…

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Almost one week has passed from this wild day but everything in me never could still remember from it.

Hotaru and Ruka had been more open with their relationship, and even though my heart still have this little something for her, I have to accept it, she's happy now and I'm happy with that either.

Natsume and Mikan was given 2 weeks for a day of from their international day-off, Yui was grateful for that.

As for me, I'm living my life, being an idiot and being the same human I am. Yui and I became friends and I'm happy about it. She smiles quite a lot, even though only in front of me, I'm glad she's actually getting out of her shell.

Oh…

New Year Festival is coming

I can't wait…

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_MK: Howdy people! Do you want me to continue? I hoped you like it and heres's a question:_

_Do you want me t continue?_

_a.NO  
b.YES_

_And if you do, in what way?_

_New chapter_

_New story?_

_About what?_

_Ordinary days with pairings?_

_New Year Festival with pairings?_

_Please answer!  
_

_-Mitsukai Kansei_


	24. To Clear things out!

Christmas Dragonfly

Disclaimer: I don't own GA

A/N: Please hear me out!  
**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Dear readers of X-mas Dragonfly.

As I've read from your review, I guess I made a slight mistake making, you my readers, to not understand what I really meant about a new story or chapter. I was asking whether if I should continue. Here are the choices:

Should I continue? YES or NO

If Yes, in what way? A NEW CHAPTER IN X-MAS DRAGONFLY or A NEW STORY

IF a new story, what would it be like? ORDINARY DAYS or ABOUT THE NEW YEAR FESTIVAL

Would you like to include Xiao Rune and Yui? YES or NO

Would you like to include Hotaru and RUka? YES or NO

Would you like it to be a song fic? YES or NO

Well, I hope you've understood things now, the main purpose of me asking it I'm going to do a NatsuMikan fluff as many readers keep asking me, so I will and all I need is a little help from you guys, please review and cooperate with me.

Again, I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience and good day!!

_-Mitsukai Kansei_

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**


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